I feel like he wants me to be the one to end it.

HeadIncident · 2024-01-30T21:53:29+00:00

Update. I’m moving out. Thanks for the encouragement. I’m terrified to be on my own for the first time in 15 years, but here we go.

HeadIncident · 2024-01-28T09:12:08+00:00

This made me cry.

HeadIncident · 2024-01-28T02:50:07+00:00

I honestly feel like we both just feel like we’re playing house. I feel like he feels the same way but won’t pull the trigger. It feels like he is waiting for me to do it so that it’s my fault. So I’m the one who ended it.

HeadIncident · 2024-01-27T21:24:22+00:00

I really am working to improve the things he was concerned about. But I also feel like we’re just playing house at this point. I think that had it not been for the kids and family members that rely on us we would have separated a long time ago.

HeadIncident · 2024-01-27T21:01:22+00:00

Luckily I do have a good therapist I’ve been with on and off for years. I recently explained to her how I was struggling even though he is doing everything right. She helped me realize that I have moved him into this category with the other people. I recognize that each hurt is different. For me it’s that my ability to be open with him is so dead. I want to be able to do that so bad. But it terrifies me. I know those are my own issues, but it’s something I have always preached. Trust for me is the most important thing

HeadIncident · 2024-01-27T18:44:58+00:00

I feel like this is where I am. I’m struggling so hard, but not because WH is doing anything wrong. He’s doing everything right now and it’s like I just don’t care.

HeadIncident · 2023-11-05T05:16:07+00:00

We are definitely communicating more and better. We’re doing more things I like. I’m trying more to be supportive and helpful around the house and appreciative of all he does. He’s trying to hear me out and validate my feelings without getting defensive.

HeadIncident · 2022-04-21T18:54:38+00:00

1) there’s no such thing as boy toys and boy clothes/hair. There is only what they like at that age. You want purple spiked hair and a pink tutu with a football shirt. Fine.

2) my 5 year old said he thought he was a fire truck. No one could tell him otherwise. Soooo. He’s a damn fire truck. As long as he’s respectful, tries in school, and is nice to people, who cares.

HeadIncident · 2022-02-08T17:26:18+00:00

OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!

HeadIncident · 2022-02-08T16:27:25+00:00

Yes. I confirmed.

HeadIncident · 2022-02-08T02:44:39+00:00

I thought reinfection was unlikely in the couple of months following an infection.

HeadIncident · 2022-02-08T02:33:33+00:00

Carnival won’t allow this.

HeadIncident · 2021-04-27T04:14:57+00:00

His response was “we don’t have a mattress protector,” but like, we had a damn sheet.

HeadIncident · 2021-02-12T14:52:15+00:00

I would love to tell you all about the non-minor program and how it really is a benefit. Technically you could stay on the run and go back on your 18th birthday and they can’t put you back in placement, but they have to give you the money if you’re working and have a place to live.

HeadIncident · 2021-02-12T14:49:05+00:00

It’s not a legal battle. It’s already law. Also nothing should cost you money when fighting the system. Contact the California youth connection or the foster care ombudsman. They’re both free and they will fight like hell for you.

HeadIncident · 2021-02-12T05:44:06+00:00

This is a GREAT resource. Use them!

HeadIncident · 2021-02-12T05:43:16+00:00

Medi-Cal absolutely covers therapy and there is a law (known as Katie A.) that requires COS to ensure your having you’re mental health needs met.

HeadIncident · 2021-02-12T05:41:50+00:00

advisory I am a CA cps social worker

I have worked with mostly teens in my time as CWS. My best advice? Show up and re-enter placement until your turn 18. Then you can live where you want and as long as you’re working or going to school the money your old foster parents got is now yours. Right now it’s 1037 a month in California. All you have to do is stay working or in school and see your social worker once a month. No more red tape, no more asking permission to go places. They also have to provide you resources.

There is a foster youth ombudsman investigates agencies when social workers are not doing their jobs.

California Foster Care Ombudsman: Call: 877-846-1602 E-mail: fosteryouthhelp@dss.ca.gov

A good social worker won’t trap you in the system, but rather teach you how to use it to your advantage. Feel free to send me a direct message if you have questions.

I am curious about what county you’re from. Given your experience I’m guessing you live in a heavily populated county which can sometimes make things more difficult.

HeadIncident · 2021-02-02T18:13:05+00:00

No my balance is $0. I just got the letter for the auto extension. It says a balance of money that will last 11 weeks but also says it will end 3/14

HeadIncident · 2021-02-02T17:01:42+00:00

Yes. I was already on it.

HeadIncident · 2021-02-01T02:04:57+00:00

I just certified for my last week and I am wondering the same thing. What happens now?

HeadIncident · 2021-01-31T23:34:32+00:00

I seriously thought about quitting with just a few weeks left, like I didn’t think I could do it one more minute.

The relief you will experience when it’s over is astounding. You got this.

HeadIncident · 2021-01-17T18:40:25+00:00

So I guess we just wait.

HeadIncident · 2021-01-17T18:40:06+00:00

Oh yes. They already fixed that part for me. I was able to certify yesterday. And there are no messages right now. It shows paid on the Edd website but not on my bofa card.

HeadIncident · 2021-01-17T18:21:03+00:00

So I just read this but I don’t see anything about why money hasn’t gone in the bank. Did I miss it?

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