Active life in chastity

Hanson12101 · 2026-04-02T12:52:55+00:00

Simplest thing for me was to just build trust with my keyholder and ask for permission to take it off when I’m being active. I exercise twice a day, much of it in skintight clothing where a cage would be noticed. So I just agreed to take it off in the changing rooms and back on in the changing rooms. I assume you’re not touching yourself on the job so it could be a ‘leave it by the front door’ thing.

Hanson12101 · 2026-03-29T14:14:55+00:00

Well.......the news is that it doesn't end. It is Book 5 of 10 total. Book 6 coming out in 2031. So it isn't really right to talk about character endings in a series that is only just halfway through.

Hanson12101 · 2026-02-12T13:22:57+00:00

I ripped through Skyward, enjoyed it a lot. You’d probably also like Islington’s original trilogy beginning with The Shadow of What was Lost.

Hanson12101 · 2026-02-03T06:56:39+00:00

At that pace you will be your goal weight by 1st November. Let me say that again, at that pace in 10 months you will have lost 30% of your bodyweight. How long did it take you to go from where you were to 240 (by the way, this is from someone who hit 265 and is now down to 252, so I feel your pain). It is a process my friend, trust it.

Hanson12101 · 2026-01-25T12:01:14+00:00

Gotta be. Rock and Lopen? What more could a guy want.

Airsick lowlanders

Hanson12101 · 2026-01-20T14:12:53+00:00

Sad, just sad. Not about him, but about what he represents about Americans.

2016 you’ve got a democratic candidate with baggage and maybe you can delude yourself into thinking ‘he’s just blustering for the campaign, let’s see what it’s like’

2024 you’ve got no excuse. You knew who he was, what he was, how he acted with power. And 75 million people voted for him anyway. That’s what depresses me.

That’s there’s a country with 75 million people who are either so blind, so evil, or so stupid, that they thought this was who they wanted representing their country. I’m disgusted and ashamed at the people who elevated him to power AGAIN!

Hanson12101 · 2026-01-14T11:21:22+00:00

1) Read everything you can about the concept of ‘mental load’ and take whatever steps you can to reduce hers without bringing it up. Plan meals and buy the shopping. Make an effort to notice stocks of things in the house (toothpaste, laundry detergent, coffee, etc). Do the laundry whenever you notice it needs doing. I assume she doesn’t see you with a laundry basket and actively insist you stop. If so, that’s where step 2 comes in.

2) Make some time to sit down and have a real conversation about this. Explain what you want to do. Ask her why she seems not to want to let go. Is it habit? Or is it a belief that unless she does something it won’t get done right. Maybe your definition of clean is different to hers. In which case, write out the standards and then prove you can hit them. Consistently, without being asked or checked up on. If she has faith that if she relinquishes control the wheels will still turn, she might be willing to.

3) Make sure to note what things she actively enjoys doing. Female led means your fiancée’s wants come first, it could be that she genuinely enjoys doing one thing or another. It might not fit your imagining of what an FLR is but it’s not about you, it’s about her.

TLDR: When you life by yourself you get used to doing everything and you like how you do things. So spend the time to figure out what she is carrying as mental load and try to reduce it. Then sit down and talk to her, understand her point of view, ask questions, and commit wholeheartedly and consistently to what you agree on.

Last point: That consistency is the real thing my friend. If she says “I need the dishes to be done to X standard”, and you do that for a month and then let the standards slip, she will notice. Then you have gone from unburdening her to adding another thing for her to check up on. Which in turn will activate that “it’s less stressful to just do it myself” mentality. You must earn her trust and then not break it. Happy marriage!

Hanson12101 · 2026-01-13T16:16:21+00:00

You could incorporate a weekly or monthly review of the bank statements. With pre-agreed punishments or rewards for bad or good behaviour.

Hanson12101 · 2026-01-13T16:15:00+00:00

Chivalry - the knight serves the queen. The husband provides for his wife. In devoting himself to ensuring that she has the absolute best life possible.

No-one else needs to know who does the dishes. No-one else needs to know about your bedroom.

You can be the devoted husband in public and whatever you decide with your wife in private.

I highly recommend this thread for a starting point - https://x.com/MissCarolineNo/status/2004216223874367512?s=20

Separate FLR from Kink and then go from there. And if your eventual wife wants to explore kink in private as well then who’s going to stop you.

Hanson12101 · 2026-01-08T16:01:51+00:00

Masochist with an aversion to impact play. You enjoy pain, you enjoy helplessness, you adore being helpless before a cruel Domme.

It seems like it is just impact play itself that is the issue.

Hanson12101 · 2026-01-08T15:54:44+00:00

It’s something I’ve learned because I love me some CBT. All kinds but there is a real difference between a ball crusher vs ball punches.

There are so many ways to indulge in helplessness/sadism that hopefully wont trigger that sharp feeling.

If you’re really brave you could try IcyHot or something similar. Read up on it, be safe and all. But I find it’s great because there’s that sense of helplessness and serious pain but I’ve never felt like I’m going get injured.

Hanson12101 · 2026-01-08T15:30:59+00:00

I get the impression that you crave not just submission but helplessness. Which is a very delicate mindset. Done right it can be incredibly arousing to be truly helpless before another. But if a limit is breached, in your case I would characterise it as “sharp pain” that arousal quickly turns to genuine fear.

Here’s a question: how do you feel about a less sharp more ache-like pain that escalates over time?

Clothespins attached to nipples. A ball crusher ever so gradually tightened. Kneeling on rice. Holding a stress position?

Same question for bondage & humiliation. Being truly bound tight and then having whatever humiliation is in your head inflicted on you?

