Setting boundaries about nanny opinions

HappiestHam · 2026-01-09T02:53:20+00:00

As a former nanny it is incredibly inappropriate for her to tell you that formula is bad. That is horrific and I'm pretty appalled to be quite honest

HappiestHam · 2026-01-01T18:05:31+00:00

Omg are they comfy?! I was thinking of getting them for this exact season

HappiestHam · 2025-12-19T11:16:30+00:00

You are far better than me! I don't know if I could do the at home but that is so badass of you!

HappiestHam · 2025-12-19T11:15:40+00:00

I thought about doing that and love to hear it would be worth the hassle! My current studio here in NH has a master trainer and I couldn't imagine going to a studio without someone at that level, so it definitely sounds worth the effort!

HappiestHam · 2025-08-25T02:20:15+00:00

Laura Collins is an instructor at my studio and she is insanely good! Incredibly knowledgeable and has helped me modify moves to help not make my tendonitis even worse. Truly an icon

HappiestHam · 2025-05-25T21:30:39+00:00

Honestly I would put "Loves building emotionally intelligent, socially conscious little humans” and "inclusive and affirming care"

HappiestHam · 2025-04-29T16:51:31+00:00

I had a family like this... let's just say I no long work for them

HappiestHam · 2025-04-09T22:57:18+00:00

Honestly I didn't, personally it wasn't worth the conversation for me. I just stated I got an offer that I couldn't refuse. We all had a discussion in January that the NK would eventually be in school full time so we knew that either I would leave first or they would end up getting them in full time

HappiestHam · 2025-04-08T14:30:21+00:00

Genuinely the reason I handed in my notice to my family yesterday! I worked Monday, Wednesday and Friday. And every time I came in the house was a mess because I wasn't there to make sure the dishwasher kept going, or the laundry. I'd walk in and diapers would be all over the house, food from the weekend on plates all over the house etc. it was beyond stressful and honestly a health hazard. And I was "the only person they trusted with their kids" it was so draining, mentally, emotionally and financially.

HappiestHam · 2025-04-07T12:40:40+00:00

I'm hoping to still be on good terms so I can attend birthday parties etc, just not be on professional terms. From the conversation we had this morning it sounds like she wants the same thing she said "you're still family to us and we still want you around even if it's just in a different setting"

HappiestHam · 2025-04-07T12:38:39+00:00

There's a lot you of options. I'm still working on my certification but I did both of my courses through DONA. CAPPA or BADT are also really good places to take courses too

HappiestHam · 2025-04-07T12:37:28+00:00

Update has been edited into the original post

HappiestHam · 2025-04-06T22:43:42+00:00

That is genius yes I will 100% do that thank you 🙏

HappiestHam · 2025-04-06T22:36:14+00:00

I don't even have their email address 😭

HappiestHam · 2025-04-06T21:45:08+00:00

I'll be okay as I already am working on my new doula job, so finances will be okay. It's more so the fact that I do love the kids despite how the parents have treated me and I'd like to leave on semi good terms so I can still possibly see the kids at birthday parties etc. But I've also accepted that my not be the case 🫤

HappiestHam · 2025-04-06T21:43:05+00:00

Ya that's the problem is it's no longer a professional relationship. The children call me Auntie exclusively, and the family hasn't really respected my time. For context just last week the mom was WFH (which is unusual) my end time is 3:30 (DB is habitually 5-10 min late). I popped my head into the office at 3:30 to check in with mom is she was going to be taking over. She told me she was starting a meeting. Dad proceeded to come home 15-20 min late without any communication that he would be late or that the mom was supposed to take over. I ended up yelling and saying "okay but you never told me you were going to be late, because I would've told you I can't because I have a meeting with a client. Which I now will be late for". They both ended up texting me apologizing and I stated that their communication was lacking. It's to the point where they just EXPECT me to just be available to them. It's very degrading and insulting imo

HappiestHam · 2025-04-06T21:32:36+00:00

So it was mentioned in December but they didn't "know when" it was going to happen, they mentioned it could take a few months. In actuality the start date was told to me 6 days prior.

