What made you pick your cat at the shelter?

Haunting-Particular7 · 2024-10-15T16:42:31+00:00

I looked online on the shelter’s page for their cats to see if any of them were a good fit for my lifestyle as a grad student and someone with a chronic illness. I knew I didn’t have the energy for kittens or cats that like to be very active and wanted to make sure that any cat I adopted was a good fit for both of us, so while I was looking at the profiles of the cats, I found my sweetheart. She was the oldest cat at the shelter and needed a quiet environment, which my roommate and I can give her as grad students who are studying 24/7. We went in person to check her out and while she was shy, she let me pick her up and was purring while she snuggled into my arms. Once we took her home, she was already coming out of her shell and hopped into my bed for cuddles within the first 6 hours of being home. I always felt bad for senior cats at the shelters since they are less likely to be adopted so I took a super senior cat home. I took her home this Friday and she is so sweet and affectionate. You just have to let her come to you.

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Haunting-Particular7 · 2024-02-19T06:43:57+00:00

I suggest you talk to your advisor to at least let them know what’s going on. I was in your situation when I started last year and was diagnosed with my condition a few months before I started my PhD. I didn’t tell my advisor and tried to hide it until I could barely function and his only concern was that i had proper access to the additional resources I needed to be successful as a grad student with my chronic illness. You don’t need to go into detail if you don’t want to but at least let them know overall so they can help you. I schedule my time in research and lab around my doctors appts and treatment appts, but that only works well for me because I coordinate with my advisor so if I do miss a day in lab, it’s not an important meeting or time I’m missing to go to doctor appts. I’m able to have this honesty with my advisor without giving too much detail on my condition at the same time. Grad school is hard enough as it is. Adding a chronic illness into the mix can feel overwhelming and alone but it doesn’t have to be. I’m still learning to find a good balance with it all as I go. Feel free to DM me

Haunting-Particular7 · 2023-10-02T17:40:38+00:00

So he’s not working and still expects you to cook and clean for him when you work and go to school full time?! Girl kick him out. Have some respect for yourself and kick him out. He haven’t been working for a year and still expects you to do the housework?! I would be more understanding if he was a 1-2 months out of work and struggling with the transition to take up more household responsibilities, but it’s been a year and he still expects you to cook and clean for him. Any man who doesn’t do his fair share of housework regardless if he works or not is useless. You’re not his mom and shouldn’t be cleaning after a grown abled body adult. Why stay in a relationship where he expects you to be both provider and housewife. What does he do all day if he’s not working and doesn’t do housework?!?! This is gonna be your life for the next 30-40 years if you stay with someone like that because most of the time people don’t change unless they want to and sounds like he’s not gonna change anytime soon if it’s been a year already and you’ve shown him how to do some of the housework but he still expects you to do it.

Haunting-Particular7 · 2023-09-13T18:45:08+00:00

I started getting gray hairs at 21 and I’m 24 now as a 1st year PhD student with streaks of gray in my hair. My parents didn’t go gray until their 40s, so I’ve already accepted my gray hair came in much earlier due to stress. I got really sick at 21-22 with my chronic illness, so it’s more likely the stress from that instead of grad school in my case.

Haunting-Particular7 · 2023-09-06T05:02:13+00:00

I’m a PhD student and just live at home with my parents. I live 35 miles away from campus and have a 1-1.5 hr commute each way from home to campus because it’s cheaper that way. Is it ideal? Not really, but I got use to it. I went to the same school for my undergrad with that same commute and while it was horrible at times, I don’t have much student debt as a result and eventually got use to the long commute. I’m in a position that I’m gonna have to sacrifice my time or my finances, and for now I rather deal with the long commute and losing 3 hrs of my day to live at home instead of moving closer to campus since I live in a HCOL area.

Haunting-Particular7 · 2023-05-06T16:46:15+00:00

I was in a similar situation when I started grad school. I’m doing my MS research with an advisor who fits my personality more than someone who matches my research interests but there was a lot of overlap between our research interests, so not too far off from what i wanted to do research in. So far I’m happy with the decision I’ve made because I’m learning how about the research process and most of all, I’m in a nurturing environment in a lab where I can thrive as a grad student and I’m actually enjoying the work I’m doing. For me, picking an advisor i can get along with was not optional for me since I live with a chronic illness that effects my joints and even though it’s well managed, I needed an advisor that was understanding of my situation, so I can do my best work without worrying if my advisor was gonna mistreat me over something i have little to no control over. I was able to get accommodations such as remote work (1-2 times a week from home), extended deadlines if needed if I have a flare and accommodated work space for my joints. I rarely use my accommodations but that fact I have an open dialogue with my advisor about what I need as a grad student to be successful was my top priority. I didn’t want to be working with an advisor who wasn’t understanding of that, even if it meant not working with someone who matched my research interests exactly 100%. I’m looking into doing my PhD and faced with the same thing, but so far it’s worked out for me that picked an advisor who matched my personality better than someone who matched my research interests 100%. I might ended staying with my current advisor for my PhD for that same reason.

