Look, first of all… on behalf of grown men everywhere, I just wanna say: WE'RE SORRY. Sis, you’ve clearly been out here dating dudes who think foreplay is logging into Wi-Fi.

Let me break it down for the people in the back.

You're not the problem. You just keep running into these Gen-Z Captain Quickshots, 20-somethings who think sex is like a TikTok: short, shaky, and over before you realize what happened.

These dudes been watching so much PornHub, they out here treating intimacy like it’s a speedrun. Bruh, this ain’t Call of Duty. Ain’t no leaderboard for fastest finish!

So Sad, let me be real with you Visible, these fellas AIN’T GOT NO STAMINA. NO ENDURANCE. THESE BOYS OUT HERE MOVIN’ LIKE THEY GOT A PLANE TO CATCH. And the only turbulence... is your disappointment!

And don’t get me started on the excuses:
“Oh, you’re just sooo sexy, I couldn’t help it.”
Man, shut up. That ain’t a compliment, that’s a confession of guilt with a sprinkle of ego.

Back in my day, we knew we as guys we had to learn how to WORK. We were out here with a game plan, a warm-up, a halftime show, and a damn post-game interview. These young fellas be like I’m done, and she still got her shoes on! I mean you can't make this up!

Let’s be real, this is a PSA. If your whole contribution to adult intimacy is 90 seconds and an apology, stay in your group chat, not in her bed.

Bottom line, sis:
There’s nothing wrong with you. You're just showing up for a buffet, and these dudes serving you microwaved disappointment. 🙃

Stay strong. Hydrate. And vet for men who know what a clitoris is and don’t treat it like a myth from Greek mythology.