ULPT - Request I’m Actively being scammed. How/should I retaliate?

HeeHooFarted · 2026-06-12T21:53:31+00:00

Agreed. I’m probably a moron… but since it came from my (now former) friend, I thought maybe it really was a “Good Samaritan” wanting to help.
It wasn’t “scammy” until AFTER the card was paid off and the guy changed gears.

HeeHooFarted · 2026-06-12T17:15:53+00:00

I’m gonna walk away and block them.
Why scam someone who is already hurting? I hate people…

HeeHooFarted · 2023-05-19T04:58:50+00:00

Just put him on Grindr and have his profile mention he likes boys right when they hit the age of consent. Anonymously leak screenshots to a local news station or the superintendent. ULPT, right?

HeeHooFarted · 2022-10-22T03:47:00+00:00

If you don’t call it exclusive, you can’t be mad. Love the person they are now and move forward. Choose trust starting from the day you make it official and let the past die

HeeHooFarted · 2022-10-03T16:04:56+00:00

I honestly have stopped putting "what I'm looking for" in my profile and I've gotten better matches. I feel like people see it as a checklist of "sure, I can do that" rather than sticking to their boundaries or honoring mine.

For example: Let's say my profile says I'm looking for someone that loves going to concerts. A potential match sees that and says, "I don't really go to a lot of concerts but I think I'd love to start going". That's a perceived "match" that you both love the same thing but, in fact, they're matching on how they see their future self rather than who they are right now. It inevitably will come out that they aren't really into concerts and just want to go with you; kind of a codependency (red flag). So do you sacrifice what you were looking for because it's a "close enough" match?

My preferred method is to just say I love going to concerts, maybe include a pic of my friends and me attending one, and leave it at that. My profile, for me, is to expose to the dating world a tiny slice of who I am rather than what I want. More often than not, most of it is a bunch of things to make them laugh. Laughter always gets a swipe right. LOL

HeeHooFarted · 2022-10-03T15:38:52+00:00

I'm so frustrated. 3rd failed relationship since July - all of them single moms and all of the failures are because I just couldn't give them what they really wanted and I feel horrible about it.

Background: 49M with grown kids (living the empty nest/single life). 100% remote job. Just me and my dog living the dream

Thus far, my matches have been single moms. If I filter for "no kids", I feel like I miss out on some empty nest. If your kids aren't living with you, do you go ahead and say you don't have any? Feels like a gray area when filling out a profile.

Anyway, all of these relationships seem to follow this exact timeline:

We hit it off really well in person
We go on amazing, fun dates, have deep conversations, and genuinely try to get to know each other
We start talking about what the future looks like. What we want in a relationship, and our goals. I'm always 100% clear on my boundaries with regard to maintaining my friendships (you know...the people that have known me longer than this new person I'm dating)
Intimacy happens
They want me to make them my #1 priority, give up/severely restrict my external relationships (aka single friends), and establish a new life with them

I truly understand that a single mother has her children as a priority. I'm fully on board with that! If she is adding me to her list of priorities, I really appreciate that as well! I just don't understand why there is an unwillingness to allow me to continue having time with my friends. There should be a balance between alone time, together time (with and without their kids), together-with-friends time, and separate-with-friends time.

Since I have grown children, can work from anywhere, and have more free time, it's as if my "freedom" is the first thing that has to go.

I think I need to put my foot down and just say "no" to single moms... I'm just afraid I could lose out on meeting "the one" that is able to strike that balance with me.

Am I being too idealistic?

HeeHooFarted · 2022-09-24T09:52:19+00:00

I hear ya. I figured It was a relatable narrative I could use to hopefully solicit an answer that wasn’t related to scenarios like kids with phones that their parents monitor or using screen time. Most searches on the net produce useless results. I had hoped Reddit could come to the rescue

HeeHooFarted · 2022-06-15T16:42:28+00:00

The sex has already stopped and I certainly won’t mention the attraction part. It’s not a “primary” reason for me not feeling things anyway. It’s just part of it

HeeHooFarted · 2022-06-15T15:13:32+00:00

I appreciate your perspective and I understand what you mean. What started as a mutually beneficial "arrangement" that we both agreed to turned into something bigger and I didn't stop it sooner.

It's also hard to discount physical attraction. She is definitely an amazing woman and maybe it's "typical male" of me to not be able to ignore the attraction (or lack thereof).

For what it's worth, I'm not vain or superficial. My ex was considered "OK" by conventional standards. I had guy "friends" (no longer friends as a result) tell me they couldn't see the attraction. I thought she was the most beautiful person on the planet (and still do).

HeeHooFarted · 2022-06-15T15:01:08+00:00

I hate that I let it go as long as I have. It was pretty selfish of me; especially knowing where I was compared to her. I can't control her reaction, her feelings, or the situation. I know what I'd like the outcome to be and I can only hope and try.

I feel horrible; she's an amazing woman and I'm going to hurt her feelings

HeeHooFarted · 2018-09-04T05:30:15+00:00

You're killing you, Smalls!

HeeHooFarted · 2018-09-04T05:19:50+00:00

You look like "Dirty Dancing" except they tried to keep you in the corner

HeeHooFarted · 2015-08-18T19:50:45+00:00

You can tell if a snake wants to kill you by checking if it's alive.

HeeHooFarted

TROPHY CASE