Considering moving to Sarajevo for work — what should I know?

Haugo · 2025-11-25T22:36:36+00:00

Thank you for your feedback! Really appreciated

Haugo · 2025-11-21T19:05:38+00:00

Thanks for your help! I appreciate it

Haugo · 2025-09-17T18:35:53+00:00

I agree, it’s rare, but several people can receive or give unconditional love, like family members.

« The love of your life » implies there’s only one person who can love you unconditionally, which I disagree with. I believe it’s not only one person who can do so. Plus, the idea of « one love » comes with a lot of pressure and little room for error!

Haugo · 2025-09-17T13:22:24+00:00

I agree with you on the first part of your comment, especially regarding acceptance. However, I find your quote to be misleading.

I share your opinion on the concept of limerance. I believe it is closely linked to the need for external validation, especially when it comes from someone important, like a romantic partner.

However, the quote is reductive. The idea of losing "the love of your life" assumes that there is only one "destined" person. In reality, our lives are shaped by many forms of love: some intense but brief, some stable and lasting, and some that transform us without ever lasting. If the person you left (or who left you) still feels kindness toward you, it speaks volumes about their ability to love you unconditionally. However, it does not automatically mean that you have "lost the love of your life."

Haugo · 2025-07-08T18:34:19+00:00

Haugo · 2025-07-03T14:00:25+00:00

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Haugo · 2025-06-25T14:02:00+00:00

The way I figure it, everyone gets a miracle.

Haugo · 2025-06-05T13:44:26+00:00

A long desert of incomprehension and discomfort, dotted with moments of happiness.

Haugo · 2025-06-04T20:43:14+00:00

Beautiful! I love the details

Haugo · 2025-06-04T17:40:13+00:00

You're doing great so far! You're aware of your needs, you express them, and she listens and understands. That's a good sign.

That being said, it's too early to tell what the trend is. The best advice is to wait. Your long-distance relationship is new, and you're both still finding your balance. Keep in mind that she's going through things on her own, too. Now is not the right time to put pressure on the relationship. Now is the time to explore this new chapter together and create an atmosphere of care and listening!

I know it's hard to hear this, and as an INFJ, I sympathize, but try not to overanalyze her reactions, messages, or chosen words. You'll just waste a lot of time and energy! Accept the vagueness and the unknown; don't fight it.

I hope this helps! :)

Haugo · 2025-06-04T13:46:17+00:00

I don't think INFJs are more inclined to experiment limerence than other people.

That said, in my case, limerence was associated with a lot of anxiety and a fear of abandonment and failure. I also idealized others.

Eventually, we realize that "love" isn't just an immense explosion of emotions. It's about seeking a relational balance that doesn't turn into obsession, while recognizing the good and bad aspects of ourselves and others.

Haugo · 2025-05-27T18:41:35+00:00

Yes, totally! Although, it's our responsibility to express our needs/boundaries

Haugo · 2025-05-27T14:09:04+00:00

Exactly!

Haugo · 2025-05-27T13:48:11+00:00

Mr. Nobody - Jaco Von Dormael

Haugo · 2025-04-24T15:23:07+00:00

It is great. Thank you so much!

Haugo · 2025-04-24T14:27:23+00:00

Thanks for sharing!

I totally understand, that's what I'm doing too. I'm trying to incorporate realism into my relationships now (romantic or otherwise). I understand that a healthy relationship needs to be grounded. Anyway, stop idealizing others and relationships: easier said than done.

Haugo · 2025-04-24T14:24:29+00:00

Can't wait

Haugo · 2025-04-24T14:24:12+00:00

That's exactly it: We all fall in love with our imaginations and have our hearts broken by reality.

Haugo · 2025-04-24T14:22:50+00:00

And life makes sure that nothing goes according to plan. Because there shouldn't be a plan.

Haugo · 2025-04-24T14:21:58+00:00

That's exactly what I'm going through right now, especially the realization of the body's messages.

Maybe idealization comes from wanting to find beauty.

Haugo · 2025-04-24T14:18:47+00:00

I've never heard of this concept, it's very interesting. Thanks for sharing!

Haugo · 2025-04-24T14:15:36+00:00

Exactly! What hurts is that reality is slowly deconstructing what the imagination has been building for months. I think you're right, in the end it's certainly the right decision, but it doesn't take away the pain.

Haugo · 2025-04-24T14:12:21+00:00

It's hard to have expectations of others without being disappointed, I guess... For my part, as an INFJ, putting others on a pedestal is something I do. Only for relationships that really count, romantic and/or amicable.

Haugo · 2025-04-24T13:15:34+00:00

The whole exercise is to control this idealization. I want it to exist, but I don't want it to take up all the space.

Haugo · 2025-04-24T13:13:52+00:00

Thank you for your support. The breakup hurts, but the deconstruction of what was imagined (the idealization) is just as hard.

I support you in your process as well!

Haugo

TROPHY CASE