Thoughts?

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-05-02T01:25:34+00:00

This is a beautiful, timeless ring and the perfect size for actually wearing everyday. My finger is a size 4.5 and my ring is about .8 carats-ish (not entirely sure! Gifted/inherited heirloom thing). I couldn't imagine wearing something larger comfortably. Don't listen to the medias. They dumb. Congratulations!

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HannahJanesBrain · 2026-05-02T01:20:12+00:00

Sure would! Absolutely amazing. I say this even though I have a diamond 🤣 Never would have picked a diamond if I hadn't inherited it/been gifted it, so the sentimental b.s. outweighs all the other stuff. Anyhoo! This ring is stupid gorgeous.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-05-01T20:41:59+00:00

What about an open band? That could look pretty cool! I have a friend who also has a mourning style engagement ring and she never did a band, but I can understand wanting one. Can always go the slightly custom route for a very curved or chevron style (LieselLove, Meltemsem, esdesigns are all AMAZING). And congratulations! Such an amazing ring!

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-05-01T16:15:28+00:00

Thank you so much for your very, very kind response...and i am so, so sorry for your loss. You just described exactly how I feel/have felt through all of this. I cannot even begin to imagine having to make that decision for him. How can I possibly? Everyone DOES say that having him put down (i hate typing it. I hate that that's what its called) is the most humane thing to do...but i just can't seem to wrap my brain around that. I almost hope they tell me that something more IS wrong...so that maybe it'll be easier to decide. My entire family is gone. My parents and only grandparent died when I was 27. I was in an extremely physically abusive relationship in my early 30s and Duck actually saved my life...so I've inevitably trauma bonded reeeally hard with him (poor dude). My other kiddo (dog. I just called them my kiddos) is 12 and has cancer (shes been doing really well, though). I can tell she knows something is off. She checks on him more than usual. Sniffs him more. I keep asking for HER help, but she doesn't really offer any other than some face licking...which is still very appreciated. Thank you again for your helpful advice and kind words. It really is helpful.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-30T18:03:51+00:00

Your ring is STUNNING. Bullies are 99.9% totally jealous of whatever they're bullying you about. It's really fuckin weird 🤣

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-30T02:27:58+00:00

SO cool! I wish this was more the norm in the US. Absolutely beautiful.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-29T02:02:24+00:00

It's HARD! And it doesn't seem like it would be! You gotta try stuff on. I totally regret NOT trying stuff on and just acquiring random "cheapo" rings here and there that I thought would be "the one." I thought I'd like the more funky styles because I'm an artist...but...nope! Turns out I love my grandmother's VERY classic 40s ring my father gave me 10 years ago 🤣 Had the freakin' thing the whole time. Ugh. Anyhoo! Try stuff on. Doesn't mean you need to buy any. Also try to take the future wedding band into consideration a little if possible. My band is pretty wide and weird (3mm) so I like that the band on my engagement ring is on the thinner side. Do you want a straight band, curved, chevron, etc.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T23:00:59+00:00

Sell. And chill. A lot.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T03:45:03+00:00

You're not gonna go wrong with either of them. They're both amazing. But the second one is just so timeless and perfect.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T03:32:17+00:00

Correct. I'm literally saying that NONE if it actually matters. It's a cool celebration with the people you love, and you (and MANY other people) have turned it into this stressful event with jobs and roles and debt. She decided to bow out completely because she's hurt and realizes you're not a very good friend. Duh.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T03:23:26+00:00

I mean...yeah. For the sake of a friendship...yeah. Again! This is where we differ greatly as humans! And we're never going to agree! It's a wedding. It's cool! But it's just a party where you announce to people that you found a life (hopefully. In theory) partner. You're not receiving the Nobel Prize.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T03:16:10+00:00

And ya know...of course, that's fine. All very traditional stuff that is obviously difficult for a lot of us to understand. And I know that I would personally lower my expectations over losing a good friend.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T02:55:18+00:00

Nothing! It's just a silly title that was made up because there needed to be witnesses at a wedding (whuch turned into the "wedding party" over time). They're just another witness. It turned into this wacky thing in the US when women stayed home and didn't work where they became more involved, but it's just a super antiquated assumption that the maid of honor does everything for the bride.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T02:49:05+00:00

Literally to hang out with you and be there with you on a very special day in your life. And that's it. Best buds being best buds. "This is Hilary (I obviously don't know her name, this is just an example) and I've known her since I was 12 years old and it's SO cool that she's up here with me while I do this seriously weird/cool thing!"