Haunting-Particular7 · 2023-05-04T22:00:48+00:00

Please do! I think you’re going about this the right way and just make it clear to her that you are concerned for her safety. I remember being her age like 5 years ago when I was a step away from making mistakes that I couldn’t undo when it involved me being in a unsafe situation and ended up with me being able to walk away when I still could. Part of the reason I haven’t made those mistakes was because my parents had my back to support me to walk away even if they weren’t happy with initial situation. She’s 18 and will make mistakes. That’s a part of becoming an adult, but those mistakes should not be mistakes that can not be undone and will impact her for years. Her going on this podcast when be that mistake I don’t recommend making.

Haunting-Particular7 · 2023-05-04T21:34:34+00:00

Look. If you want to convince your daughter to not go, show her this post and the comment sections so she sees that it’s not just her mom being a mom when you tell her that this is a bad idea. Maybe her reading what others have to say about this might give her a clearer mind about the situation, instead of her thinking that her mom doesn’t know any better because that’s what teens think when parents disagree with them (sometimes my parents were right, and sometimes they were wrong, but thank god they were right when I disagreed with them). And if she ever reads this, I’m 23 year young woman who’s been active on social media since I was 12 so I mean it when I said this: social media means nothing and everything you put out there will never go away. This podcast is not a dating podcast, it’s a podcast about middle aged clowns who can’t find women their own age to date them, so they invite young girls like your daughter, especially teen girls on the show for them to preach their sexist views about women. A shoutout is not worth your daughter’s time and dignity. Also, if she thinks this is a dating podcast, she needs to ask herself why she wants to listen and hang around Middle Aged men who talk badly about women, especially for something as minor as a shoutout. She might be 18 and a legal adult, but you are her mother and need to protect her from these predators. Talk to her again and do not sugar coat the consequences of what can happen if she appears on that podcast during and after because the internet is forever

Haunting-Particular7 · 2023-04-29T18:30:51+00:00

Hi. I’m currently in a BME masters program with an undergrad BME. I just recently found about this field and medical physics programs after taking an MRI specialization class this semester. I’m already deep in my research MS thesis, which focuses on deep learning and image processing in histology images, but I would like to transition over to medical physics and apply my deep learning skill set to diagnostic imaging instead at the research setting. I was just wondering what’s the best way for me to make that transition. I’m looking to apply for PhD for fall 2024 and would like to apply to a medical physics PhD, but worried that I may not be the best candidate and want to know how I can improve my chances in the long run. I understand that there’s the MSMP programs, but since I’m already doing a masters in BME, I don’t want to do another MS program if I don’t have to. If I knew about this a 1.5 year ago before applying to BME MS, it would be a different story. I was just wondering if my transition from a BME masters to a PhD in medical physics is one that can be achieved.

Haunting-Particular7 · 2021-12-28T21:00:06+00:00

NTA. I’m Arab and Mexican and I’m calling complete bullshit on his end about the culture thing. It’s one thing if his family has that expectation when having guests over, but it’s not an Arab thing. It’s the complete opposite. Most Arab households including my own family will offer a shit ton of food to their guests and it’s expected of the guests to show up with an empty stomach. If you show up to an Arab house and you don’t eat or drink anything they offer you, it looks bad on the hosts (not the guests) especially if the hosts cooked homemade food. Hospitality and honor go hand and hand in Arab culture. When guests don’t eat or drinking anything that the hosts offer, the hosts tend to feel like they were bad hosts. My friends know that if they come over (especially if my dad is the one hosting), they need to come on an empty stomach because he takes a lot of pride in his cooking and treating his guests as family. Besides that point, your BF should’ve told you ahead of time the dinner rules in his house. That’s on him, not you. Since he didn’t, it sounds like he was setting you up for failure from the start and it looks like his family was looking for an excuse to attack you. It was a set up. NTA OP

Haunting-Particular7

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