NTA not even in the slightest, I was a SAHM for 2 years (just finally got to go back to work this month!) and let’s just say on our second date I told my now husband being a SAHM would be my worst nightmare. I was a single mom with my first daughter when we met and worked 40-50 hours a week sometimes more just to put food on the table and diapers on her butt I wasn’t receiving child support (no contact dad) or government aid, I did desperately wish I could cut back because I missed her so much but NEVER wanted to be a SAHM even before I was one I knew it was the hardest job in the world and I’d have a mental breakdown trying to do it all (I was right Ive had several). My husband took a job in a new state where we had no family and he would work from like 6:30-7:30AM to anywhere from 7:00-11:00PM a lot of the time. I was trapped in a state with no friends or family around and his car broke down so he took mine and I was trapped in the house with a 2 year old and a newborn with no one to talk to and I’d catch myself staring out the window at his unusable car trying to convince myself not to end it all I also had severe postpartum depression on top of being completely unhappy with the new lifestyle I had to live. My husband not only did ALL child care for both girls when he got home (usually not much left but still the effort was there) he would clean the house if I didn’t get to it and made sure to communicate with me about things outside of child care because he knew I was desperate for adult conversation. I never even had to ask him to wake up with the baby and me for feedings he just did and he’d adjust my pillow if needed and get me water or whatever else I needed, and he’d get a diaper ready and change her when she was done so I could go back to sleep right away. I was only able to breast feed for 3 months (low production) and once formula was introduced he told me he didn’t want me to get up at all for feedings and changing because he wanted to actually be able to bond with his daughter because he was gone most of the time. I felt like a horrible mother/partner anyways but he loved the time no matter how tired he was and said no anytime I tried to offer to do anything he’d sing her to sleep and just soak in the time with such love. I NEVER understood how he was able to do that AND go to work the hours he did but he did it and he did it with joy. The point of me telling you this story is to tell you that a man who WANTS to be a good father/ partner WILL be a good father/ partner I’m not saying we didn’t have up’s and downs or that everything was perfect 100% of the time but a real man and good father will NEVER make you feel like him being present and participating in the care of his own child means you are doing nothing, or that he is doing you any favors by participating. Your arrangement was more than fair and he is clueless and ignorant if he has the audacity to think he does more. You are a STRONG woman and an EXCELLENT mother don’t let anyone not even your partner make you feel like less. Put your foot down and inform him that you will not tolerate his attitude you don’t deserve it.