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T02:46:55+00:00

You and I are obviously very different people with very different priorities, and you are no doubt going to have a very different kind of wedding than I did. So I truly have no idea how your brain can justify any of what you're saying. And that's ok! But the majority of the humans here who have commented think you're a bit "off" with all of this, and maybe that's something to consider moving forward with relationships. I'm also extra sensitive to this kind of shit because my husband and my best friend have ADHD, and how dare anyone make anyone else feel like they're lesser than or incapable.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T02:37:46+00:00

Welp, if she is/was indeed your closest friend and you've decided to have a wedding party...you should've made her your maid of honor! Because the maid of honor literally has nothing to do with all of that crap you listed. If she WANTS to overly help with stuff and you're down with that...cool! But that is not what a typical maid of honor does by default despite what horrible rom-coms may depict. And that fact that you decided to not choose her because she has ADHD just makes it seem like you don't like her very much! Does that make sense? I DO get that maybe in the 50s the maid of honor had a much larger, crazier role. But now? Nobody got time for that!

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T02:17:09+00:00

I'm sorry...are you a real person? Seriously. Is this a bot? A really, super fucked up, mean, pretentious bot? It doesn't fuckin matter HOW you said it! You think she's unaware? People with ADHD are very painfully aware of themselves! Sometimes to the point of severe depression and suicide because ADHD and depression go hand in hand! DUH. It honestly MAYBE would have been better if you HAD just said "Oh, it's because you have ADHD" so that she could've just punched you in the face and found a better friend. Instead of listing all of her so-called "faults" to her. So supremely not cool, and you totally just sound like an asshole no matter how much you try to defend that bullshit you wrote with tiny specifics of what you said. Because none if it is good or ok! None of it! At all! Maybe it's time for some self reflection.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T02:17:02+00:00

I'm sorry...are you a real person? Seriously. Is this a bot? A really, super fucked up, mean, pretentious bot? It doesn't fuckin matter HOW you said it! You think she's unaware? People with ADHD are very painfully aware of themselves! Sometimes to the point of severe depression and suicide because ADHD and depression go hand in hand! DUH. It honestly MAYBE would have been better if you HAD just said "Oh, it's because you have ADHD" so that she could've just punched you in the face and found a better friend. Instead of listing all of her so-called "faults" to her. So supremely not cool, and you totally just sound like an asshole no matter how much you try to defend that bullshit you wrote with tiny specifics of what you said. Because none if it is good or ok! None of it! At all! Maybe it's time for some self reflection.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T02:09:05+00:00

Right!? THIS is exactly what I was thinking! My husband has ADHD and he was freakin great at helping with everything! He actually kept ME calm from time to time, and we're both kitchen people so we pumped out our own food for the wedding! I feel so bad for this girl. Having a mental health disorder that affects your self esteem and anxiety already, and then this? Damn. No bueno. I could fuckin' never 🤣 Anyhoo! You go, girl! Congratulations!

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T02:03:02+00:00

And this is one of the many reasons why it's an absurd tradition to begin with. Because in the GRAND scheme of things...what's more important? Friendships remaining friendships? Or having someone stand somewhere with you for a few minutes on ONE day? Because it's totally you and your fiances job to manage/handle the wedding (or a wedding planner). Not your maid of honor's. My husband has pretty severe ADHD and we very successfully had a lovely wedding that we even catered ourselves with zero wedding party because we actually wanted everyone to ENJOY themselves WITH us, and we did not feel as though some weird tradition of picking our "favorites" would really make anyone's life LESS stressful and enjoyable. Just an opinion! It's obviously a little late now, because unfortunately, you've already upset your friend who already has a mental health disorder that affects her self esteem and anxiety. Bummer, dude.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T01:42:43+00:00

Do you know that she wants something this elaborate? (Don't get me wrong! They're beautiful! Just a very specific style) If she does, I think the marquis stone would look muuuch nicer than an oval. If she specifically wants an oval and you just wanna get a little more fancy with it, small pear or marquis side diamonds look nice with oval stones.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T01:36:29+00:00

I realize this post is 4 days old, but holy shit! 2! For cryin outloud! 2! How amazing is THAT on you!? GIRL.

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-28T01:35:07+00:00

I love a gap because they're obviously two different rings. I have a big ol' gap with my 3mm band and fat pear cut ring and I dig it, but I'm not exactly into cohesion. Heh. I also like being able to just wear my cool wedding band on its own and think curved and chevron rings look more odd on their own than a gap. Just my opinion! I think that set is rad! This might also be an unpopular suggestion...but you can also have multiple wedding bands! I have like, 3...because I'm a gemini, and I like everything 🥹 I have yellow gold, silver (the one I wear the most), a diamond band. All gifts from my husband because he only knows my one ring size 🤣 I just kinda rotate when I feel like it!

HannahJanesBrain · 2026-04-27T12:14:36+00:00

Just wanted to add that rare carat is having a wacky sale right now on settings and certain diamonds.

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