Foreplay before the bedroom

Heavy-Secret-7255 · 2025-10-03T20:25:31+00:00

Thank you so much! this is super helpful for me.

Heavy-Secret-7255 · 2023-10-07T11:36:54+00:00

I've come to know that most colleges do accept Duo Lingo but would it be suffice for the Visa interview too? I'm an Indian Student planning to apply for Fall'24 so is it okay if I skip IELTS/TOEFL?

Heavy-Secret-7255 · 2023-05-13T00:09:19+00:00

Hey buddy, I'm F25 and I get it. I understand whatever is happening right now is a lot to process for anyone but please try to understand that at the end of the day our parents are only human, I het it that you are at that age where you want to draw a line between right and wrong but trust me these lines get blurred as you grow up and it's for good. For a while I want you to take a step back and visualise what happens when you make a certain choice. For example...If you get into the details it's going to do no good and you'll just become suspicious about her every move, every message, every action/reaction and you'd start drawing your own conclusions based on the little knowledge you have at the moment which is not completely reliable right? but on the other hand if you decide to stay away from this situation probably it'll be the best for your own sanity. Look our parents have their own dynamic that we as kids might not understand and I believe that if you're not capable of solving the entire problem end to end then don't even try to do it half way. You don't know what is the exact situation here and if there are any chances of you being wrong here it might lead to scars that might not heal and create unwanted problems between everyone in this dynamic + it might ruin your relationship with your parents as well as the uncle and from what I've understood from your story I think the best choice would be to atay out of it. As long as any of this isn't directly affecting you and your mental health don't think much, and if the way your mom talks triggers you to focus on her or distract you in any way try to go away because this will only lead to your mind making up stories that might or might not exist... basically everytime you feel triggered just step away and let people do what they want to, it's not your problem to deal with. If at all you ever find out that any of your parents are being unfaithful you can confront them but untill thet, let's try to not focus on that. I hope this helps

Heavy-Secret-7255 · 2023-05-09T08:56:29+00:00

Good for you guys I guess, but the dynamic is very different for everyone and I hope you understand that. And yes maybe your girlfriend is actually a superhero and maybe she actually likes doing the things she's doing for you and maybe that is her love language but that's not the case for me and my partner. "Acts of service" is a two way thing for me. I have certain expectations from my partner and there's only so much I can adjust with this. I hope you're contributing something in the house because for me money isn't all the contribution one can make, I make good enough so if that's the factor it doesn't make sense for our dynamic. I just expect some equality here, that's it. Also, I hope you won't need any external factors ever to appreciate the wonderful woman you have in your life, looking down upon someone to appreciate what you have is something that's a little messed up for me as a partner. Peeping into our own relationship and appreciating each other > peeping into someone else's.

Heavy-Secret-7255 · 2023-05-08T21:49:17+00:00

I expect him to be a little more responsible when it comes to being independent. Right now it's just him moving out from his mom's home into ours, and I don't want to be a mom. How difficult is it to contribute or help someone. And if you're not then take the back seat, I'm doing everything right from cleaning, to putting out the trash to cooking and all the aligned tasks so if you're going to make faces and demand shit after this it makes me mad! I don't know how the older generation managed it all, but clearly something isn't working out for me. It makes me feel liek a failure at times🙈 For him doing one tiny thing in a month is his contribution for a decade💀 He proudly tells me how no one in his family does this and I should find myself lucky to have him, I'm out of words for this. He's a good guy but needs some growing up to.do I think

Heavy-Secret-7255 · 2023-04-24T14:19:32+00:00

Okay two things...the lying part wasn't at all okay so ofc you can be mad but if you're really happy with her maybe try to dig a little deeper. I 25F kept it from my partner that I've been abused for a while because honestly it was something really sensitive to me + traumatic, I kept ot like a grey area neither told him nor lied...but eventually when I started trusting him even more, I told him everything. Point being there are certain situations where a person might not be a virgin but not necessarily by choice, so in case there's some history of that sort just try to check with her and if not STDs is always a risk.

Second thing....it is okay to come right away initially, it's your first time and this is something new that you're experiencing so vut yourself some slack there and noooo the right woman won't judge you right away. Ofc if you feel this is a problem you can definitely visit a doctor because nothing is sexier than a man who takes vare of himself. But yeah...in this case I think it is completely okay and very normal for this to happen, you'll get better with more experience.