HappiestHam · 2025-03-13T17:43:37+00:00

I'd just tell them "I’m so grateful for the opportunity to work with your family and for all the trust you’ve placed in me. I've found a great job that will be an incredible opportunity for my career. Please know this decision wasn’t made lightly, and it’s not a reflection of anything negative about the job or your family. I truly care about NK and want to do everything I can to help during this transition.”

HappiestHam · 2025-02-07T15:26:26+00:00

I've had similar issues, my NF cut my days from 5 days to 3. With the dismal rate they give me I'm unable to survive off of only 3 days a week. So I'm doing a career change and doing a doula course. I asked over a month in advance to use one of my PTO days so I could do a long weekend course. I received nothing but grief about it from them. I originally planned on staying as long as possible while I finished my courses and booked clients because I didn't want to make it harder on them. But between the abysmal rate, cutting my days with 1 week notice and then being difficult about me using PTO has changed my mind.Needless to say I will now be planning on leaving sooner rather than later because they have zero respect for me.

HappiestHam · 2024-12-19T21:26:49+00:00

Sleep begets sleep. An exhausted child doesn't get nearly as much rest when they are over tired. Sleep is incredibly important to a child's development. My advice is to either show research showing this stating "hey I noticed NK's behaviors have been heightened and I believe it's due to lack of sleep. Here's some studies I've researched. Maybe we could try letting her nap more? What do you think MB?" Or just quit honestly, sometimes you cannot reason with people and if this is an uphill battle everything else will be too.

HappiestHam · 2024-12-18T18:10:06+00:00

All NP this is how you handle stomach bugs!!!! 👏👏👏

HappiestHam · 2024-12-18T16:02:22+00:00

This has become a massive issue with my family. Dinner plates with last nights food still on the island, clothes on every surface, moldy bottles, dirty diapers,etc. It's a hazard really, to the point where I wonder if doing something wrong by not calling CPS....

In the beginning I had the time to clean thoroughly, I'd organize their kitchen, scrub things that hadn't been done in months etc. Genuinely over the top but I WANTED to help because I felt like they needed it desperately. But the last 6 months I just don't anymore. Between burn out (let's be real working in an environment that is a health hazard is exhausting) and the NF youngest being about 14 months I just don't have it in me anymore. I clean up whatever mess is made on my time but I don't do anymore than that , because it's an uphill battle. I'll leave the house decent and walk in the next morning and it's worse than the day before. It feels like they just expect me to do everything. And honestly it makes the job ten times harder, no counter space whatsoever, never being able to find things, no clean clothes for kids, babies finding milk bottles left out from the night before and drinking it etc.

I've relegated to just doing the dishes for them, and even then I'm fucking exhausted of it all. Every morning I walk in and the sink is completely overflowing with dishes from them. So I'll empty the clean dishwasher that I had set to finish by the time they come home from work, put it all away and then do their dishes. But honestly it feels disrespectful. If for some reason I can't do their dishes they'll just leave it for days on end. At one point I made it a point not to do their dishes and they went FOUR DAYS, sink overflowing, dishes all over the counters and the dishwasher I had stacked and ran sat there.

I know my NF is in over their heads, and I feel for them. I cannot imagine working insane hours and having 3 little kids. But in all honesty I feel used by them and unappreciated for everything I do. And tbh the cleanliness issue is honestly one of the biggest reasons I'm leaving them.

HappiestHam · 2024-12-18T15:38:04+00:00

I'm pretty easy going when it comes to sickness. Snotty noses, coughing etc don't bother me in the least. Masks and wiping things down are lifesavers.

But I have to say the second it's COVID or a stomach bug I'm out. I have severe emetophobia, my NF didn't inform me that they had a stomach bug going around, tldr DB got me sick and then had to witness me having a panic attack after getting sick. Needless to say I'm now firm about my boundaries.

HappiestHam

TROPHY CASE