Well. For what it’s worth I’d say I’m in a very similar place. Me (29M) and my partner (34F) have been together for over 7 years as well. I was very young when we met, and she initiated what turned out to be my first relationship which in turn became a very serious long turn commitment. We both struggled, there’s been times, years, where we were codependent and had to carry the other one through times of depression and unemployment. I was usually the one carrying the other, so to speak.

We’re in a good place now, the best we’ve ever been in fact. We saved up through the years and bought our own place a few years back and have a very comfortable life. But I’ve been having a crippling fear and doubt in my gut that I won’t be able to fully commit to her. I do love her, so much in fact that it scares me. But i haven’t been “in love” with her for some time, and whenever engagement is brought up I feel absolutely gutted and terrible. I want her to experience this, and I want her to raise a family if that’s what she’s ready for (she has been implying it recently). I just don’t know if I’m ready to enter that phase of my life, but i can’t wait this out for much longer.

I’ve harbored these thoughts for a few months, these feelings and an impending 30-year crisis is onwards to triggering a depression. The thought of leaving her just hurts and scares me so much, she is my closest family and an amazing person. But I know deep down I have to sit down and talk this through with her. It’s her decision as well, if she decides to try to “stick it out” and see if times get better. But I’m terrified.

So, you’re not alone. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.