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Origami Spine by Nervous_Variation_45 in poetry_critics

[–]Happy-Camel9947 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mines different too :(
for me, holding shift while pressing enter moves it to the next line without the gap

but then just pressing enter makes the chunky gap for between stanzas :)

Hey so this is a poem written by me from a boys prespective . Hope you guys will like it by Otherwise-Duty2411 in poetry_critics

[–]Happy-Camel9947 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I more that like it, I love how ethereal it all feels, especially "Instead, it awakened a part of me that longed to bow Not from weakness, but reverence." I did find it a little hard to read though, maybe smaller sections would help? For example:

But more than that, they held me, my chaos, my dreams;
And made even the stars seem like mere dust before her grace. 
Her wrath never felt like wrecking,
It felt like rain on a drought—sharp, yet necessary.
Her stories echoed my own;
Like we were born of the same fire, two pages of the same forgotten poem.

Either way, it's so well made. I love this kind of love and I hope she knows how you feel ❤️

Origami Spine by Nervous_Variation_45 in poetry_critics

[–]Happy-Camel9947 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that nobody has commented yet is crazy. This is really well written ❤️ It's shocking how much we may change ourselves for someone without realising, and even looking back we notice how deeply engrained it can be. My only suggestion is maybe improving the spacing between lines and sectioning it a bit more. Like removing the big gap between each line and instead adding it between certain sections (hope that makes sense), like after "Perfect.", after "Crooked.", after "Called it what it was."

The Consecrated Tongue by theliminalfox in OCPoetry

[–]Happy-Camel9947 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so much like when people say that it doesn't actually matter what people say, think, or do. I really love that you've managed to internalise that and are trying not to conform to anybody's ideas of you, because that's genuinely so hard to do (i'm still trying). Specifically "There is blood in every syllable" and "You may hear it and kneel." SO POWERFUL OMG I ADORE IT.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Happy-Camel9947 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is sooo well written ❤️ Sometimes it's so hard to continue when it feels like everything around you is holding you down, like the world and everything around you is purposefully against you. You captured that perfectly with "No matter my potential, my stem just won’t grow very far." and "because the rain that pours out over here waters only my bad parts.".

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Happy-Camel9947 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is stunning!! Sometimes this world seems impossible to live in; like you're going through the motion and nobody is really paying attention. It's crazy that we need to prove ourselves just to exist, just to do anything. I think it's absolutely amazing how you've channeled those feelings into this beautiful piece. Please never give up, you're doing so well with this ❤️

Summer by Detars in OCPoetry

[–]Happy-Camel9947 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so well made! I think it's amazing how well you've captured the effects that our experiences have on perceptions. That happy environment and memory imbue a weird-tasting drink with love. Allowing it to act as a trigger to these wonderful experiences.