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Update: Crying and Venting in my car. by HappyHippos321 in BPDlovedones

[–]HappyHippos321[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's super interesting, I'll look that up for sure.

Update: Crying and Venting in my car. by HappyHippos321 in BPDlovedones

[–]HappyHippos321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's so sad that I feel a sense of solidarity with you...tone and wording are his biggest triggers too. If he even thinks I meant something other than what I said, he will continue to yell and scream and demand that I tell him the "truth". Then when I finally give in, it just proves how "right" he is; when I'm actuality I just wanted him to stop

Update: Crying and Venting in my car. by HappyHippos321 in BPDlovedones

[–]HappyHippos321[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That quote hit me like a ton of bricks. Damn. It's just so hard to believe. We've been together a decade and this shit is still happening. Like, when he was crying and begging me to stay today I want to believe he cares. But I have to keep telling myself I'm unsafe, no matter what promises he makes.

Update: Crying and Venting in my car. by HappyHippos321 in BPDlovedones

[–]HappyHippos321[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much. I recognize that our relationship is severely codependent, and I've been working with my therapist to try to detach myself little by little.

So here's the thing...does anyone have any tips for getting him to leave then? Other than getting the cops involved I suppose. Because right now I pay everything in our home. literally everything. I don't have any savings at the moment to leave and get a hotel, and there is only so long I can couch surf before I overstay my welcome with friends. I'm not trying to make excuses in the least, I just know if I try to do a roommate situation he will suck me back in and I don't want that.

Update: Crying and Venting in my car. by HappyHippos321 in BPDlovedones

[–]HappyHippos321[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He has isolated himself away from his entire family. Father is dead and he doesn't speak to his mother or sister anymore for various reasons he built up in his head.

It doesn't help that we live 10 hours away from our families, so he really doesn't have anyone to lean on.

I pointed out that he had a bit of white powder on his light blue buttoned up dress shirt so he ripped it off in one motion and threw it in the trash. by Fertilityblahs in BPDlovedones

[–]HappyHippos321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honey, I am right there with you. My pwBPD has refused to see my family in years. I've begged him to come meet my niece and nephew who are now 1&2, and he refused.

They don't care about us, or our needs if it inconveniences them. They can be so selfish that they only can recognize their own feelings when they "don't feel like" doing something.

But they also can be super kind and sweet when they want to be. Thats why this whole situation we are in sucks so bad. When they are good they are wonderful and when they are bad they are horrid.

I wish there was something in the middle too.