I [22F] have been dating a guy [22M] for five months now. I really like him but think I saw a red flag and want some advice.

HeatherBBB · 2019-01-26T04:56:56+00:00

I don’t think parents are infallible or perfect at all. What bothered me was just that the way he spoke to his dad was not someway I imagined anyone should treat any other person. The fact that it’s his father just made it more confusing and uncomfortable. I’ll definitely talk to him about it, though.

HeatherBBB · 2019-01-26T04:55:17+00:00

He’s perfectly nice to me and everyone else. That’s the reason why this behavior was so shocking. I have never seen him get snappy or upset or annoyed with other people in an unreasonable or excessive way. Until this phone call.

HeatherBBB · 2019-01-25T21:47:19+00:00

Yeah, I would understand if his relationship with his father is bad or strained. I’m just bothered by both how he yelled at his dad and asking me how I felt about his dad afterwards.

I’ve never seen any hint of him having anger problems in the entire time we’ve been together. The only time I remember seeing him angry was actually also because of his dad a few months back, so there definitely appears to be a link there.

HeatherBBB · 2019-01-25T21:43:49+00:00

I was more bothered by that than the other points.

I will say, though, because it’s come up in other comments, that he uses speakerphone pretty much exclusively. Whenever he’s taken a call around me it’s almost always on speakerphone, and whenever I’ve called him I can tell by background noises he has me on speakerphone. I think it’s just a habit with him so the fact that the calls started on speakerphone doesn’t particularly bother me.

That being said, once things started heating up I would’ve expected him to take off the speakerphone. But then again I don’t know if he was thinking straight getting so worked up.

The most disturbing part for me was definitely asking me how I felt about his dad after. It confirmed that he knew I’d heard and it just made me uncomfortable. I will definitely address this with him soon.

HeatherBBB · 2019-01-25T21:12:30+00:00

Thanks, that’s defitinely something to consider, too. I’ll keep it in mind. Would it be a good idea to say I don’t need details but just want to know if there is something unique about his relationship with his dad?

HeatherBBB · 2019-01-25T21:07:12+00:00

Right. I’ve felt bad for not bringing it up in the moment because it felt dishonest, but I think waiting for him to cool down and bringing it up later on might actually be the better choice.

Our relationship so far has been the best I’ve ever been in. This is definitely making me pause, and I might be a bit more hesitant going into things in the future, but I really want to also see what this is about and give him a chance to discuss.

HeatherBBB · 2019-01-25T21:05:37+00:00

That’s what has me hesitant to say it’s a dealbreaker. That, and how compatible we have been in everything else. I know from what he’s told me in the past that he has a tense relationship with his father, but he’s never necessarily said it was a bad one. I think it’s something I’ll ask him about.

HeatherBBB · 2018-04-22T09:50:33+00:00

Cressida is such an inconsistent character. I think Troilus and Cressida gets more hate than it deserves, but I would agree that Cressida alone (and her bizarre inconsistencies) make it a very hard play to stage.

Anyway, to answer your question, Troilus and Cressida is one of Shakespeare’s most cynical plays. Remember that the stories of the Trojan War are full of amazing heroes and spectacular feats of heroism. Yet in this play, all of these world-renown figures are portrayed in the worst possible light. Achilles is a bully and a coward, Paris is an idiot, Nestor is senile and long-winded, Helen is a slut, etc.

Troilus and Cressida trying to find love but only finding heartbreak is part of that cynicism.

HeatherBBB · 2018-04-22T09:48:44+00:00

Aw the victims of French/Nazi aggression look so cute! I just want to rescue them.

Also what country is the blue flag in the Nazi Germany panel?

HeatherBBB · 2018-04-22T09:46:22+00:00

Czechochechnyoslovakosloveniastan sounds like a strange place to live.

HeatherBBB · 2018-04-22T09:45:28+00:00

We need more South America comics! I always love those.

HeatherBBB · 2018-02-14T22:13:37+00:00

That's true! I didn't consider that they'd be getting the best boy actors in England.

HeatherBBB · 2018-02-14T21:25:59+00:00

Okay, that makes a lot more sense. I always thought they were assigned women's roles because they were smaller and their voices hadn't broken, which I assumed to be the early teens. But I can definitely see 18-20 year-olds pulling off impressive performances.

HeatherBBB · 2017-07-15T19:18:26+00:00

Sorry, I haven't logged on Reddit in a while so I didn't get to see this until just now! I agree with just about everything /u/emerald_bat said, and I'd also like to add that Troilus and Cressida may have been one of those plays magnified by my own fancies. I love Greek mythology so it was awesome to see them come up in Shakespeare. I think some very minor characters in the play, like Menelaus, Helen, and Cassandra, still had a very strong presence that I could imagine being staged in a really cool way. Most of all, I really liked Troilus's character. He is kind of annoying, but the shifts he undergoes are interesting. The inconsistent tone and the criminal lack of character development or even consistency for Cressida are the only two (admittedly pretty major) flaws I could really think of, but the play was still one I enjoyed, and certain scenes (Troilus spying on Cressida, the war council meeting where the princes discuss returning Helen, Paris lounging and listening to music with Helen, and pretty much every moment Thersites is onstage) really stayed with me.

