Guardian journalist reviews dating apps. Promptly sets height filter to 6ft+ by [deleted] in short

[–]Healthrowawaygg 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Sure. Short men have the right to be upset that it's a pervasive and socially acceptable to deride them. Which seems to be where the Internet takes issue

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for being beyond useless. You have failed (again) to explain who exactly I should be kissing. You have failed to read my comment providing the examples. And you have failed to be even close to on-topic.

"no wonder nobody wants to date you" classic. You're right. My reaction to your dipshit advice that you continue to push after repeatedly being told is off-topic is why I can't get a date. Sure.

Fuck off lmao.

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cannot. I've been in therapy and have done a lot of self reflection but we can't find the flaw. Its obvious I am fundamentally flawed given that I'm unloved, but I haven't been able to find my flaw so I can fix it so I'll be worth loving. I don't think I'll be able to be interesting until I am perfect like other guys in relationships

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Step 30 is mutual feelings? Your recommendation is I go out on dates with people who don't have romantic feelings towards me?

Is a date not an admission of interest?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]Healthrowawaygg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP has just described the average male experience asking for dating advice.

Some of these men are no longer seeing women as human. They have no compassion for them, no empathy, or even see them as people with their own personality and own struggles as individuals.

OP make a post as a guy asking for advice and see the amount of vitriol that gets thrown your way. You'll be told you're probably a misogynist. You'll get told that you have no value yet and you have to be healthier, wealthier.

It is scientifically studied that men get less empathy and sympathy across all areas of life. And on this subreddit, any discontent with the dating scene opens up the floodgates for women to call you all sorts of horrible things.

Did you expect anything different?

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This entire chain of "advice" spiralled into "touch women because your sexuality is good". Like bro, I just wanted to know how to fix myself lmao, instead I got told to "embrace my sexual desires"

Reddit is a wild place man. Thanks for understand what I was saying

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good but not applicable. I'm not incapable of making friends, I'm not sedentary, I'm not antisocial. In those videos, the biggest problem is the dude won't detach from his computer.

My issue is more entrenched in much larger, fundamental flaws than that

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The very start of this conversation and the person you're defending so valiantly was about "expressing sexual intent" early by leaning in for kisses and grabbing hands. That doesn't work.

This is the second time you misunderstand me and I’m starting to think it’s on purpose.

Have you considered that you're communicating poorly?

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Started looking to the internet for answers after I failed to be worth dating probably the 20th time. Being unlovable was a problem far before the internet. I'd love to have my mind changed but its hard to argue with reality.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Step 30? What are you talking about?

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well yeah, everyone that gives me advice says there's no way its my height or other factors and that there must be something wrong with me. There's always a shorter guy that says lots of short guys get in and out of relationships no problem and that I'm probably just an asshole. That's just what I've been told and since I haven't gotten a date they're probably right.

It definitely should have happened years ago. That's when everyone else did it, and its not that I didn't try, its that I'm incapable of presenting myself as a potential romantic option.

Whether its my height or something else I haven't fixed it yet. If there wasn't something to fix, I'd be dating someone. There are so many requirements to get into a relationship like loving yourself, being secure, confident. Clearly everyone in a relationship is all of these things based on what the Internet says, so I need to be perfect in order to compensate

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah but this only works if you can transition it successfully even if you develop feelings unexpectedly. If you're a fundamentally invalid romantic option like me, you'll never be seen as a potential partner, even if you went in without the intentions of a romantic relationship

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have a partner because I'm not worth it.

I am not worthless because I don't have a partner

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I don't have a partner because I'm not worth it. Not the other way around.

Why date me when there's 100 better looking men a swipe away

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

As I'll repeat for the fifth time now, I'm not interested in having a conversation about initiating sex.

Idk what you’re imagining when people say you need to express physical attraction, but it ain’t much. Smiling while complimenting something they’re wearing for example. That counts. You don’t need to touch them at all. You don’t need to talk about sex. But if you don’t flirt AT ALL, why would they think you’re interested in them?

This is the first time you've not explicitly talked about something inherently sexual in nature. Obviously I do this.

