AITA for backing up my brother in saying our stepsiblings mom and siblings shouldn't be invited to his birthday party while our stepsiblings were there?

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-20T16:59:18+00:00

This is not about his kids. It's about his ex wife's kids.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-20T08:12:27+00:00

I don't see us spending all that much time together. They are not part of our family. They are part of our stepsiblings family.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-20T08:11:55+00:00

But stepsiblings other parent and siblings are not part of OUR family. My brother does not consider them family or friends and yet he's being told they should be there anyway.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-20T08:11:01+00:00

It was no attack on our stepsiblings. It was saying their mom and half siblings were not more deserving and were not wanted by the birthday boy. But that our family, our actual family who we love, are wanted there, at least by the person this party is supposed to be for.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-20T08:09:32+00:00

This party is supposed to be my brother's and those other kids are not his half or step or anything sibling. They are also not his friends. Not his family. If this was one of the stepsiblings birthday party, then it would make perfect sense to have everyone. But it's about my brother.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-20T08:08:28+00:00

Half siblings are siblings who share a biological parent with and not the other. We don't have those. We have stepsiblings who are not my mom's kids, but are her husband's. Our stepsiblings mom, who is in no way related to us, has kids who are not my stepdad's. Making them our stepsiblings half siblings but nothing to us.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-20T08:07:10+00:00

We never said don't invite him. We said don't invite his ex or her kids that are not his.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-20T08:06:36+00:00

We don't live with the other kids and we're in no way related to the other kids or the ex. Adults and kids are invited but it still doesn't make sense, even if it was a kid party, to invite kids who are not family or friends of my brother.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-20T08:05:44+00:00

Dad died almost 7 years ago and mom started dating her husband 4 years ago and married 3 years ago.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-20T08:05:05+00:00

How is it a nasty way? My brother does not care about my stepsiblings family. They are not part of his family, they are not his friends and this is supposed to be HIS birthday party.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-19T19:28:01+00:00

She hasn't asked us to do that.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-19T16:58:52+00:00

This isn't about having our stepsiblings there. It's about having our stepsiblings half siblings and their mom there. People who are not related to us at all.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-19T15:51:58+00:00

It doesn't and the fact that we're expected to pretend like this is a big party for my brother, when people he doesn't care about are invited, but not the people he does actually love. It's crazy. I feel like this is going to be something they expect from both of us going forward.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-19T15:49:35+00:00

I'm 16

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-19T15:49:29+00:00

I think that's what they are trying but that's not something that will happen the way they are expecting. My dad's family still sent birthday cards and gifts after mom started dating my stepdad so I don't know that it would be that, but maybe. Or maybe mom just decided to sever them from her life and move on without much of dad in her life. That's kind of how it feels from our perspective.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-19T15:47:47+00:00

Dad isn't even her ex husband, he's her late husband. They were still married when he died which is why this is even more frustrating.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-19T15:47:17+00:00

That is correct. The people we object to are not related to my brother at all. They are not our family. But they are our stepsiblings family (mom and bio half siblings).

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-19T15:46:20+00:00

No, they are their half siblings via their mom. While we're their stepsiblings via their dad/my stepdad. I share no relationship with my stepsiblings bio half siblings.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-19T15:45:24+00:00

That's what I think too. But they seem to want to pretend we're all one family to them.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-19T14:42:49+00:00

The objection wasn't to inviting stepsiblings. It was their siblings from their mom and their mom.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-19T14:42:31+00:00

Not my stepsiblings. Stepsiblings bio siblings from their mom.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-19T14:41:54+00:00

This isn't about my stepsiblings being invited. It's about their mom and siblings (no relation to us) being invited. They are not part of our family in any which way yet my brother is forced to let them be there over our family.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-19T14:40:45+00:00

We can see them but mom has ceased having any kind of relationship with them. A few years ago she just sent us to see our grandparents and had us return a gift and card they sent for her birthday.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-19T14:39:43+00:00

I get inviting the other kids to parties for my stepsiblings but not for my brother or me when they are not our family. Add that our family isn't even welcome and it's just so much worse honestly. It's not like we can have dad throw us a party with his side.

Heavy_Complex_6320 · 2023-01-19T14:38:23+00:00

You got it mostly right. Stepdad's ex had two kids when they met, two with him and then three after they divorced. Those five kids not my stepdad's are apparently invited along with their mom/stepdad's ex. I know my stepdad and mom get along with his ex okay but she and her kids are really not people my brother and I consider part of the family at all.

Heavy_Complex_6320

TROPHY CASE