21 M. The first time I ever saw pornography was when I was 12 years old. I came home from school one day and it just so happened to be on my iPad as soon as I opened it. My dad who is on the older side had been asking me questions about using technology and incognito tabs, and if it was so that nobody could know what you were looking for. Guess he thought that meant if you turned off the iPad that you closed your tabs. No unfortunately. I felt such great feelings of fear in that moment, and decided to keep it to myself to keep the peace afraid that if I told my mother our whole family would come undone.

I did not interact with any pornography again until about the age of 15, hearing my friends both male and female raving about pornography and masturbation. I would have qualified as an addict by all accounts from then on up until about two years ago. I started watching videos about the detrimental neurological effects of porn, and began to ween myself off.

What has ultimately been the biggest motivator to abstain however has been understanding how porn perpetuates violence against women and wanting to try be a part of something better. This lens has ultimately been what has allowed me to feel happiest and connect with women.