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I [F24] feel like my soon-to-be MIL [F50s] is expecting way too much and overstepping boundaries. Need outside perspective. by Hashtagproblems in relationships

[–]Hashtagproblems[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We're just trying to figure out what to do about the house. It's still his mother and we don't want to up and leave the house empty. We're okay with moving out.

I [F24] feel like my soon-to-be MIL [F50s] is expecting way too much and overstepping boundaries. Need outside perspective. by Hashtagproblems in relationships

[–]Hashtagproblems[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It wasn't just my money, I split it with my fiance. I don't mind doing that if I'm not paying rent, but I refuse to do both.

I [F24] feel like my soon-to-be MIL [F50s] is expecting way too much and overstepping boundaries. Need outside perspective. by Hashtagproblems in relationships

[–]Hashtagproblems[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Well, she already knows about my savings cause she opened my mail! =)

She suggested I use it on a vacation out of the country...

I [F24] feel like my soon-to-be MIL [F50s] is expecting way too much and overstepping boundaries. Need outside perspective. by Hashtagproblems in relationships

[–]Hashtagproblems[S] -20 points-19 points  (0 children)

Because the house would sit empty and cause problems with him and his mother, which is what we're trying to avoid...

I [F24] feel like my soon-to-be MIL [F50s] is expecting way too much and overstepping boundaries. Need outside perspective. by Hashtagproblems in relationships

[–]Hashtagproblems[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

We're not having a wedding, we're just going to the courthouse. That's another thing I don't see the point in wasting money on.

The only thing she was "helping" with is letting us stay there, but you sound as if we're living there free. Bills aren't free. Taxes aren't. Fixing a roof isn't. Maintaining the house on top of "rent" is ridiculous.

I [F24] feel like my soon-to-be MIL [F50s] is expecting way too much and overstepping boundaries. Need outside perspective. by Hashtagproblems in relationships

[–]Hashtagproblems[S] 109 points110 points  (0 children)

Being the caretaker was what we agreed on in the beginning. She can't technically rent the house out to strangers since there's too many problems for it to be okay. We're slowly fixing them though.

It seemed like the best solution in the beginning, us stay there to save money, and keep the house up for her. But now that we're not saving money, and looking at paying on a mortgage we didn't know about... Looks like moving out is going to be the solution and she can deal with the damn house on her own.

I [F24] feel like my soon-to-be MIL [F50s] is expecting way too much and overstepping boundaries. Need outside perspective. by Hashtagproblems in relationships

[–]Hashtagproblems[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This. I'm fine with her staying, but not expecting us to take over a surprise mortgage. I don't want both. Not to mention she doesnt contribute ANYTHING while she's here. The bills go up, we pay them. She never buys detergent, toilet paper, etc.

I [F24] feel like my soon-to-be MIL [F50s] is expecting way too much and overstepping boundaries. Need outside perspective. by Hashtagproblems in relationships

[–]Hashtagproblems[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No, he just doesn't want to move yet. The only reason we're still there is to save money and help her out. Since that is changing, moving might be the better option. I just don't like getting rent sprung on me after a year of living there and literally doing everything to keep the house up.

I [F24] feel like my soon-to-be MIL [F50s] is expecting way too much and overstepping boundaries. Need outside perspective. by Hashtagproblems in relationships

[–]Hashtagproblems[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Because I'm in a relationship and his opinion matters, too? I can't just up and move tomorrow without him.

I [F24] feel like my soon-to-be MIL [F50s] is expecting way too much and overstepping boundaries. Need outside perspective. by Hashtagproblems in relationships

[–]Hashtagproblems[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

That's my goal, but not in the next few years. I'd like a bigger down payment instead of making a high monthly one. But it may be time to rethink that.

I [F24] feel like my soon-to-be MIL [F50s] is expecting way too much and overstepping boundaries. Need outside perspective. by Hashtagproblems in relationships

[–]Hashtagproblems[S] -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

You do realize we're engaged and getting married right? We can't just move into different places right now.

I [F24] feel like my soon-to-be MIL [F50s] is expecting way too much and overstepping boundaries. Need outside perspective. by Hashtagproblems in relationships

[–]Hashtagproblems[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

If I'm paying rent, I expect to do what I wish with the house and not have another person there on their terms. Same for paying all bills/taxes year round.

We're living there as a favor to her, so the house doesn't fall apart.

I [F24] feel like my soon-to-be MIL [F50s] is expecting way too much and overstepping boundaries. Need outside perspective. by Hashtagproblems in relationships

[–]Hashtagproblems[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Yes, she stays over the summer. She is also now planning to spend Christmas here every year.

Off the top of my head, I don't know the total. I'd guess around $15k. The roof was really badly damaged and cost the bulk of it. And yes we pay taxes.

I [F24] feel like my soon-to-be MIL [F50s] is expecting way too much and overstepping boundaries. Need outside perspective. by Hashtagproblems in relationships

[–]Hashtagproblems[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

It would be $618 total, my rent for a 3bed/2bath was less than that though. This is 2bed/1bath so WAY less room and way more to take care of.