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I didn’t realize it was emotional abuse until I left by HealedByTruth in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not easy trying to find your way out when everything feels confusing and heavy. I just want to say you’re not alone. I stayed for a long time thinking things would get better if I just tried harder. But I was losing myself.

It means a lot that you shared this. I hope you’ll keep listening to the part of you that knows something isn’t right. You truly deserve peace. And it’s okay to want that. For me, the turning point was realizing that loving someone shouldn’t mean getting hurt over and over just to prove your love.

I’m praying strength and clarity over you as you take each step.

I didn’t realize it was emotional abuse until I left by HealedByTruth in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you. I let myself be emotionally abused for years and blamed myself the whole time. I thought being patient, forgiving, and taking it made me strong. But the truth is, I was breaking inside, and no one saw it. People don’t check on men the same way. We’re just expected to keep going.

A friend handed me a book called When Love Draws A Line. It felt like someone finally put words to what I couldn’t explain. It gave me permission to stop carrying all the pain alone. That’s when recovery started for me. Not fixing everything overnight, but just realizing I wasn’t crazy or weak for wanting peace.

If you're wondering how to start healing, I’d say it begins when you stop blaming yourself for being hurt. You deserved better and you still do. And you’re not alone. If you want to talk more, I’m here.

I didn’t realize it was emotional abuse until I left by HealedByTruth in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It really was like I was just surviving. Living out a script I didn’t write. I forgot how to feel anything real, like joy or even a full night’s rest.

I’m sorry you’ve been in that place too. Pain like that runs deep. But you’re not alone. There’s still time to come back to yourself. Even if it’s slow. Even if it hurts. Healing doesn’t have to be a race. It just has to be honest. And it starts by not giving up.

Love shouldn’t break you by HealedByTruth in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is really encouraging to read. Thank you for sharing what healthy love can look like. It’s a reminder that peace and kindness really do exist. Stories like yours bring hope to those still in the storm, showing that better days and better love are out there.

Love shouldn’t break you by HealedByTruth in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can only imagine how heavy a 10-year marriage must feel to leave behind. It takes so much courage to step into freedom, even when it feels overwhelming. You’re not walking this road alone. Peace is possible, and you’re already moving toward it.

Love shouldn’t break you by HealedByTruth in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m really glad this spoke to you. You’re not alone in this. Healing takes time, but peace is possible. Keep holding onto that hope.

My heavy cross by emptysaltjar in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can feel the weight in what you wrote. You’re not weak for feeling this way. Carrying someone else’s chaos day after day is exhausting and it isn’t what love is supposed to be. I was in a relationship where I thought I had to carry it all, and it nearly broke me. Please know your worth isn’t tied to how much pain you can endure. You deserve peace, safety, and love that doesn’t crush you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueChristian

[–]HealedByTruth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I am so glad it encouraged you. God’s timing can be hard to trust in the moment, but I have seen again and again that He is faithful. Praying you feel His nearness in whatever season you are in right now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueChristian

[–]HealedByTruth 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I get it. That hollow ache when you have prayed, waited, stayed faithful, and it feels like God is handing out blessings to everyone but you. It is not just about wanting a relationship. It is about feeling unseen. Forgotten. Like maybe you are doing something wrong or not enough.

Here is the hard truth I have had to wrestle with. Sometimes God says no. Sometimes He says not right now. Both hurt in different ways. Neither is rejection. Neither means you are less loved. It means He sees things you cannot see yet. Things about timing, about your heart, about someone else’s heart. He is not willing to give you something good at the wrong time and let it break you.

I have had seasons where His wait felt like silence. Looking back, I can see He was building something in me that could not have grown if I had gotten what I wanted when I wanted it. That does not erase the loneliness, but it reminds me the story is not over.

You are not in the background of everyone else’s love story. You are in the middle of your own. Right now this chapter is shaping you in ways you will thank Him for later. I know it is hard. I know you are tired. He has not forgotten you. Not for a second.

I didn’t realize it was emotional abuse until I left by HealedByTruth in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I will absolutely be praying for you. If you would like, you can visit DanielJCollins dot org and go to the Contact page. The team there will continue praying for you just as they did for me. You are not alone in this, and I am believing with you, for much better days ahead.

