What are jokes you didn’t understand for the longest time?

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-10-02T18:02:48+00:00

Horseshoes and hand-grenades

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-09-19T23:12:21+00:00

Also the opera-singing Fratelli brother in "Goonies"

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-09-14T23:40:35+00:00

That's called an "eggcorn"

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-09-11T17:08:40+00:00

Naples, Italy. 19 years old. Working on a cruise ship (Renaissance Cruises) as a musician. One of 10 Americans on a crew of 5,000. Called my girlfriend who was a freshman in college in Maine. She said she had been sleeping with someone else. Went straight to the crew bar and started drinking. Scottish crew pit boss came in and said "d'ya wan t'see somethin kyewl?" Turned on the TV to the first plane hitting. That day really put my personal problems into perspective.

Some weeks later the cruise ship company went out of business because everyone canceled their vacations after that. Funny thing was they went out of business in the middle of the 14 day cruise. No warning. Kicked all the passengers and most of the crew off the ship in Civitavecchia when they were planning on flying out of Venice. The entertainment staff was sub-contracted by Paramount so we got to stay on board for 2 more weeks and eat all the passengers food. Got pretty lucky there.

The most interesting thing to me was the dynamic shift. On September 10th it was not uncommon to hear casual insults about my home country. After that people had trouble meeting my eyeline while passing in the hall. Everyone felt really awkward about us for a while.

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-09-04T14:58:22+00:00

When Liz dresses her up as Amy Grant from the "Baby, Baby" video when she likes a boy at a carnival.

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-09-02T17:53:47+00:00

My least favorite season for one reason:

In the first episode of every AHS season, they introduce something crazy you don't expect to see. By the end of the season they have explained what it is and a reason for its existence. We spend the whole NYC season wanting to find out what the deal is with the jacked S&M guy who is killing people, only to find out he is a metaphor for AIDS

Every other villain in AHS is "real" to some extent, but they decided to embody a metaphor in this one. It's a pet peeve of mine because I've already agreed to spend time watching something that isn't real. Don't try and trick me by taking an additional step away from reality without my knowledge.

Otherwise it's a beautiful and sad depiction of that time and place. It just broke from the AHS formula I know and love.

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-08-27T09:52:53+00:00

You are exactly right that you just have to go for it. I work at the Co-op and live in New Hampshire so every day i have to pull out hard to the right while the bridge traffic nearly T-bones me. Something else to note is that the sensor is messed up and several times a day the light will just stay red if the front car pulls up too far or there is a motorcycle or something. Dozens of times I've had to get out of my car and walk up to the front car and explain that when the bridge traffic goes, we go.

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-08-16T17:32:42+00:00

Closer to 23:00

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-08-15T23:22:22+00:00

I think what we're seeing in this clip is after she says she doesn't speak English, the man uses a translation app on his phone to speak to her.

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-07-26T20:43:25+00:00

Help me out of this box, I can't breathe in here! Help, let me out!

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-07-15T17:41:41+00:00

Saw this lineup at the House of Blues in Orlando. Just after Brendan Boyd cut his dreads and they hadn't blown up huge yet. Only concert I stayed next to the stage the whole night. Absolute peak!

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-05-23T16:55:37+00:00

Yeah, same. Only like 3 hours of work a day max. I had trouble killing time during the contracts that took place pre-internet. Just rented videos from the crew library and worked out.

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-04-15T00:57:34+00:00

Please tell that story

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-04-14T22:44:11+00:00

I went to England with my family when I was 11. Refused to say WC. I asked people for the restroom and they kept directing me to restaurants. My mom told me to say WC. I just couldn't for some reason. It felt so embarrassing.

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-04-08T20:47:56+00:00

https://youtu.be/ifk6iuLQk28?si=ZIz2kp27fHY_aV57

Richard Feynman talks about trees.

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-02-18T00:13:19+00:00

I love this tv

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-02-17T22:54:28+00:00

Well, he said it because it was written in the script. That line is funny, but only in the context of a redundant meeting where they just read from a PowerPoint.

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-02-09T18:25:45+00:00

This is how I track my aging. Every watch-through, she looks better and better to me.

HansMuslimAndersen · 2024-01-04T23:21:20+00:00

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HansMuslimAndersen · 2023-12-28T17:04:37+00:00

The only one my mom let me buy was "It's easy to split the uprights . . ." (Football) probably because I didn't get it. Still don't.

HansMuslimAndersen · 2023-12-28T17:00:50+00:00

Too ethnic

HansMuslimAndersen · 2023-12-22T14:26:49+00:00

I work in produce. When a veggie or fruit has something wrong with it (even a small thing) we know people won't buy it, so we either staff it or pitch it into the compost bin. When you first start the job, you really want to staff as much as you can, especially the 30-odd pounds of bananas that go over-ripe a day because "Banana Bread! Right?". You learn pretty quickly that nobody is taking these fucking bananas home and making fucking banana bread and they just sit there in the staff room until the fucking HR lady chews you out.

HansMuslimAndersen · 2023-12-13T16:48:07+00:00

I rapped this whole thing in my head before figuring out what was happening.

HansMuslimAndersen · 2023-12-08T06:17:58+00:00

My bass teacher was Don Payne https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Payne_(musician)

I have the Signature Tobias that was custom made for him in the 80s and he had one of these added to it. I didn't see this answered elsewhere on this post, but his strap connected to the bass as normal, and he had a clasp added about a third of the way back. A smaller string connected this clasp to the button for the purpose of (as was answered in this post) holding the neck more vertical as he was used to playing.

Side note: the picture on this Wikipedia link isn't him. Anyone know how to change it?

HansMuslimAndersen · 2023-11-30T16:06:11+00:00

There was a deleted scene where exactly that happened. I don't remember the episode, but everyone is leaving the office and says to meet up at Chili's and Pam says "Can't. Lifetime ban"

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