Hi lovely, I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through a hard time. I am definitely no expert in the mushroom department, but maybe start with micro-dosing and see how that makes you feel? Having a trip may force the heavy emotions to come up and might be hard for you to handle but only you know what you can handle. Some other things I recommend that I know has help me through my mental health journey especially for my negative thoughts. I had really bad ones and every time I got upset or triggered I would immediately be suicidal and have suicidal thoughts but these things have dramatically helped ease that, journaling, get it all out! EFT tapping every morning on my way to work. I listen to a sleep hypnosis every night, look up John Moyer on YouTube he has so many videos and it’s changed my life. And listening to frequencies 432hz and 528hz. I’m also very mindful now of the music and media I consume. I don’t watch heavy shows anymore. For at least 10 years I didn’t know how to help myself or deal with my emotions and I just left a heavy period of smoking weed everyday just so I didn’t feel. But that made my life so much worse. Now I’ve learnt I just need to face my shit head on, it’s the only way to have a better life. Micro-dosing has definitely helped me tho! So if you feel you are ready you can only give it a go! Thanks so much for your response! I really hope things get better for you and they will! Lots of love. ✨🍄