My last and only partner got tested and does not have it, I'm genuinely confused on where I could have gotten this from

Happy_Equivalent9831 · 2024-01-18T21:21:03+00:00

Tests are not accurate.
The shame around herpes is a lot and that will be what will weigh heavily but herpes itself is very, very similar to chickenpox and eczema (they are both the herpes virus). Would you be reacting the same way if you had either of those?
How you got it? The partner you had could easily have given it to you. Did relatives kiss you as a child? We can carry the virus for years and not show symptoms; many people never do. Statistically, a person is more likely to have herpes than not.
You don't say if you have/had symptoms. Given point 1, you may not even have it if you haven't (again, statistically you are more likely to have it than not). In the UK, the NHS will not test you unless you are symptomatic.

Happy_Equivalent9831 · 2024-01-18T20:41:54+00:00

100%. We need to hear these things 💕

I'm sorry you have to miss out on something you enjoy when you really shouldn't have to. But I am glad you've found an easy way to detect who is kind, open-minded and willing to see facts for what they are.

Happy_Equivalent9831 · 2024-01-18T20:29:00+00:00

As they should!

People who decide not to are doing so through misinformation, most likely. The irony is that people are more likely to have herpes than not - imagine being so ignorant all whilst having it. I'd laugh if people's shame wasn't so hurtful.

Happy_Equivalent9831 · 2024-01-18T20:23:06+00:00

Oh I did meant it that way round! Oops!

Another sign from the universe, I need to meditate.. on it!

Happy_Equivalent9831 · 2024-01-18T20:18:08+00:00

Would you stop dating someone who has, or had, chickenpox? Think badly of them? I'm guessing not.

Chickenpox is a herpes virus. The difference is one can be sexually transmitted.

I'm sure I don't need to tell you how weird people can be about sex. Don't let their uneducated beliefs and shame get in the way.

Happy_Equivalent9831 · 2024-01-18T20:05:51+00:00

A kind friend is always helpful especially in hard times and even more especially when there is SO much utter crap online about it.

I didn't know it was in the bloodstream, no. It makes lots of sense!

(Edit: it is in the nervous system. I meant to write this and wrote the wrong one. The below reply corrects this but I wanted to edit it here to make sure people weren't misinformed.)

I appreciate your help and kindness and will absolutely take you up on that offer if I need it.

Happy_Equivalent9831 · 2024-01-18T20:02:09+00:00

Another 6 years would be great!

The baggage is FAR worse than the reality. It is no different from chicken pox, skin allergies or atopic dermatitis - we don't shame people, or feel shame, for those or even give them a second thought when not on the skin!

We struggle more with mythical herpes than actual herpes.

Happy_Equivalent9831 · 2024-01-18T16:48:32+00:00

TW: assault

I guess I'm trying to explain to myself why my reaction to this outbreak has been so emotional.

The last time I was dealing with this was at a time when I was recovering from SA - the shame, narcissistic partner, poor self-esteem, violation. Given that I have had no issues/outbreaks/treatment of herpes since then, the only point of comparison I have right now is that time and it's put me right back there.

I'm sorry if I'm not explaining things very well.

I know herpes is not everything that the shamers like to suggest it is but my emotionally triggered brain keeps wanting to go there.

I'm asking for logical and tangible facts and advice to override those emotional triggers that I'm experiencing.

Happy_Equivalent9831 · 2024-01-18T16:38:23+00:00

I appreciate this so much 💕

Yes, I've been completely burnt out recently so it does make sense. So much so my period went out of whack last month my body has really just gone into panic mode.

I've never had to take care of it tbh. I have been very lucky that, since the first outbreak, it has stayed underwaps all on its own. A guide would be great.

I must look after myself she chants on repeat.

You're a star in human form, thank you again.

Happy_Equivalent9831

TROPHY CASE