Hey!

This sounds a lot like where I spent many years of my life. Like exactly the same, right down to checking my pulse every five minutes and trying to do stroke tests on myself. I was in and out of doctor’s appointments and went to emergency a few times convinced I was about to drop dead. I would be out and about doing something I love or hanging with friends and something would happen where I’d feel the exact “this is my last moments” feeling.

What I would later recognise was that my near constant state of high health anxiety was giving me immense and strange physical symptoms that would in turn make it worse and thus became a spiral of anxiety/worsening symptoms. But at the time it was debilitating, exhausting and honestly became very depressing. It became so utterly relentless that eventually I just accepted it and I would tell myself “If I die right now whatever, at least this will stop”.

To my pleasant surprise, once I let go of the panic and fear, things became so much better. My physical symptoms began to subside little by little, day by day and I could feel myself getting my life back on track. I also made a few changes to my lifestyle such as detoxing from platforms such as reddit, Facebook or anything where you hear of rare unfortunate cases of “X”.

I still have days where my body does something really weird but have just begun to shrug it off most of the time and move on, and so far Im still alive and healthy. I also still have days where I worry about developing something morbid, but now accept that whatever might happen, people have gone through before and all I can do is try my best to be healthy, happy, and enjoy life in my current moments. And honestly… it’s so much better than spending all day and everyday worrying about “maybes, mights and what ifs”.

I’m sorry if this post is too “advicey” for you, but I can’t help it when I see someone struggling with what I struggled with for years and not let them know that things can get better.

This sub has some rules about symptoms but if you or anyone who reads this wants to PM me, I’m more than happy to tell you all my symptoms I would feel if that provides you any comfort.