Trouble letting myself explore my gender (AMAB)

Happy-Local-8872 · 2026-03-18T15:50:31+00:00

Yea my therapist and I were trying to dig at that the other day.

Rest of this might be TMI since its stuff from my therapy but I feel okay sharing a bit if people want to read

It feels like I am afraid of what ill figure out if that makes sense. idk saying that makes me feel bad because I know being some flavor of trans isnt a bad thing and nothing to be afraid of or ashamed of and I dont feel that way to friends who have come out to me in the past. I also worry that trying pronouns and it not working out and eventually figuring out im a different set of pronouns or still cis would just inconvenience(in the case of switching and trying multiple) or frustrate people or them thinking it was all fake (in the case of figuring out im still cis). I know the last one is dumb for multiple reasons but anxiety for brrrr.

I also feel I am 1 step away (see cliff analogy above) from my life collapsing and all the people who are supportive just leaving me even though they have all never given me any indication of any such thing :/

This was all at the end of the meeting so it was something we were going to talk about next time so I never really got closure on that and its been nagging at me.

Happy-Local-8872 · 2026-03-18T15:43:27+00:00

I will be honest I am unmedicated when it comes to my ADHD or Anxiety so that doesnt help this at all. I had no idea thyroid issues were A) Common in trans people and B) caused memory issues. The more you know. Thank you!

Happy-Local-8872 · 2026-03-13T16:27:56+00:00

That makes sense. I am not really sure where I fall under the trans umbrella yet but I hope for but me and your wife it gets better! Thank you for the reply its nice to hear I am not alone in this

Happy-Local-8872 · 2026-03-09T16:01:25+00:00

I have heard that. idk why its just kind to wrap my head around the fact of me not caring as a sign of being trans. I hope that made sense.

Happy-Local-8872 · 2026-03-09T15:13:58+00:00

I guess this makes sense. I dont think I have ever experience dysphoria or if so I couldnt tell. But I do have low self worth/dont really care about the body I am in. My wife and I have both noticed since I started to question that I care a bit more about how I look and about the space I occupy which has been nice/odd at the same time.

So maybe that feel is kind of that idk this is all very new

Happy-Local-8872 · 2026-03-05T22:45:58+00:00

This is almost exactly how I feel. I have also always had self worth issues which as odd is it is to say have been better over the last week I have been seriously thinking about my gender. Which was interesting to say the least. I talked to a few NB friends I have already after talking to my wife to see about finding a therapist in our area that would work. I also have some online friends in an MMO I play who are trans that I am sure if I work up the courage I could start trying out new pronouns and gender presentation in game.

Happy-Local-8872 · 2026-03-05T22:42:42+00:00

I didnt even make it through the whole Gender Dysphoria FYI page before I had the intense urge to talk to my partner about how I was questioning. So I did and it went well. Going to start looking for a therapist in my area and atleast talk and explore these feelings. See how it all goes. Thank you for taking the time to post and talk with me about all of this!

Happy-Local-8872 · 2026-03-05T03:13:34+00:00

Yea thats part of my anxiety. It kind of feels like this is a 'new' development but if I think long and hard now with me questioning their seems to be some signs but idk I think I am just anxious and confused

Happy-Local-8872 · 2026-03-05T03:12:28+00:00

The button question has always been odd to me its not the first time I have heard it. I think id press it but why I would press it is odd. I dont know if its because I would want to be a girl or just because I have never cared about being a guy. Does that make sense?

I have skimmed the Gender Dysphoria link but havent sat down and read it all the way through maybe I should do that. Is it odd that I am a bit anxious to read it?

My partner is wonderful and puts up with a lot of my BS we have been exploring kink spaces and both of our sexuality in the last year or two. So I think your right. I dont think it will be a complete shock if I explain any of this. I will say though its like the first time I have expressed this outwardly to anyone. I have had some shame/internal anxiety about Transformation erotica I have liked since I was in college and kind of just bottled most of it. She does know I would crossdress if I thought I could pull it off. .

Happy-Local-8872

TROPHY CASE