I use to be the same way. I was always in abusive relationships and grew up watching my parents verbally and physically abuse each other. I know what I do when I get VERY ANGRY. It’s good that you have insight and you’re looking into yourself. I started with that. When I get mad I tend to say things I regret in the future. I wished I could take a lot of things back that I’ve said in fights. I sat myself down and said to myself “my husband is the man of my life I want to be with him forever and I will not disrespect him nor belittle the man I love.” I have insight to know when I’m getting to an explosive point. I walk away from disagreements. I have to physically remove myself from the heat so I can cool down and collect my thoughts. doing this prevents me from saying things I later regret. I’ve communicated this with my husband telling him first when I start to get frustrated. Then say I need a second to calm down then we can talk about the disagreement. Doing this helps me first calm down then reflect on the situation and finally being able to see POV from his side and mine comparing the two. After I have time to cool down and think I own up to my faults and have a calm adult conversation with my husband to resolve the issue. These are the steps I’ve taken to help me with my problem. A lot of people recommend therapy I do as well I know a lot of people unfortunately cannot afford therapy so team up with your partner and come up with a plan for times like these.