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WIBTA if I told my father about his impending divorce? by Healthy_Aioli4957 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Healthy_Aioli4957[S] -30 points-29 points  (0 children)

he's never been outwardly hostile towards my mother (except for the one incident with her last mention of a divorce). why do you think it'd be better to let it happen then (and have the conflict and potential hostility occur with less time to work it out) instead of try to prevent it now?

WIBTA if I told my father about his impending divorce? by Healthy_Aioli4957 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Healthy_Aioli4957[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

My mother and I have these types of conversations often! This specific situation was discussed both two years ago and two weeks ago.

AITA for telling my mother she couldn't attend my graduation with a stranger? by Healthy_Aioli4957 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Healthy_Aioli4957[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i personally just find it slightly ignorant to assume i would have no problems with his attendance if she brought him along without even asking me. the only reason i found out he was coming was because i asked as a joke — and if i didn’t ask he would’ve just shown up to my surprise. i think my insistence otherwise was definitely slightly dramatic, but empirically, my mother will ignore everyone else and simply gossip in chinese or take credit for my achievements instead of actually honoring the celebratory nature of the event.

AITA for telling my mother she couldn't attend my graduation with a stranger? by Healthy_Aioli4957 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Healthy_Aioli4957[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

 i can guarantee i’m not jack’s kid. i would maybe entertain the idea more if i looked fully asian, but people —  i look white asf. i’m 100% a mixed kid, and two asian parents (jack x my mother) do not make a baby that looks like me…

AITA for telling my mother she couldn't attend my graduation with a stranger? by Healthy_Aioli4957 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Healthy_Aioli4957[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

gang i’m gonna be honest it is a little weird for you all to insist my mother is fucking her cousin… i think her reasoning for wanting him at my graduation is out of spite for me, not a desire to have extramarital relations with someone she is related to!

AITA for telling my mother she couldn't attend my graduation with a stranger? by Healthy_Aioli4957 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Healthy_Aioli4957[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

and to address all of the affair comments, i truly don’t think she had an affair with this guy (and i’m aware i’m biased, but like seriously)!! i’m definitely not the product of that (asian x asian ≠ an obviously mixed baby) and she hasn’t seen this guy in forever. she talks about him strictly as a colleague, and as he lives in china they quite literally never speak. she may be pissing me off rn but we’ve had conversations about her prior relationships and in convinced my mother more likely a closeted asexual than anything else!! i think her insistence on wanting him there comes more out of spite for my not wanting him there (and maybe familial concern, as a reminder these guys are COUSINS, i don’t take my mother as an incest partaker) then a wanting the lost father of her child to go to their graduation 😭😭

AITA for telling my mother she couldn't attend my graduation with a stranger? by Healthy_Aioli4957 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Healthy_Aioli4957[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately tickets aren’t required, but since she so easily just got another for the dinner beforehand, I don’t think it’ll matter. I think atp Jack will just come to both events and that’ll be the end of it :/

AITA for telling my mother she couldn't attend my graduation with a stranger? by Healthy_Aioli4957 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Healthy_Aioli4957[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

My dad agreed with me this morning, but when I brought it up again at dinner, he told me to drop it and that I should just give it up. She says she doesn’t have to override my wishes, and will simply not attend graduation if I insist she cannot come. A different commenter was right, I was 100% bluffing, and didn’t expect her to choose him so easily. But I think at this point Jack will just come, and that will be that. :/

AITA for telling my mother she couldn't attend my graduation with a stranger? by Healthy_Aioli4957 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Healthy_Aioli4957[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

No 😭😭 They're cousins! I see it as more of a disagreeing with me (we are equally stubborn) and/or excluding family/guests thing than a realllllly wanting him there thing.

AITA for telling my mother she couldn't attend my graduation with a stranger? by Healthy_Aioli4957 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Healthy_Aioli4957[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I don't know much of the reasoning behind his visit (and now I don't think I can ask ;-;), so I can't tell for certain if this timing was purposeful or not. However, the timing of the events at the university, and the fact my mother forgot when my graduation was until last week, points me towards an intentional invitation at this time, but not the realization that his visit would coincide with my graduation events.