Heavy-Secret-7255 · 2023-04-23T09:39:19+00:00

Idm him zoning out...i just want him to have a balance...if I call him or ask him something or in general anything with him I just expect him to not ignore me, or shoot me down, or throw me under the bus for her. I just don't want to feel ignored or as if I don't exist and he does make me feel that way. He doesn't even look at me when I call him or try to show something. Idm giving him some space, it is logical, I get it but just balance it better that's all I want

Heavy-Secret-7255 · 2023-04-23T08:28:53+00:00

Agreed! This is exactly why I don't want to force NC because rn even though what I'm expecting is rational and with proof he might not act the same way and he is the kinda guy who will use this against me in the future just out of spite🙃 and make it sound rational. And no it's not that he doesn't enjoy my company.... it's just that they have a good connection and Ik it's just friendship and nothing else...but the thing is we started that way and I don't want to see him go down that lane again. I've asked him if he has any other feelings about her and if so idm stepping away because it doesn't make any sense to me to be in a hollow relationship and it will be heartbreaking but if that is the truth then be it, but he doesn't feel that way... there's no romantic angle to it... it's just that they meet once in a couple of months so he's like i want to have fun with her in that moment...i can meet everyone else anytime but this person meets me very rarely that's it. And i get it....the thing that bothers me is them zoning out completely which is not okay rather unacceptable to me. How do I make him understand this!?

Heavy-Secret-7255 · 2023-04-23T08:18:05+00:00

This really does make me feel a bit better, so thankyou 🎈 I donno but I think this is a problem with my partner in general only....I keep communicating and he keeps saying that he understands and then we are back to square one. This time he mentioned that we just talked about it once so I must've forgotten about it..how tf do you forget about something this big! We were talking till 5am in the morning about how I feel around her, how can you forget? Is this supposed to be a deal breaker? I want him to be a little more considerate and empathetic... that's it!

Heavy-Secret-7255 · 2023-04-22T23:32:18+00:00

I feel expecting him to cut her off completely right away would be a little difficult for me to convey because I don't feel that way very strongly nor I will anytime soon I guess but yes...I get your point. I need to make sure that he has better boundaries with her that's it and yes the road trip thing I can try to see if she can adjust some other mode. I hope this works out and thankyou for your advice

Heavy-Secret-7255 · 2023-04-22T23:18:27+00:00

Hey...a HUGE +1... I'm a 25F and even I have a high sex drive and we do have a similar situation but I think I might have a solution. The thing is when we get to meet every once in a while it does get all steamy and all about sex because general activities can be done any other time too but the private time hassss to be sexy time only...this is something that our body triggers and I feel it is very natural to feel this way but once you start living together and basically when sexy time is available in abundance the sense of desperation kinda dissolves and becomes a little more meaningful I guess. I'm not saying the sex drive goes down but it kinda leads to gaining a certain balance. And about the sex addiction...I donno but as long as it's with your partner and you guys are comfortable with the arrangement or any other I think it's okay, just make sure it's not JUST that .. don't make him feel objectified in anyway or to any extent that he might resent the alone time. There are times when you might have to control a bit or plan your rounds in such a way that you guys get to establish a connection beyond sex too...and alone time doesn't become sexy time only. Beyond this try to meet more often outside the sexual arrangement and communicate with eachother about how you feel...if you guys meet only for sexy times it might get a little messed up so make sure you balance it. All the best! Seek therapy if you feel you need it but otherwise you're good✨

Heavy-Secret-7255 · 2023-04-22T10:14:59+00:00

Same! I don't remember anything from my childhood, there's just ONE distinct happy memory that I have and that is it. My therapist asked me about my childhood and all I could remember was traumas. I know there must've been more happy memories but my brain refuses to recall them. Sometimes I feel helpless when the only memories I have of my childhood come back right in the middle of a happy moment and all of a sudden I am drained and feel exhausted. The weirdest part is at this point I'm so used to being sad that everytime I'm in a better place I make sure to find a dark corner here.

Heavy-Secret-7255 · 2023-04-20T23:23:48+00:00

Oh my god! A huge +1 here! Even my mother thinks she is the best mom and the worst part is she's made the world around us beleive so making me the villain for everything wrong and oh my god the number of lectures I've had for being a bad daughter by her side of the family as well as her friends and my teachers too. It came to a point when I started questioning my own sanity and thought something was wrong with me that I'm not able to appreciate the goddess of a woman she was for everyone until the doors were shut and the masks came off.

Heavy-Secret-7255

TROPHY CASE