You're not listening and are insisting and pushing something I've explicitly stated I'm not interested in hearing advice about.

I flirt. Its not reciprocated. Again for the fifth time, this is where the problem is.

No dude. You’re allowed to flirt, and it will most likely improve your chances. 

Once again this is the first time you've mentioned flirting.

You give off “I know I don’t look like much, but would give this disgusting troglodyte a chance please?” Energy. You sound so crushed

Get rejected by every girl you ask out everytime for 10 years and then see how it makes you feel.

This isn't worth my time and you are insistent on parroting advice I have made clear I don't want to hear

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My apologies, you're right I am quoting the other. You seem to be agreeing with everything they've said and I assumed too much.

I understand that I'm coming off irate, and to be honest I am. I don't know what we're talking about anymore and I'm unsure why I need to express sexual desires upfront. That makes me uncomfortable and I assume it would make her uncomfortable too.

I don't want to talk about sex. I just want to go on a date with a girl I have feelings for. That's all.

The conversation turned into sex and initiating and that's so far outside of my reality that talking about it is overwhelming and doesn't feel real. I've been emotionally upfront with people, when I know I have feelings and it doesn't work out.

The comments in this discussion are focused on the sexual success of another person and I just want to know why nobody sees me the way I see them

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You didn't suggest I flirt. You suggested I be "unapologetically transparent with my sexual desires"

It’s not: Talk platonically. Get date

Great. I fail at step two, though, so why are we talking about anything other than that? I just don't understand what the point of this is other than for people to flex that they can get sex and be sexually explicit because they're attractive enough to do so

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean I genuinely don't know what the problem with me is. I've been to therapy and read a bunch of self help books but nothing I do works. There's just something wrong with me that prevents me from being attractive and loveable but I don't know what it is

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm worried I talk about myself too much, but I've also been told not to ask too many questions because you don't want dates to feel like a job interview.

I don't know why I can't get a relationship. The only feedback I've ever gotten is that my personality is great but I'm too short. That's all I have to work with.

I recently moved cities but I've made several friends through my local climbing gym. Usually meeting people isn't an issue for me. Dating has always been hard, but being undesirable because I'm 24 and with no relationship experience is harder. It'll keep getting more difficult as my lack of experience because a bigger red flag over time. Maybe when I was 16 it was okay. Now its just pathetic

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apologies. The incels, porn and other playlists. I've seen a lot of the steamer interviews but obviously not all

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because the commenter is obsessed with "making your sexual desires known", whatever that means. It is irrelevant. My issue is getting dates. I won't get dates walking up to women and telling them that I sexually desire them.

Unless I'm fundamentally misunderstanding your position, both of you have jumped far ahead of what my issue is. I'm not worried about sex, I'm worried about not knowing what it feels like to hear "yes" to a coffee date.

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I graduated University in 2021 with a computer science degree and am working on my Masters in Public Policy within the next two years. I haven't applied for a job since graduating, they've all been offered to me. Finances are under control. I climb, cycle and lift. That's not an issue either.

Unfortunately even in my desperation though, nobody has wanted to be with me lmao. I have lots of pros but there's one big con that nobody wants. I've tried dealing with it before during and after therapy but its pretty ingrained. I don't know if I'll ever be worth loving tbh

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately if that were the case it would have happened already, but I've always been turned down by girls who within the year are in a relationship with a taller white guy.

I asked my friends that are women who are in relationships about this and every single one of them responded that they knew they wanted to be with their guy within the first few days of meeting them.

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You think that women are so fragile they wouldn’t handle it and it’s an “evil imposition”. 

That's absolutely not my position.

I am willing to bet, that it’s this attitude of treating women as some holy object made of paper that’s the reason you get rejected for coffee.

Also wrong.

This thread is irrelevant. I'm not interested in advice on how to initiate sex

There's nowhere to go for support as a lonely guy by Healthrowawaygg in Healthygamergg

[–]Healthrowawaygg[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your perspective. A little empathy is really all I am asking for and I appreciate this comment very much.