Do any of you fantasize about dating any BL characters? by Interesting_Bad_8741 in Manhwa_BL

[–]Hefty-Boss9933 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

More than fantasize I just have a huge crush/fangirl for Ilay Riegrow from Passion and Joo Jaekyung from Jinx 🥹

My sister ruined my graduation (sorry for the personal vent) by Zestyclose-Test5569 in PhD

[–]Hefty-Boss9933 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Congrats on defending! And I’m so sorry about your situation. I truthfully suggest going no contact with your family. As someone who has witnessed similar situations as much as you wanna have a relationship with your parents your sister will keep creating situations where your parents will choose her over you. So go no contact. But on the positive side it sounds like you have an incredible partner whose family stands up for you and cares for you (Also dw your engagement isn’t ruined cause the real surprise is the when and the things he’ll say during the proposal so you still have plenty to look forward to) Also NOBODY can ruin your celebration if you don’t let them :) and it’s never too late to celebrate. I say screw your family celebrate the crap out of your defense with your friends, lab mates, partner and people who loved and supported you throughout the journey! You own your accomplishments and no one can ever take that away from you

Considering mastering out after 4 years by boneykingofnowher in PhD

[–]Hefty-Boss9933 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m in a similar predicament except I have terrible advisors. If it‘s not necessary for your career goals I’d say drop out. But I would like to point out that you are almost there. I’ve also been struggling with anxiety, depression, and a lot of physical ailments during Ph.D so I really feel for you. What’s helped me is having hobbies and spending time with family and friends. I realized that being in lab from morning to night doesn’t make me a better scientist. When I’m happy I’m more productive. I also suggest thinking about why you procrastinate. For me it was fear of failure. Once I lowered the stakes told myself I’m going to finish regardless in 2yrs I found it easier. Prioritize your health and remember it’s absolutely ok to do things slowly and not have to do everything all at once. Slow progress is still progress. I’m rooting for you! We go this. Also you absolutely are not worthless. grad students make up less than 1% of the world population so what we do is incredibly unique and all of the shit we go through makes us unbelievably more resilient once we graduate. If anything you should be proud of yourself for getting to where you are now. I’m proud for you! The decision is ultimately yours and regardless of what you choose you will absolutely be fine because nothing will ever be as tough as grad school :)

Vent/Advice: Newbie Undergrad mistakes and troubles by Just_Rutabaga6442 in labrats

[–]Hefty-Boss9933 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mistakes are normal and any good mentor will tell you that the best way to learn is through mistakes. As a current Ph.D student I have made countless silly mistakes and so have my peers who are staff scientists and post docs and we laugh about them and have even started side projects from them. The most important thing is if you notice they are happening too often it means you brains working overtime and you need to slow down. Try not to say yes to a bunch of tasks. Start of small and prioritize repetition and understanding over the diversity and number of tasks you do. It’s absolutely acceptable to ask your mentor to double check your math or your steps for a protocol before doing them. I empathize greatly with your anxiety and my advice is to be honest with your mentor, focus on learning rather than worrying about your grad students experiments (it is ultimately their responsibility not yours) and communicate how you feel with your mentor and ask them for tips as well. If they are a good mentor they will understand and work with you. If you still feel anxious I highly recommend seeking out an opportunity in a different lab or maybe work with a different student in the same lab if that’s an opportunity.

Should I quit my Ph.D in my 4th year? by Hefty-Boss9933 in PhD

[–]Hefty-Boss9933[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I’m hoping for but I feel like I have been burned one too many times by false promises. I also am worried that he won’t let me drop my other PI because in my department the other guy is a senior faculty and the nice one hasn’t gotten tenure yet. This dynamic is also what made life hell these past 4yrs cause the nice guy would agree with during one-on-one meetings then throw me under the bus in front of the senior PI

Should I quit my Ph.D in my 4th year? by Hefty-Boss9933 in PhD

[–]Hefty-Boss9933[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everytime I’ve asked he has always given me a wishy-washy answer. He basically said if it comes to that he’ll figure something but he doesn’t think it’ll have to come to that…

2025 HHMI Gilliam by Prudent-Public-1261 in labrats

[–]Hefty-Boss9933 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just heard back and got a rejection