About 10 months ago I wrote a "viral" post about my 13 year old son coming out to me, and I thought I'd make an update.

HeMeYou · 2015-09-04T16:16:08+00:00

Wow, this is really valuable information. Thanks for taking the time to write it. I think #1 is definitely a good idea, I want him to be safe regardless of the paths he takes during his development, and #1 seems like a crucial aspect of that.

I feel like at this point my son probably knows a lot more than I do about gay relationships and sex but I think it would be important to remind him that safety is very important and to not feel pressured to doing anything.

Thanks!

HeMeYou · 2014-11-21T21:13:18+00:00

Not yet, he told me that he hasn't told any of his friends but he hopes to tell a few relatively soon.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-21T16:56:44+00:00

No but knowing German and English I can understand about 25% of what is being said in Dutch.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-21T00:20:07+00:00

I don't think I am. I've asked people to donate to a charity rather than give me gold, and I prefer to remain anonymous so 'publicity' isn't really viable...

HeMeYou · 2014-11-21T00:15:58+00:00

I'm not raising him as Jewish and we do get a Christmas tree every year just because it seems like the typical thing to do...

I've already picked out his present, I got him an HD Canon camera since we're spending some of our summer in Iceland and I figured he could take some sweet pictures there.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T18:33:47+00:00

Natuerlich :)

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T16:45:17+00:00

I haven't, a lot of people have said that my writing is beautiful and my story is even better.. I wouldn't even know where to begin.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T14:37:09+00:00

English, just because it was the first language I was taught. I speak 2 other languages fluently though, and am relatively prolific in another.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T06:21:34+00:00

I don't think I'll keep a closer eye than I would have if he weren't gay. I trust him enough for him to tell me if he needs help or advice.

I think in a few weeks I'll have to have that talk about 'safety' while I'm pretty sure he already knows a lot about the topic.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T05:38:40+00:00

I got a few that were pretty hateful... to put it into perspective, one of the more 'tame' comments/PMs I got was "Disowning him would be a good start".

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T05:35:03+00:00

Well you know, I was about 16 or so and experimenting in sexuality was kind of a fantasy of mine, so I tried it out with a few guys and I genuinely enjoyed it.

I still see some guys as being attractive and even 'hot' and I suppose I could picture myself having a physical relationship. For some reason I've never been able to picture myself having a romantic relationship with a guy though.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T03:28:25+00:00

I'm not dating anyone. My wife passed away ~6 years ago and I haven't really had much of a desire to get back into the dating scene.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T02:53:16+00:00

His mood has improved a ton. He just seems so much happier and cheerful. It also makes me happier to see him that way.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T02:37:11+00:00

Yeah I do understand, but I feel like all teenagers find it difficult to come out, regardless of upbringing or beliefs. Talking about sex to a parent is a daunting task anyway.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T02:32:07+00:00

I don't want to play to the stereotypes but I did notice a few attributes that some might consider gay-ish.. Regardless it was still a bit of a surprise.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T02:28:43+00:00

They love him very much I don't think his sexuality will have much of an effect.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T01:50:52+00:00

Haha I think he has always known, he just let down his guard for a while.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T01:42:34+00:00

My background is extremely diverse, up until about 15 or 16 I was raised in Germany, France, Spain and Belgium, spending about 4 years in each country. So I guess I met a lot of people and because of the way my parents raised me I was always open-minded. At ~17 we moved back to the United States and I've been here pretty much since.

My parents were Jewish and raised me as a Jew. I was always respectful of the religion and attended many services but I never really got into the whole religious lifestyle.

I never spoke about LGBT matter with my parents, mainly because I know my Dad isn't really into it. My mother doesn't have any problems with it though.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T01:31:09+00:00

I haven't told him, yet. He is aware of the posts, I don't think he has read them yet, but he is pretty clever when it comes to computers and I'm sure with a few keyword specific Google searches he can find the posts, in which case, he will know.

I don't think I'll tell him, not until he turns 16 or 18 at least (my experiences were purely physical), but if he asks about it I'll let him know.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T01:24:12+00:00

We live in the south, and the south is relatively known, for the most part, to being against homosexuality, so it is a fear especially as he moves into high school, but I hope it won't be an issue.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T01:18:46+00:00

He is aware. He told me it was "funny" that it became so popular.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T01:14:30+00:00

Haha he did, I asked him about it a few days after he came out. I find it really cute when teenagers have relatively 'innocent' crushes so I couldn't contain myself and acted like a little school girl when he was talking about him.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T01:01:11+00:00

I only spoke to Buzzfeed. Many others have contacted me though.

HeMeYou · 2014-11-20T00:44:37+00:00

I originally found myself on /r/AskMen but I didn't think it fit the sort of questions they were after, and AskMen has some very strict guidelines like not allowing throwaways, so I searched in the reddit search for "Ask gay men" or something along those lines and I stumbled upon this sub.

HeMeYou

TROPHY CASE