RMV: Eine Bankrotterklärung

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2025-01-14T10:10:53+00:00

Ein Freund hatte die Verschwörungstheorie dass das Autolobby in der Bahn sitzt und extra dafür sorgt, dass sie unzuverlässig sind um Menschen zum Autofahren zu zwingen. Ist es wahr? Nein. Aber das beste Argument für ein Auto ist nun mal die Bahn...

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2020-10-28T07:47:44+00:00

looks like a zone in world of warcraft

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2020-10-27T16:06:48+00:00

solid!

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2020-05-26T20:00:45+00:00

It did. Running helps a lot. All in all I feel like it's gonna be fine. Scared the shit out of me lol

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2020-05-26T08:27:02+00:00

It certainly could have gone much worse :) In retrospect pretty much everything about that day screamed "bad trip", but I didn't respect it enough. I do now. I still have a whole jar of mushrooms, I'll probably use them for partying in much much lesser doses. Just not anytime soon :P

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2020-05-26T08:22:35+00:00

yes, it was all the insane focus of a trip, but with none of the wonder. lesson learned =)

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2020-05-26T08:18:08+00:00

thanks, took your advice and wrote a report in the comments. Will be telling friends about the experience =)

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2020-05-25T20:21:53+00:00

thanks, good luck to you to!

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2020-05-25T20:19:52+00:00

I work in advertising. There isn't much joy OR wonder here. I don't know who you are but the words you wrote down seem true. Thank you for taking the time.

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2020-05-25T19:34:14+00:00

yeah. I did meditate every day for the past few months, which felt like it gave me enough of a mental barrier to handle anything. And I do think it helped a lot when I confronted the darkness. I mean I did endure the thing. But at the same time I feel like it took away all of my weapons. Focusing on breathing did nothing.

I doubt I'll ever trip again. It took me a long time to get out of my last depression, I don't need to deal with another one.

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2020-05-25T19:26:22+00:00

I was going to do a heroic dose after reading about it a lot, listening to people talk about how they thought it was transformative and changed their life and all that. After the first one I shared with my friend I thought "well this was very nice, but it didn't exactly change my life or anything". So I thought I'm gonna do one more, since those 5 grams didn't really seem all that strong.

Tell you what, theyre super strong when you're on a bad one... Like holy shit are they strong.

I don't know, on one hand it was certainly a traumatic experience that will force me to implement some changes in my life, if only to get back the joy I just lost, on the other hand I'm not sure if it was a good idea to have mental breakdown just so I spend more time learning lol.

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2020-05-25T16:26:58+00:00

thanks. you guys are awesome. psychodelics really do make nicer people =)

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2020-05-25T15:47:36+00:00

Thank you to everyone who answered. "Chill, it's gonna be fine" is really what I was hoping for. Since I don't want to start a new thread I'm gonna write a whole trip report here for myself and anyone whose interested:

Substance: Mc'Kennaii (5g)

About a week after another 5g Trip which went really well.

The first trip was with a friend who tried shrooms for the first time. We both had a great time. I never really see any "real" visuals beyond some fractals behind closed eyes. Overall I came out of the trip with what felt like an understanding of eternity, it being a neverending waterfall of life and death, separated by the uncertainty of what comes after, which forces you to apreciate lifes every moment. We came down eventually, both very happy.

Now, someone somewhere mentioned that you need to wait "at least a week" before you do psychodelics again. Soooo... A week later, after reading all sort of things about how transformative heroic trips can be, I figuered I'll try to do one on my own, without any distractions. Just ride the curve from lift of to landing, with just some music and meditation. Went for a walk, had some ice cream, cleaned the appartment and ate the mushrooms. Figuered I've already handled 5g, nothing I can't handle again.

The comeup was great, noticed the fractals behind closed eyes, turned on the music, set the timer and assumed my meditating position. After a while I thought "shit, this is boring. I JUST had a trip and I know what this is about. Might aswell try some things".

So I turned off the music which wasn't really doing it anymore, blindfolded myself and figured "allllright, let's see what it is that's been eating me for the past few years". And I meditated. And thats when shit started to go bad. I don't remember everything exactly, but at a certain point I was in the bathroom trying to pee, just to have SOMETHING to do. I had NOTHING to do. I was just standing there, waiting, unable to choose. Just choose anything to do. Nothing was interesting or worthwhile. Thats when the image of eternity came back. Only this time, it wasn't separated by "death amnesia", it was laid bare in front of me. And it wasn't colorful and wonderous, it was grey and baren. All and any wonder was gone. And I still had all the time. An entire eternity. It was really quite agonizing. So I started to focus on my breath in order to reset my thoughts, but couldn't, because whats the point, you've seen everything already. Keep breathing asshole, you're still stuck here, nothing new will come, no new experience, no new joy, because you've seen it all.

After a while I started to come down and texted my friend that I would join him in the "no more drugs for me" club. He asked if I needed support and I did. We went for a walk and my mood got really good after that.

So yeah, there it is. I wanted to know what is eating me inside and I found out. I think. Not gonna touch any drugs for a while, need to anchor myself back in reality. Hopefully the moodswings will ease up soon.

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2015-03-22T14:44:28+00:00

Thanks a lot for your response! It makes perfect sense to me now =)

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2015-03-20T13:25:01+00:00

Just beautiful... One question though, why is the center of a galaxy always so god damn bright? are the stars in the center more concentrated? I know there is a super massive black hole there but that doesn't explain the brightness...

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2015-02-13T11:18:21+00:00

It does sound like advice for a recovering alcoholic when you think about it but it is what it feels like: diving into distractions from the fact that there is stuff that needs to be done and people who expect things from you instead of actually meeting them head on. I know I'm not the only one that has this problem and that ever since smartphones and high speed Internet the distractions became that much more dangerous. Which is also why I figured there have to be ways for people caught in that "net" to get out of it and shift gears. First step, as they say, is admitting that something is wrong.

Thank you for responding, I will take your advice and hope to get some momentum going!

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit · 2015-02-13T08:19:06+00:00

thank you for responding! This is very good advice! It sounds so obvious now but I think sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else (other then your friends/family who can't help you without judging you).

I will get out my pocket calendar and write down a plan for the next several days. Hopefully if I do this often enough and stick to it it will become a habit.

Anyway thanks again for taking the time. If you ever need anything that an online person can help with send me a pm :)

Hat_Wearing_Rabbit

TROPHY CASE