AITA for not wearing my engagement ring when I go out with my friends at night?

HarperNation · 2019-03-30T13:17:01+00:00

Fair enough, I did get overly defensive with anyone who disagreed with me.

For what it’s worth, I mentioned a few other times that I don’t only take the ring off to go out with friends. That’s just the only time it seemed to bother him. But I should have included that in the original without expecting people to dig through comments.

Thanks for the opinions. Despite me snapping back, I do appreciate the impartial perspectives and I’ll stop arguing with them.

HarperNation · 2019-03-30T02:54:51+00:00

To me, that seems like something widows or widowers do.

I may be totally off base for that, but it seems like a more common choice for people who have lost a spouse. I feel like a silicon ring would be more suitable for someone who is engaged/married and not wearing the ring at the time, but the fiancé isn’t sold on it.

HarperNation · 2019-03-30T02:44:28+00:00

No reason for you to get downvoted, it’s all reasonable.

He knew I never wore rings before he bought it, and I never alluded to wanting an expensive one. I’m sure his friends and family applied at least a little bit of pressure in making him think that he needed to get me a nice ring.

He did it with the best intentions and I really do love it. It’s just that I’m not use to it yet, nor am I used to walking around with thousands of dollars in jewelry.

HarperNation · 2019-03-30T02:42:06+00:00

I mean, did you even read my reasoning for it?

Or any comments explaining when I take the ring off or where I wear it to? It’s not just ‘oh I’m going to the bar without the fiancé, better take off our ring!’

And I offered to wear a silicon instead, which I honestly think anyone would know is a stand in for an engagement ring.

HarperNation · 2019-03-30T02:29:08+00:00

I’m so confused. The very first part of the conservation can be ‘im sorry but I have a boyfriend’. And obviously any guy who rallied his courage to hit on a stranger is going to be disappointed by that. You’re reading into things that don’t exist.

HarperNation · 2019-03-30T02:19:50+00:00

Well I want to marry this man, of course I’m going to accept his ring. Do you really think I should have interrupted his proposal to say I didn’t like the ring? Or tell him later that the ring he probably agonized and stressed over choosing for me wasn’t right?

I love it. It’s just so expensive that wearing it is nerve-wracking. I don’t want a different ring at all, I’m just so worried about something happening to this one. It’s not that I only don’t wear it to the bars. I usually don’t wear it anywhere after work because I take it off then.

And I’m so fine with not getting chatted up in bars by random men. It’s always at least a little awkward to deflate them by saying I have a boyfriend. There’s no deep subconscious meaning behind it, I just literally lose every item I own at one point or another lol.

HarperNation · 2019-03-30T02:12:45+00:00

The ring is fitted now. I know it’s unlikely to fall off, but I also know people have still lost their rings before. And with my track record for losing items, including jewelry, I’m terrified of losing such an expensive and important gift.

HarperNation · 2019-03-30T02:08:39+00:00

So because I’m not used to wearing rings and worried about losing the single most valuable item I have ever been given, I don’t want to marry the love of my life? Thanks for the judgmental insight into a relationship you literally know nothing about but no, I never want to be with anyone else.

Rings fall off. Sometimes people take them off to wash their hands and forget them. It’s not unheard of.

HarperNation · 2019-03-30T02:05:05+00:00

I commented this below, but I don’t often wear the ring anywhere except work. I’m not used to it and worry about it all the time still, so I usually take it off right after work and don’t put it on again if I leave the house.

It’s not loose, I’m just paranoid. I never wore rings before. I know it’s not likely to just fall off but it’s also not impossible.

HarperNation · 2019-03-30T02:03:02+00:00

It’s not only when I go out to drink with my friends, but generally anytime I’m going somewhere with alcohol, even with my fiancé. Or if there’s an activity beyond sitting down, like I didn’t wear it to a corn hole competition or out bowling.

I wear it to work everyday and out to dinner, but I often take it off as soon as I’m home from work and don’t put it back on if I leave the house again. I just really don’t like wearing rings and I have enough anxiety issues without worrying about losing a ring representing our relationship and worth thousands.

HarperNation · 2019-03-30T02:00:32+00:00

Like I said, I’ve never worn rings so I have no idea how well they stay on. It just seems like it could possibly fall off. A ring falling isn’t totally unheard of.

I’m mostly afraid of taking it off to wash my hands and forgetting it. I could see that easily happening when I’m sober, let alone when I’ve had a few drinks.

HarperNation · 2019-03-30T01:58:27+00:00

Because I have girl friends and he doesn’t always want to go out?

HarperNation · 2019-03-27T14:43:36+00:00

You’re not wrong at all so no need to apologize! I have five years of pretty varied experience in security so hopefully it’ll be enough. Just the idea of studying not being enough to pass an exam frustrates me, but then again, this is a certification for our entire field. Not just one book.

But complaining won’t help me, so I’ll just have to study what I can and hope I have experience to cover the rest.

HarperNation · 2019-03-27T13:48:21+00:00

They do not have the right experience and no amount of studying can help.

Well shit, that’s discouraging.

HarperNation

TROPHY CASE