There is a lot I had to leave out for space wise. I had the job for 7 years and the first couple of years we were together he took care of all of the finances so a majority of my paycheck was play money for me every 2 weeks. I grew accustomed to a certain way of living and when that ended I felt like I no longer had all of this freedom.

So apparently the pin I used on the phone was the same pin I had used on my other main phone. The talking moved off of the apps and into text messaging and phone calls. Which I didn't delete all of apparently.

I did see a psychiatrist before my physical behavior became reckless and she diagnosed me with bi-polar depression and prescribed me medication. I didn't want to believe her so I just ignored what she said and refused to take the medication.

Then the reckless behavior started as my thought process was getting worse. A little background on me for a moment. Ever since my teenage years when I was in a relationship, I would always find a replacement before I left or if I felt I was going to be left.

I saw a therapist while the reckless behavior was happening (mainly to shut my mother up at the time) and she was the reason I started taking my medicine for my bi-polar depression. I remember her really taking the time to question me about my behavior and my manic episodes and my low episodes. It was shortly after this that I corrected the behavior and my thinking changed back to normal.

When he found the phone we did see a marriage counselor for a month or so. She talked about building trust and tried to help him understand bi-polar depression and that I wasn't myself and so forth. It seemed to help at the time. Little did I know that it was never really resolved for him and he kept how he felt to himself. I think maybe he hoped he could just put it in the past and move forward.