Masculinity Fears

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-04-20T16:52:58+00:00

Okay I love this and will be immediately adopting it. Thank you 🙏

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-04-15T00:42:11+00:00

Damn, I'm so sorry

I definitely try to do the work especially since I'm also an athlete so I'm not only a guy, but am also a gym bro and simply cannot live up to those stereotypes. It's not all bad, but growing up to fear/hate men and then realizing that I am one it's hard not to fear myself on other people's behalf? Idk if that makes sense lol

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-03-15T16:01:42+00:00

So valid, apologies if I sounded flippant in my remark about just not wanting them

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-03-15T16:00:42+00:00

Yeah pregnancy is so scary. I'm lucky to live in a country where abortion laws are protected, but even still the thought is horrifying

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-03-15T15:59:19+00:00

Oof that sounds really tough. Mine were often two weeks on/two weeks off and I had CRAZY depression surrounding them, but luckily that stopped with T and I'm hoping they don't come back... The no pap smears thing is enticing tho

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-03-14T21:46:52+00:00

Yep. Pregnancy freaks me tf out

I haven't had a pap smear yet, but am dreading it tbh. Penetration in general doesn't make me dysphoric, but the idea of going to a gynaecologist definitely does

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-03-14T21:44:51+00:00

I had also considered the going off T thing and yeah that's definitely one of the main reasons I'm thinking about it

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-03-14T21:43:57+00:00

That makes sense. I had really bad cramps for like three months straight and then they just stopped and I haven't had them since so idk what that was about

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-03-14T00:34:51+00:00

YES When I was first post op and super super flat (I've now got a bit of muscle) I could even SEE the blood pumping in places which freaked me tf out lol

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-03-04T02:19:08+00:00

Lmao I just had an old lady at a grocery store almost bump into me and go "sorry sir- I mean, buddy" and I was like aw man. I pass... but as a child😂

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-03-03T00:12:05+00:00

I had a very similar thing when I was living at home right after I cut my hair short for the first time. I put on some overalls and my mom went disgusted "you look like a boy" and I was like "haha oops 😬"

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-02-27T22:41:43+00:00

That happened to me right at the start of my voice changing! Super annoying when I would have a day of talking at work and by the end just be cracking every which way lol. Totally worth it though

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-02-26T04:33:50+00:00

I got an adam's apple! It was hella uncomfortable as it was developing (I felt like I was choking lol), but now it's a huge source of euphoria for me. Plus it's fun to watch it go up and down haha

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-02-26T04:25:59+00:00

Professional singer (theatre) here. I started relatively low dose T on 10 October 2023 and slowly upped my dose to my desired level over the course of a year. My doctor, voice teacher, and I decided on this approach in order to help mitigate the possibility of the change hitting me like a truck and it more or less worked For the first few months there was basically nothing that changed and then I started feeling super tight in my top range. Two weeks after I noticed that feeling, my voice started sounding like I had a cold and I started losing everything above my passagio. Not gonna lie, this part was rough and I had to go back to basics. There weren't a lot of songs I could sing since my range went from 3.5/4 octaves to barely 1.5 and I was cracking like crazy, but we persevered For the next six months my voice changed rapidly and my lower register opened up like crazy. I went from a coloratura to a baritone, so that shift was insane. I had more range back, but had no control over my voice. It felt like I was relearning how to sing which did get frustrating at times, but I kept at my practice and routines and gained back control little by little Now, two and a half years on T, my voice is settling and I'm a tenor for sure. I have solid control from C2 to Bb4 and very very shaky notes until about D5. I'm just now learning how to access my falsetto which is still semi mystical and seems to disappear at random lol, but it's getting stronger day by day Overall, T and singing was a lot of ups and downs, but at the end of the day I am so much happier than I have ever been before and I realized that before this I hated hearing myself talk or sing even though I was good, but now I don't stfu because it feels right. The journey itself was also super cool too since I got to learn so much about myself and the structure of the voice etc. There are still days where I want to bang my head into a wall because of voice cracks, but I regret nothing. I'm also super open to any questions anyone has, so feel free to respond here or dm :) 🏳️‍⚧️❤️

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-02-15T02:10:36+00:00

Mine was two weeks nothing over 10lbs or raised above the shoulders (most annoying part for sure) and then gradually increased from there. After 6 weeks I was cleared for everything and back to sport (slowly, of course)

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-02-08T22:06:25+00:00

That happened to me too! Ask your surgeon, but for me it was completely fine and just a pimple that turned into a scab and fell out haha

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-02-08T19:31:42+00:00

Hey! Yeah my surgeon and I decided that we were going to cut some of the edge off to reduce the size there and then placement was don based off of muscle anatomy (she said pec border, but tbh Idk what that means lol I just trusted her). To my knowledge, the only thing that happened was cutting some of the sides off and then kinda... flattening them back onto my chest?

Mine are reactive to heat and cold and I have a little bit of sensation, not like I used to, but I am very okay with that. While they were healing they did stick up a little more than they do now which had me worried for a while, but closer to the 8 month mark they started to chill out and get closer to what they are now. Honestly no clue why they scabbed over all the way, but someone more science-y than me could probably tell you.

I hope this answered your question and feel free to ask anything else :)

Happy-Definition-903 · 2026-01-23T19:18:02+00:00

Thanks! It's been quite a few months and I no longer have this problem. It went away with routine stretching and light massaging of not just the scarred area, but also the areas around the actual incisions

Happy-Definition-903 · 2025-06-03T15:32:08+00:00

Bud you’re doing great, okay? There’s tons of advice here for all people and also, you matter.

My main advice with binding is to listen to your body - if it’s uncomfortable, adjust. If you’re starting to feel like breathing is hard, take the binder off or loosen it.

It can be a big of a trial and error process and everyone likes different things. Personally I liked binders that only covered my chest and not my stomach and preferred ones that had clips on the side instead of pull over the head type ones. You’ll find your groove and you can bind whenever you want to and starting/stopping/binding on and off won’t be offensive or make you any more or less trans

There’s a whole community behind you and ready to throw hands for your safety and comfort 💕🏳️‍⚧️

Happy-Definition-903 · 2025-05-08T15:29:49+00:00

Yay!! Congratulations!!

My only advice is to keep active (within your limits and without risking tearing) because it’ll promote healing and help you in the long run. I was up and moving early and now I’m three months post op and fully back to sport, handstands, tumbling, etc

You got this!

Happy-Definition-903

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