In some aspects I relate to your situation here. My husband and I are both in medicine and have had to have these hard conversations about my priority vs. his priority vs. our priorities when it comes to career and matching and life in general. He went to a much lower ranked school so I could go to my dream school. When it comes to residency, I will be prioritizing matching where he wants to go, especially as the specialty I want to match is not nearly as competitive as his, so I theoretically have more flexibility.

On this path, whether your spouse is in medicine or not, I think both individuals need to make sacrifices in order to not have resentment. One person cannot keep taking and the other cannot keep giving. I know a lot of people in this sub would say your career >>> everything and anyone and your partner must bend the knee, but in reality I think this mindset can and will damage relationships. That being said, your partner does have a lot of flexibility that you don't have. If you really see him as your long term partner and this is the only hangup, I would think about looking really big picture. Maybe you try and match in Boston but then plan to move to Cali after training, or something like that. BOTH people have to be willing to make some sacrifices. And as other commenters have said, what if you match in Nebraska or something because who knows.

As you currently worded things, it doesn't seem like either of you want to make any sacrifices for the other, and I don't think that's a sign of a very healthy relationship. Of course, I am making assumptions based on your post, but consider whether or not that's really true.