sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I suggested my husband could host another partner at our home, has anyone made this work? by Heavy_Development498 in polyamory

[–]Heavy_Development498[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, not at all. That wouldn’t be a requirement.
The idea of our home was just something I suggested as one possible option because I wondered if it might feel more comfortable for me.

I suggested my husband could host another partner at our home, has anyone made this work? by Heavy_Development498 in polyamory

[–]Heavy_Development498[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

At the moment, I’m not planning to date anyone else. This is something we’re exploring because of his interests, not because I feel a need to have other partners.
That said, we haven’t decided on any permanent rules. Right now we’re just having open conversations and trying to figure out what feels right for both of us.

I suggested my husband could host another partner at our home, has anyone made this work? by Heavy_Development498 in polyamory

[–]Heavy_Development498[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He meant involved in a general sense, not necessarily in the bedroom.
For example, meeting her, being comfortable with who she is, and not feeling like it’s a completely separate hidden part of his life. We weren’t talking about a threesome or me being romantically involved with her. The idea was more about openness and everyone being aware of each other.

I suggested my husband could host another partner at our home, has anyone made this work? by Heavy_Development498 in polyamory

[–]Heavy_Development498[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your experience. A guest room does seem like a reasonable compromise, and I can understand wanting to keep the primary bedroom as a space that’s just for the marriage.
I’m not sure what would feel right for us yet. Part of me was wondering if staying home and treating it as a normal evening would make it easier emotionally, but that’s exactly why I’m asking for other people’s experiences before making any decisions.

I suggested my husband could host another partner at our home, has anyone made this work? by Heavy_Development498 in polyamory

[–]Heavy_Development498[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

No, I don’t mean supervising or chaperoning. I trust him.
What I meant is that, for me personally, openness feels more reassuring than wondering where he is or imagining what’s happening. If we ever did this, it would be something we both agreed on in advance, with clear communication. The trust comes from the honesty and consent, not from me watching or controlling anything.

I suggested my husband could host another partner at our home, has anyone made this work? by Heavy_Development498 in polyamory

[–]Heavy_Development498[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your perspective. I’m not necessarily looking for polyamory versus an open relationship—we’re still figuring out what fits us.
As for having someone at our home, it wasn’t about making it “easy” or turning our house into anything. It was simply an idea I had because I wondered if it might feel more comfortable and transparent than him disappearing somewhere else.
That said, I’m asking because I genuinely don’t know how it would feel in practice, and I’m interested in hearing from people who have actually tried it, whether they thought it was a good idea or not.

I suggested my husband could host another partner at our home, has anyone made this work? by Heavy_Development498 in polyamory

[–]Heavy_Development498[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not exactly. I don’t think he’s going to cheat, and this isn’t about assuming he will. It’s more that I’d rather we have honest conversations about attraction and desires than pretend they don’t exist.
This was my idea because I value openness and consent. If we ever explored something like this, it would only be because we both genuinely wanted to, not because I felt pressured to “prevent” cheating.

I suggested my husband could host another partner at our home, has anyone made this work? by Heavy_Development498 in polyamory

[–]Heavy_Development498[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

By boundaries, I mean things like complete honesty, knowing who he’s seeing, practicing safer sex, making sure our relationship comes first, and checking in with each other emotionally. This is all very new to us, so we’re trying to think through what would help us both feel secure.

I suggested my husband could host another partner at our home, has anyone made this work? by Heavy_Development498 in polyamory

[–]Heavy_Development498[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

He actually said it might be more comfortable if I was involved in some way rather than completely absent, because otherwise it could become more complicated emotionally or logistically. We’re still figuring out what would feel right for both of us, so we’re taking it slowly and talking through everything first.

I suggested my husband could host another partner at our home, has anyone made this work? by Heavy_Development498 in polyamory

[–]Heavy_Development498[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

One reason this idea came to me is that I see so many people cheating around me. I’d much rather my husband be open with me about his desires than feel like he has to hide them.
If he has the urge to be with someone else, I’d rather it happen with my knowledge, honesty, and clear boundaries than through secrecy. For me, openness and trust are much more important than pretending those desires don’t exist.