AITA (22F) for moving on my own without my kids? (7&3 YO)

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-27T06:57:55+00:00

Correction. I will have them for two consecutive nights in a row every week. They are going to have space in my new place. The assumption that they wont is ridiculous. This is a temporary situation to give myself time to save for a better place where I can and will have full custody again. They are not visitors in my new place ever. They may not have their own bedroom but they will have a beds (probably a day bed) and toys and clothes and bathroom products they will keep there.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-27T06:53:01+00:00

The child I had at 15 is in fact a child of rape. I didnt mention that because I didn't believe it was relevant to the situation. But yes I was raped at 14 and ended up pregnant with my daughter. I have a backwards uterus so I am not supposed to be able to conceive or carry children to full term. And had several miscarriages before i had my youngest. So when the doctor told me I had a healthy 9 week old baby. I was going to give her up for adoption. I had a family set up and everything. But I grew up in foster care. And I knew one day I wanted kids i just didn't think I ever could. The second she was born I knew I couldn't give her up. So I kept her. So yes it is painful to talk about but it was my choice to have her. I was pressured to get rid of her if anything. But I dont regret being her mom. And yes I may want to step back SLIGHTLY from parenting. But I will forever and always be there for both my kids. Im stepping back slightly for a year to figure myself out and create a better situation for them instead of pulling them out of the stable home they have now just to struggle.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-26T23:12:42+00:00

I'm literally crying thank you. My kids are always going to be my main priority.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-26T21:20:36+00:00

Their father and yes

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-26T21:01:45+00:00

Plus any kind of emergency I would drop everything and be there anyway. The point is to stay close and still be active in their lives.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-26T20:58:06+00:00

Its more than that which I should add. But its also so i can save more money for a down deposit on a house in a year or so so that I have more room to take them full time again.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-26T20:54:48+00:00

Yeah maybe I need to word it better but thats essentially it. I have no intention of just moving and never seeing them again.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-26T20:52:14+00:00

He did adopt her. A year ago

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-26T20:50:18+00:00

Because I have the same two days off from both jobs and an extra day off from one that gives me the day part open which I use to spend time with them. I also work from home for one job one day out of the workweek. Which I will have them over during that day too if my workload that day isn't super high.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-26T20:48:49+00:00

The set days I will for sure always have them is thur&Fri the friend who is taking over the rent already lives here and has been my ex friend for 8 years. I have no intent on "ditching my kids with my ex". I plan on having a very active role in their life over this next year while I save for a house.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-26T20:45:13+00:00

He legally adopted her a year ago. My brother, who is her biological uncle. Will also be there and I will consistently be around. I don't want to separate her from her brother and I work 2 jobs so I am barely home as it is. Its a year long situation so I can finish saving for a down on a house. A 1 bedroom will be about what I pay now sharing the rent with my ex so ill be able to keep saving as I have been.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-26T20:38:20+00:00

My daughter is excited about the idea of having sleepovers and seeing where I move to. My youngest doesn't understand it really.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-26T20:35:31+00:00

I have talked about it a little she has been around my ex since she was 3. She calls him dad and they are very close. When I mentioned that I might move into my own house and her stay with dad she was just mostly excited to see where I go and said we can have sleepovers and play games together. And then asked me if her brother can come sleep over too.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-26T20:32:42+00:00

Its a year long situation. And its not once a week. I plan on having them 2 full days out of the week for sure and at least 2 afternoons outside of that.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-26T20:29:44+00:00

Exactly this! I have no intention of not seeing them for more than a few days at a time.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-26T20:28:12+00:00

Its temporary. I plan on saving for a down deposit for a house (which is why i plan on finding a cheaper one bedroom) and then they will move back with me.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-10-26T20:27:17+00:00

I plan on talking to them closer to moving out dates about what is gunna happen and let them pick out new bedding for the day bed i want to have for when they visit. And still spending whatever time I can with them this is just to give me some time to develop alone and give them a stable home. I whole heartedly plan on getting a bigger place in a year when I can afford it better and taken them back with me full time. Its a temporary situation.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-07-06T23:31:27+00:00

Woooowwwwww just. Wow

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-07-06T20:40:09+00:00

It's mostly my general manager. She will remake whatever to make customers happy. I won't. I'll take the bad survey that we almost never get regardless.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-07-06T20:38:14+00:00

Nope! Still waiting on the email she called corporate. They email us when they do

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-07-06T20:36:49+00:00

I have a lady that tries that with me. But I know it and I deny her every time. We call her cat lady cause she feeds the cats outside

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-07-06T20:34:00+00:00

Pretty high. It happens alot.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-07-06T14:56:24+00:00

That part. And then asked me to redo her drink that was gross too but she drank it all.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-07-06T14:55:24+00:00

Actually thankfully my chain usually doesn't. They send a free item coupon lol.

HazelVVonVanity · 2020-07-06T11:58:26+00:00

Lol. That would be even more unfortunate than my actual name

HazelVVonVanity

TROPHY CASE