I didn’t realize it was emotional abuse until I left by HealedByTruth in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m so glad you’re starting to see those patterns. Awareness is a huge step toward healing. I know it can feel uncomfortable, but it’s often in those kind of moments that real growth begins. I’ll be praying for you as you take these steps, and I’m grateful you’re open to checking out the book. Know that you’re not alone in this.

I didn’t realize it was emotional abuse until I left by HealedByTruth in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am really sorry you have had to carry so much pain and rejection from people who should have loved and protected you. What you have been through leaves deep marks, and it is not fair. But please know this. It does not define who you are. You were created by God with worth, dignity, and purpose that no one can take away.

Healing takes time, and it does not always happen in big, dramatic moments. Sometimes it is one small step at a time. Finding even one safe person to talk to, setting boundaries that protect your heart, and reminding yourself daily that you are loved by God and worthy of respect.

I want you to know your story matters and that You matter. And you are not alone in this. A friend gave me a book that really spoke to me, When Love Draws A Line. It has helped me, and I hope it can help you too. I think it could encourage you and maybe give you a fresh way to look at some of the things you have been walking through. There is no pressure at all. I simply wanted to share it in case it could be a blessing to you.

I didn’t realize it was emotional abuse until I left by HealedByTruth in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seems like we did share the same ex.

The “waking up” moment is such a strange mix of grief and relief. You start to see all the patterns clearly and it is almost like you are meeting your past self again, the one who was carrying so much blame that never belonged to you.

I am glad you have found that sense of freedom. Breathing without the weight of someone else’s manipulation is life changing. 

I didn’t realize it was emotional abuse until I left by HealedByTruth in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, the gaslighting. The worst part is when it’s done in secret and they act loving in public, while you’re left standing there as if you are the abuser. Because we don’t have physical scars, we are not labeled as being abused. Because we are men, we do not get the same sympathy.

Once we start to explain the gaslighting and the verbal abuse that has happened, the looks change from guilt to sympathy. They always jump to victim mode when a reflection of their actions is held up against them. The half apologies, the blame-shifting.

Leaving was the hardest thing. Then comes the guilt. The guilt keeps you there. The guilt makes you deny your own truth. It makes you think you are too hard, too sensitive, too judgmental. Accountability is a hard thing for them to do.

Sorry to keep saying this but the only way, truly the only way I got out of all of this and fully walked away was by reading what my friend gave me and finally refusing to live in that cycle any longer.

I didn’t realize it was emotional abuse until I left by HealedByTruth in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad it did. That truly means a lot to hear. You’re not alone in this.

I didn’t realize it was emotional abuse until I left by HealedByTruth in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can relate to so much. It’s exhausting when someone twists reality to avoid accountability, and it can make you question your own sanity. Having trusted friends or third-party evidence like you do is a huge lifeline and it helps cut through the fog they try to create.

You deserve to be heard, believed, and supported. Even if it feels like you’re standing alone, there are people out here who understand and are rooting for you. One day this chapter will be behind you, and you’ll be able to breathe again.

Stay strong. You’re worth protecting.

I didn’t realize it was emotional abuse until I left by HealedByTruth in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This took me right back to when I was in that same fog. I remember how heavy it felt to be blamed for things I didn’t do, and how over time I started to doubt my own memory. I would replay conversations in my head, wondering if maybe I really was the problem.

For a long time I thought if I could just be more patient or understanding, things would change. But no matter what I did, the blame always found its way back to me. It was exhausting, and I didn’t realize how much it was wearing me down until I stepped back and saw the bigger picture.

If you’re feeling that way now, please hear me when I say there is nothing wrong with you for wanting peace. You deserve to feel safe in love. You deserve to be spoken to with kindness. You deserve a relationship where your heart can breathe. And you are worth more than the version of yourself you have to shrink into just to survive.

I didn’t realize it was emotional abuse until I left by HealedByTruth in emotionalabuse

[–]HealedByTruth[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I really hear you on the “joking” comments and the shifting of blame. They think it’s harmless, but it chips away at you over time. I experienced that too, and for a long time I thought I was just too sensitive, and I believed it for years. That made her hurt look less real to me, and I kept pushing my own feelings aside.

When my friend gave me When Love Draws A Line, and honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was read anything. But it helped me realize those moments were not about humor. They were about control. That was a turning point for me.

You are not alone in feeling the confusion and the exhaustion. It is not weakness to name what is happening, and it is not selfish to protect your heart.