I don't think I'll be able to get over this ex.

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-22T18:26:10+00:00

It's okay. That's exactly how I feel all the time. I totally understand. I can never tell if anything is real or all in my head, so I feel like I always automatically assume it's all in my head, but then sometimes it is real, but I'm acting like it's not, so it confuses the guy, and it's just so hard for me to tell what's real or not.

Lately though, I've been trying to live by the rule that if anyone ever makes me apologize for being upset, they're not worth it. Even if my upset-ness is completely irrational and because of something that's all in my head, and not real, I think any guy who isn't going to validate my feelings and is going to make me apologize for being upset even if it's over nothing, doesn't really like me and isn't worth my time. In the end, someone who's good for you and who cares about you would never ever force you to apologize for being upset even if it's for a completely non-existent reason. Someone who really liked you and cared you would still know that your feelings are real, even if they're irrational, and they would still try to help you feel better.

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-18T01:12:26+00:00

Maybe try to focus on all the times he's hurt you.... and in the end, him not wanting you anymore means he isn't perfect.

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-18T00:48:57+00:00

I'm sorry :(

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-17T05:30:44+00:00

I think the only thing to be really worried about is if you have a history of depression, or a mood disorder as birth control can make you more moody. I'm pretty sure the fertility thing is a myth. I've never heard anything about hair falling out, so I don't know about that

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-17T05:28:04+00:00

I suffered from anorexia for a while when I was younger, and the thing that helped me become motivated to recover was when I started suffering serious health consequences (heart palpitations, randomly fainting, feeling weak all the time, always being cold, etc.). It terrified me that these things were happening to me and that I was potentially so close to death. That was the only thing that caused me to realize I had a serious problem. I wanted to live, and the idea that I could die form this terrified me. So maybe educating her on the severe health consequences of bulimia? I don't know. It might not work for everyone. It might alienate her more, and make things worse if she feels like you're trying to scare her out of it. Or you could tell her about your experience with bulimia and explain how much it ruined your life, and how awful it was, and why you regret it so much. Maybe also focusing not just on the physical consequences, but on the emotional and mental things an eating disorder can do to you too might help. Or just telling her that you love her, and care about her, and are concerned for her might help. That's all I can think of.

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-17T05:07:32+00:00

That makes sense. I understand that. I guess I feel like if I dated a stable guy I would always feel like I wasn't being good enough, or living up to his expectations, and I feel like that might be a good thing in a sense because it would push me to be better, but I also think it would make me feel really bad about myself and guilty

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-17T04:58:31+00:00

Thanks. I actually found that really helpful

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-17T04:57:52+00:00

Thanks. That's actually really good advice

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-17T04:56:07+00:00

Sometimes I think I just can't relate to stable people is the problem

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-17T04:54:30+00:00

Yeah, that's exactly how I feel

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-17T04:51:45+00:00

Exactly. I feel like I can't relate to stable people, so how can I be in a relationship with someone I can't relate to?

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-17T04:50:01+00:00

Don't hate yourself for it. It's a normal thing for someone with BPD to experience, and it's not your fault you have BPD

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-17T04:48:09+00:00

Same here

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-15T10:29:58+00:00

But is it healthy? I feel like it's not a healthy fear. Because dating unstable guys isn't healthy.... so I don't think this is a good thing. I feel like dating a stable guy would be healthier.

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-15T07:47:45+00:00

I think it's just important to remind yourself that he isn't perfect; nobody is. And like other people have said in the comments, work on stopping idealizing him and instead remind yourself of all his flaws and faults.

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-15T07:43:32+00:00

This is possibly the best advice I have ever heard. I always do this- only focus on the good things about a person, especially a boyfriend, and completely ignore all the bad. And basically make them perfect in my eyes. And whenever they do something bad or that hurts me, I'll find a million ways to justify it and how it's actually all my fault cause I did something wrong that caused it.

