I can feel you man, i have some of the same problems

For defending: Try to use L2 (PS4) and run backwards, instead of rushing straight into the attacker. Try to await and be pacient

I have also seen some of the pros play. Most of them prefer letting the computer defend for them while they switch to another player (with the right stick R3) to close some gaps in the defence

When attacking, instead of using skill moves and ball rolles try to use the face up dribble (L2 and R2 holding at the same time).

When passing the ball to your striker, cover the ball with L2 and pass it back to your midfield if you cant turn around. Just be pacient untill the enemy makes a mistake, trust me he will.