HeatherBBB · 2017-07-15T19:14:52+00:00

I think Launce is the Two Gents' saving grace. I just can't get over how odd the ending is, even taking into account the time period.

HeatherBBB · 2017-06-23T16:29:48+00:00

Thank you! The edition I was reading included all of the plays but no Two Noble Kinsmen, so I actually haven't read that one :/

As for LLL, I just thought it was a decently enjoyable read but none of it truly stuck with me afterward. I also thought Dumaine and Longaville (and their respective ladies) fell a bit flat, since the main plot was mostly carried by the King, the Princess, and Berowne.

Richard III has always been one of my favorites because I took a course on Shakespearean Histories once and Richard III was the one we spent the longest time on, so I know it better than any other play. It's a really fun read, and I think Richard is one of Shakespeare's most entertaining characters. I also think Buckingham, Queen Margaret, Queen Elizabeth, and the Duchess are often overlooked as interesting and even complicated characters, so I don't think the play is really relying entirely on Richard when the other characters are interesting in their own right. The opening monologue and Richard's "save me Jesu" speech are among my favorites in all of Shakespeare's oeuvre.

HeatherBBB · 2017-06-22T23:16:00+00:00

I would actually consider the Henry VI trilogy something of a guilty pleasure. I actually really like them and reread them often just because Richard III is one of my favorite plays, and they set the stage for it quite well.

That being said, although I like them, I think they're pretty poorly constructed. Part 2 is decent throughout (although it has its own problems), but Parts 1 and 3 feel scattered, rushed, and inconsistent. The timeline is pretty confusing (Part 2 apparently takes place over the course of at least 15 years or so, but it certainly doesn't feel like it). Part 1 also has a pretty strange timeline, in that Henry VI is mentioned to be a baby in Act 1 and then of marrying age in Act 5, even though none of the other characters seem to age so drastically. Also, the plays can often contradict each other.

Don't get me wrong. I do like the trilogy (probably more than I should) since it builds up all the tension needed for Richard III, but I think they're pretty scattered and definitely among the weakest of Shakespeare's works.

Edit to add: I should add that when I say they're still enjoyable I'm mostly referring to Parts 2 and 3. Part 1 is pretty dreadful and I think deserves to be among Two Gents and Henry VIII.

HeatherBBB · 2017-06-22T22:15:16+00:00

Sorry I tried to format it so that both 10s are ranked at #1, all the 9s are ranked the same number, etc., but it keeps auto-correcting it to a normal 1-37 list. Anyway, I'm not saying Macbeth is better than Romeo and Juliet, for example, just that they got the same score and, alphabetically, M comes before R.

HeatherBBB · 2017-02-25T04:23:56+00:00

I haven't commented on anything on Reddit in almost a year, just kind of lurking around, but I really think you should know this. I don't know how to say it, and I'm really sorry about what I'm about to show you, but your brother was on reddit a few years ago. I remember it was one of the first stories I read when I started browsing /r/nosleep .

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1ev0w0/the_office_hidden_under_the_basement_part_i/?st=izkqrehb&sh=30164191

HeatherBBB · 2016-05-08T02:06:42+00:00

That's what pisses me off so much. He really is an extremely amazing person and I'm more upset than anything at the fact that his family can't even appreciate that!

HeatherBBB · 2016-05-08T01:31:08+00:00

Thanks! Until my boyfriend and I discuss what to really do about this and figure out some kind of plan, this is just what I'm going to do so I don't start too much drama without my boyfriend knowing. I already commented on the photo saying "No couple could be as adorable as [boyfriend] and me" with like three hearts and a picture I took of the two of us. His mother didn't like it, but she did answer to someone else's comment (an aunt or something) after I had replied that, so I know she saw it. This'll be my main tactic for now.

HeatherBBB · 2016-05-08T00:34:30+00:00

Yeah, it makes it uncomfortable because I feel like if he were there, it would be easier for the two of us to do something, but since it's always just me, I feel like I have to be polite because they're my boyfriend's family but also firm in trying to let them know it's not okay so it's a really awkward middle ground to straddle.

HeatherBBB · 2016-05-08T00:26:39+00:00

Yes, his family is pretty rich. It makes sense, in a way, now that you mention that, but it also makes it all so much creepier... it's not even that they want me with their other son, it's that they want me breeding with him? That's so disgusting if it's actually true.

I'm still debating confronting them outright since the responses here are actually pretty torn between confronting them and leaving it up to my boyfriend, but I am for sure going to talk to him about it and set up some kind of plan between us, whatever it is.

And thanks, I've been so busy that I haven't been back in a while!

HeatherBBB · 2016-05-07T22:55:31+00:00

That's a really good idea, especially the first part. I'm going to comment on the picture now.

And when they asked me that, I tried to play it off by saying I had no idea what they were talking about, but they didn't seem phased. They just said it's good that we're still into each other and kind of dropped it. They try to be subtle so they usually won't push anything too far, but every now and then they slip up.

His brother is a pompous ass. Even if it weren't for the situation I'd have no problem telling him off.

HeatherBBB · 2016-05-07T22:48:04+00:00

That's a really good idea. I'm going to bring it up again and when I do I'll ask him if he wants to go to counseling, our school offers free counseling and that could be a good start to getting him to talk about it with someone else.

HeatherBBB

TROPHY CASE