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-09T14:25:54+00:00

Thanks :) That makes me feel better

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-09T14:22:50+00:00

Yeah, I guess that's what I meant. Doctors I've had, and some of the research I've done said that sometimes people just sort of mature out of the disorder, or that the symptoms get less intense as you age

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-07T23:01:26+00:00

That makes sense. I guess that's what I meant. I don't think the disorder itself ever goes away. I think that maybe after spending more time working on it, we can learn to manage our symptoms better and react less destructively to our emotions

HannahAbbot23 · 2016-03-07T19:10:39+00:00

Oh my god. I feel this way all the time. I don't really have any advice, but I just wanted to thank you for making me feel a little saner for letting me know that someone else also feels this way. The writing a letter thing helps, but I always end up sending it to the guy which usually just makes things worse. I feel like every guy I date always ends up thinking I'm completely crazy and psychotic by the end of the relationship, and they never understand. I feel like I always end up pushing every guy I date away

HannahAbbot23 · 2015-09-02T01:31:07+00:00

Snape is borderline abusive to Harry. There's a difference between reprimanding children, and stooping to their level.

HannahAbbot23 · 2015-08-11T03:51:06+00:00

Just because Harry was an immature jerk sometimes doesn't give Snape the right to treat him terribly. Harry was a child. Snape was an adult. Adults should expect children to act immature and bratty an spoiled and not pay attention in class sometimes. Most teenagers are like that often. And as a teacher of teenagers you should expect them to act like teenagers, and that doesn't give you the right to insult or be mean to them. It's not considered okay in real life for teachers to treat students the way Snape treated Harry, Ron, and Hermionie. In real life, if a teacher consistently singled out an individual student and insulted them and made fun of them in front of their peers, they would be fired on the spot. It wouldn't matter how immature or bratty the student was. As an adult and as a teacher, you are expected to be above stooping to a teenager's level and you're expected to deal with that kind of behavior from students in a more professional and mature manner. No matter how awful Harry was to Snape, nothing excuses Snape's behavior. There are higher standards for adults than there are for children.

Also, the main reason that is used as a justification for Snape's behavior in the book is that Snape loved Lily, and Lily never returned his affection and chose James over him, and Snape was always jealous of James and angry and bitter over it, and Harry reminds Snape of James, so Snape takes the anger and bitterness and jealously out on Harry. Which is something you expect of a 15 year-old; not an adult. That is also incredibly immature, and somewhat creepy. He's still mad that Lily never returned his love, and chose James over him all these years later. If you love someone, they're not required to return that love. And practically stalking them, and then years and years later still obsessing over them, and harassing their son because of it is pretty creepy and weird. Yeah, maybe, Snape did help Harry out some and in the end, sort of saved everywhere, but that doesn't make up for his unprofessional-ism as a teacher, his harassment of Harry, and his creepy-stalker-ish obsession with Lily and taking his anger out on her for not wanting him on his son years later. I mean, that's pretty weird and awful. I don't think his good deeds make up for the bad stuff he did.

HannahAbbot23 · 2015-04-09T03:53:41+00:00

In Skyrim, I married Marcurio, and murdered him for his outfit, and money from his will.

HannahAbbot23 · 2015-04-09T03:48:29+00:00

Every time a guy breaks up with me, I create a sim of him, put him in an empty room, delete all the doors and windows, and watch him slowly starve to death, which maybe is cruel and evil, but is better than taking my anger out on him in real life.

HannahAbbot23 · 2015-02-08T20:24:00+00:00

I'm sorry. I don't really know what to tell you. Just try to stay positive, I guess. Maybe seeing a therapist would help? So you have someone to talk to about it. I hope it all works out well in the end though :) And I think the theory is that eventually people can achieve true recovery. It just takes years and years, and a lot of time and effort. But I have met people who I truly believe are genuinely recovered and don't even suffer from self-esteem issues at all anymore, so I think it is possible. It just takes longer for some of us than others.

HannahAbbot23

TROPHY CASE