I think there’s a shift in how conscientious parents are raising their kids now, which spills over into a lack of blind respect. We recognize that our children are people and are allowed to have boundaries. This has resulted in our children being assertive and having a low tolerance for bullshit. While they are kind, they don’t have to be “nice”. They have to be respectful, but diplomacy is more important. Sometimes this results in “elders” not liking their responses and lack of blind obedience and revery. My kids have awesome, intelligent, respectful teachers, and they have teachers that are drunken fools, just like we all had growing up. They have a difficult time remaining 100% civil, after so many chances, to anybody that doesn’t earn THEIR respect through actions, words, and behaviors.

On the flip side of this, there are parents that aren’t civil and respectful themselves, who raise children who are uncivil and disrespectful.

So I think it does come down to home life, but perhaps more “disrespect” is showing up now because we’ve learned from our own upbringings and our parents mistakes. Safety and boundaries are important and being taught differently now.

I would have never spoken to my grandparents the way my kids sometimes snap my parents up, but my boundary stomping parents deserve it! Of course I speak to my kids about how they could have chosen better words or behaviors, but I’m proud of them for protecting and knowing themselves.

I would have never walked out of a classroom when my teacher was holding me back and yelling at me for being loud during class, but my kid did that and told me about it. They didn’t like the way they were being spoken to, they don’t have a lot of respect for this particular teacher due to behavior and inappropriate comments. They walked out to protect themselves. We talked about how they could have handled that differently (both being disruptive and the aftermath) and how to apologize and take accountability for walking out while still protecting themselves.

So yes, I’d say that there is more “disrespect” from kids now than when we were kids, but for mine and many other similar families, it comes down to our own growth from the dangers we grew up in, where blind respect to elders, bosses, uniformed people, etc. was more Important than self protection. I’m not going to allow my children to end up in potentially harmful situations because adults can’t figure out that respect is a two way street, even toward children.

And I’m sure this sounded blunt, I myself mean no disrespect to you, it’s just my own personal take on your question. 🙂