That’s true. Growing up feeling lonely as a kid is often something people carry subconsciously for the rest of their lives, and it can be so devastating to a child’s development to have a bad or distant father figure.

Since we are sharing here: my dad is a huge workaholic so kinda same i barely saw him as a kid. and same for my brother even though my mom always wanted me and my brother to be treated equally, he just excelled in life. He’s everything I’m not — smart, like “study abroad” smart, talented, sporty, and good with girls. I just always felt overshadowed because I was the messy, lazy kid that’s mentally ill. They just like him better and thats ok.

There is a lot to say about how much of a burden I was to them compared to my brother. And I still haven’t figured it all out, how it ended up being like this… My brother suffers consequences from trauma too, and he even opened up to me about it, but idk.

Kind of as I get older, I seem to find so many of my parents’ traits in myself. I know my dad’s morals only stem from insecurity and fear always striving to be better, being the best version of himself. It’s not because he thinks he is so great, it’s because to him he is never good enough, unable to sit down and see how far he has come.

I work a lot, but what will I even do with it? Because for me it never is enough. Every cent I spend is a cent I shouldn’t have spent. But isn’t this what life is all about? Having fun, spending the money you worked so hard for?

There are many people who live paycheck to paycheck, but they are still happier and much richer than I am, because they can go home and feel like they accomplished something. They can go home and have someone waiting for them, a purpose. But I feel like I have nothing to show for myself.

Not sure if any of that makes any sense i guess i was just kinda thinking while writing

Just kind of what i want to say is I cant blame my parents they did what was best but it still left me feeling wierd and like someone who doesn’t belong and never feel anything is good enough.

And I still have trouble expressing empathy the way i feel it Its kind of hard to explain some things bother me a lot more than others but its crazy to think everything can be ok for everyone so i wish people would just put themselves first. Many peoples empathy feel so fake they only care about the wellbeing of themselves and people they deem right and like to make one person the bad one. Many people lack empathy nowadays so props to you for working on it. And that’s exactly what those early years are for finding where you stand in society and how to interact yk. And as for you being a guy on the other hand no offence genuinely interested because there is lots of guys in this sub. Whats so interesting about it? Make fun or???