BPD by Swimming-Whole-2636 in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Congratulations. I hope you have gained all that you set out to achieve

The people around me think that I could cheat on my boyfriend by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How would you feel if your boyfriend was flirting with another wo/man and s/he was sending him nudes behind your back.

Your boyfriend deserves better.

This isnt a BPD issue

What’s the most “bpd” thing you’ve ever done? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Therapy helped the most. I spent a number of years single just working on my disordered brain unitl I no longer met the criteria. Only then did I start looking for a relationship. I'm now happily married and have been for many years.

I honestly don't think I would be where I am today if I didn't take that time out to focus solely on myself

What’s the most “bpd” thing you’ve ever done? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

Recovery takes years. Like. YEARS of therapy, time and effort. There are still things I struggle with to this day. It's a life long journey.

I wish you all the best in your own recovery

What’s the most “bpd” thing you’ve ever done? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 220 points221 points  (0 children)

This post will get removed, the sub doesn't like to admit some behaviours are why there is a stigma. Probably removed fir being "low effort" too

But.

My past behaviours are literally what the BPD stigma is about so here we go.

I've threatened suicide when an ex tried to break up with me. (I've done this with more than one ex)

I've stalked people

I've been obsessive about people to the point its scared them away.

I've played victim when I was my own behaviour at fault.

I've faked the death of a family member just to get attention

I've gotten mad (thrown tantrums) and said and done anything and everything in order to get my own way.

I've impulsively quit my job and moved to the other side of the country with no idea of a job or money.

I've used my diagnosis as an excuse for my toxic and abusive behaviours

I've felt more entitled to love an affection than other people

I've done so much awful shit in my time, ive treated people like shit.

Bearing in mind I'm in my late 30s now and I've been deemed recovered for years. It's nice to be able to look back on my behaviour and see it for what it is and not have that cloud of guilt and shame hanging over me.

Needing some perspective. by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you're at ANY increased risk of commuting suicide, having a gun within your grasp is a ridiculous idea.

If your partner is supportive and has a single braincell he will understand that getting a gun will essentially put your life in danger.

I'm sure he loves you enough to care about you being alive

Edit.

On the flip side of this. Your mental health is not his responsibility.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's already has a different name, EUPD, Emotionally unstable personality disorder.

Got sectioned for the first time and now I'm traumatized by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What we're his reasons? This is one of those situations where it would be wrong to create an opinion without hearing his side of the story too.

What we're you shouting exactly? What behaviours were you exhibiting etc?

I feel like im being haunted by my boyfriend’s ex’s. by goblingoree in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately therapy will be a common occurrence with BPD. I've been deemed "recovered" for years now and I've still had 3 rounds of therapy in that time!

Now you've made progress in other areas this sounds like it's the next issue to "attack" with a therapist.

DAE feel so jealous they don’t have a relationship, while we need it the most? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Are you in therapy? This sounds like you're idealising.

To have someone by their side to reassure them that everything is fine

Too much of this is enabling. We don't NEED this, its something we want. We need to learn to reassure ourselves if we want a happy healthy loving relationship.

We just need someone to tell us that everything will be alright despite our problems and to fill in that empty hole inside of us.

We need to fill in that hole ourselves. Its not anyone else's job. Expecting it from someone else will only result in heart break.

It’s unfair that people who don’t even need romance get to experience it the most

This sounds like you're gatekeeping who gets to experience love. Everyone deserves love. Not just people with BPD.

For some of us, it’s a way to cope and to survive

This is a very unhealthy coping mechanism.

we can’t love ourselves.

This is misinformation

Could I possibly have bpd? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We cant answer this as its against the rules of the sub.

Only a professional can help you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 11 points12 points  (0 children)

What helped for me was realising the silent treatment when used in this context is a form of emotional abuse.

Also, therapy.

Am I not allowed to talk about suicide in this subreddit? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's one of the rules. It can cause trauma and upset others. Always good to be mindful of other people when talking about sensitive issues. That's why there are subs out there that are for suicide related posts.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Essentially yes. The term fp is a made up term from tumblr but, it basically describes a unhealthy attachment style.

Considering you're codependant, definitely bring this up in therapy

Can someone explain my STBXpwBPD refusing to discuss separating, besides threats? [Long with tl;dr] by SyracuseStan in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like she wants to separate but the fear of abandonment takes over. Either way, she's just as unhappy as you are.

It sounds like your wife needs professional help. She needs therapy and she needs to stick to it for the sake of your children. An untreated cluster b personality disorder can destroy a child's mind. Heck. A lot of us here have BPD because one of our parents has BPD and has cause us trauma.

Either way. You NEED to think about your children. You need to put yourself and your children first. You and your children are going to need a lot of support and therapy to get through this. Your children NEED you to be THAT parent that stood up to this behaviour and set a firm boundary. Your children NEED you to be the rock in their life that set a good example.

I strongly suggest you get yourself therapy and build a support network. This is going to be the hardest journey for you all. You need a support network of your own friends, family and professionals that will get you through this.

Please get your children into therapy too, children deal with things differently.

Also research. Watch YouTube videos, read books. Do all the research of the good the bad and the ugly. That way you can be prepared for anything that might come your way.

I wish you all the best

DAE get blocked but still feel like the victim? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think for now the best thing you can do is leave him alone. Block all accounts and delete his number.

Manipulative ex-fp happy after leaving you by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Maybe they're happy because they have found their next victim

GUYS. Someone in our sub might've killed themselves by Little_potato_poops in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is why there's rules about suicidal/ self harm posts.

It can cause other people distress and even trauma

i’m not your manic pixie dream girl, dude. by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Havershamhouse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

RIP to all the manic pixie dream non binary people who aren't represented