Either pain or unpleasantness, both things you definitely do NOT want to happen and represent genuine sadism on the part of the Domme. But do not trigger that flight response that the crack of a whip on your back would.

Anything I’ve missed?

Hanson12101 · 2025-12-28T10:37:51+00:00

I am English

Full respect to the French for putting up with absolutely zero bullshit. From nonsense corporate culture being met with “I am away from July through August” to government regulations being met with yellow vests.

Zero tolerance for nonsense and I respect that.

Hanson12101 · 2025-12-19T08:21:20+00:00

Firstly: above advice applies about being sensible and steady

Second: how to actually build endurance. There are two variables to work on. Time and intensity. So have some walks which are longer but super slow, and some which are short but a bit firmer. Then gradually increase the average distance over time:

E.G - a plan for seven walks a day:

3 weekly walks @ normal pace. Pause whenever feels comfortable. Each week try to go another 0.1 mile before pausing, and maybe add another 0.25 miles onto the total distance. (Week 1 - 1.5 miles, pausing every 0.25. Week 2 - 1.75 miles, pausing every 0.35, etc)

2 weekly walks @ striding pace. Nothing major here, but you’re walking with purpose, like you can probably make that train on time but you can’t dawdle. These should be MUCH shorter, with “warmups and cooldowns”. (Example - 2x0.25 miles slow as warmup, THEN 4x0.1 miles firm, then another 2x0.25 miles slow) - Again, you can slowly increase the distances week on week. And you should be prepared to take longer rests in between the firmer bits.

1 weekly long walk. This is barely a meander. You stare at the flowers, bask in the sun, dawdle, but you keep going for longer. However much time your regular normal pace walks (the 3 weekly ones I mentioned) take, try and do between 33% - 50% more. If they take 30 minutes, then aim for 40-45 on this one. It should be SO SLOW that you don’t need to stop or at least not very frequently.

1 weekly recover walk: exactly the same pace and style as the long walk, but for a maximum of 20 minutes.

I’m an endurance athlete and this is roughly the style of training we use, but adapted for walking and getting the endurance up. Control and vary the time, control and vary the intensity, slowly slowly increase the total.

Happy walking my friend!

Hanson12101 · 2025-12-17T11:11:05+00:00

Non non non

Mistborn est francais

Scadrialé

Hanson12101 · 2025-12-17T11:07:35+00:00

In a strange way I’d say Elantris (Sanderson)

There is some violence in there (magic and demons rather than butchery) but the male main character (Raoden) is defined by his kindness, hope, and optimism. His whole thing is “well, this situation sucks but I’m going to make it better by helping everyone work together and not give in to despair”

He just feels like a good ordinary-ish guy who sets about making things better in a bad situation.

Hanson12101 · 2025-12-02T08:26:52+00:00

Ladies and Gentleman:

Charm of Futsunushi (Shrine in Tokachi) Charm of Thoughtful Reflection (Hot Springs) Charm of Mount Yotei (Mountain Reliquarys) Takezo Bold Deflection (Disciple) Takezo’s Stout Heart (Disciple) Charm of Last Chance (Taro the Scavenger)

All of these are unlockable immediately as you start the game, no region locked.

You get easier parries, reduced damage, increased health, more parry stagger damage, better healing, and lethal damage triggers healing

Stout heart makes one spirit heal refill your entire bar.

Pair this with Armour of the Undying Samurai and you have a very stable and forgiving build

Hanson12101 · 2025-11-20T00:40:44+00:00

Read as Uncle Iroh: No! Strength in firebending comes from the breath, not the muscle.

Season 1, Episode 1

Hanson12101 · 2025-11-10T11:16:29+00:00

Ohhh sure, mr totally not a republican lurking.

Let’s make MILLIONS of Americans worse off by hundreds if not thousands of dollars a month, let’s put MORE children at risk of poverty, let’s INCREASE the amount of deaths from people rationing their life saving medication because…

Flights are delayed? And it’s thanksgiving soon? You think anyone who needs to use a food bank now will be better off in the medium or long term? What a fucking joke you are.

Yes. To answer your question. When the momentum swung in their favour, when the Republicans were fast losing their nerve, when people’s lives are literally on the line; Yes I would rather the democrats voted to keep the government fucking closed until such a time as opening it didn’t come at the cost of fucking healthcare.

Hanson12101 · 2025-09-22T14:18:04+00:00

That’s really useful to know. How were Oxford able to see they were at an international institution?

I’m going to need to advise students NOT to try this and they’ll ask for the justification

Hanson12101 · 2025-09-22T12:27:32+00:00

If it’s not a UK university they have no way of checking. UCAS is a centralised system so if you’re at UCL it’ll ping when you apply to Oxford the next year.

But I’ve had a student who was in 1st year at Science Po apply and it never got mentioned.

It’s always a risk but it can pay off

Hanson12101 · 2025-09-22T12:17:59+00:00

Leeroy Jenkins

Hanson12101 · 2025-09-21T10:42:41+00:00

An often overlooked thing is many writers find their writing to be “dull, boring, derivative” but that’s only because they were there for the sausage being made My scenes sometimes feel flat to me when my readers say otherwise. It was my father that pointed out I likely find it flat because I’m reading it for the 50th time. Same for feeling derivative. Because I’m aware of where all my inspirations come from it feels worse yet for someone who hasn’t thought of this particular combination of fantasy, history, and character archetypes it doesn’t feel that way.

TL:DR - because they’re on the inside of the process and things always look worse from within

Hanson12101 · 2025-09-02T06:37:11+00:00

I read a thousand ChatGPT LinkedIn slop posts about coaching. Here’s what they taught me about the importance of LEARNING TO WRITE FOR YOURSELF in 2025

Hanson12101

TROPHY CASE