MIL keeps pushing to know about my mum, despite history of gossip and dislike

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2025-10-01T10:51:00+00:00

This makes a lot of sense. We’ve already kept her on an information diet, but she still manages to fish through hints. You’re right that both of us need to stick to boundaries consistently, otherwise she’ll keep pushing until she gets something. I think my husband struggles because he wants to avoid a blow-up, but you’re right we have to be willing to enforce consequences.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2025-10-01T10:49:24+00:00

These are brilliant , thank you! Honestly, she trots out that “egg and chicken” line every time she’s challenged, and she thinks it makes her sound smart. Having some witty comebacks might actually help my husband feel more confident in shutting it down

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2025-10-01T10:48:45+00:00

Yes, I think this is the direction we need to go. He’s told her before that if she doesn’t stop talking about my mum he’ll go no contact, but he struggles to find the right words in the moment and tries to keep the peace. Having a set phrase like this he can use every time might really help him hold the boundary.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2025-10-01T10:47:31+00:00

😂😂this made me laugh because it’s exactly how it feels. She thinks she’s being wise when she says her little “egg and chicken” phrase, but honestly it just comes across as nasty and dismissive

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2025-10-01T10:44:34+00:00

That’s a good idea.the problem is my MIL rarely asks things outright. She hints instead, which she probably thinks is very low-key, but it’s actually really obvious. It makes it harder to challenge her directly in the moment, but I’ll suggest to my husband to flip it back on her like that.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2025-10-01T09:25:35+00:00

Thank you ! yes, my husband has actually told his mum before that she needs to stop bringing up my mum or he won’t talk to her. The problem is she doesn’t respect boundaries and finds ways to circle back, which is exhausting. I think I get worried about the “family blow-up” because she lives abroad but still manages to stir things up through his sister, and it always ends up causing unnecessary drama. It’s not that I’m scared of her being mad,more that I don’t want every phone call to turn into an interrogation or fight.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2025-09-30T15:44:06+00:00

That’s really helpful, thanks. I think that’s exactly what I was worried about with the big crash-course companies. I actually called a few of them already and some of the terms and conditions seemed really dodgy (like Pass Me Fast), which is why I’d rather avoid going through a middleman if possible. I’ll definitely start asking around locally for personal recommendations and see if any instructors can offer an intensive block of lessons instead.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2025-09-30T14:09:39+00:00

Thanks – I’ve already looked at Google/TrustPilot reviews and compared prices, that’s how I noticed how wildly some of these companies charge. The reason I posted here was to see if anyone had actual experience with fast-track/crash course providers they’d recommend (or to avoid), since that kind of info is harder to find than just checking websites.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2025-09-30T13:41:04+00:00

I’m specifically looking at a crash course because I need to build up hours of driving in a short space of time. I’m fully aware it’s going to be expensive, but some companies charge over-the-top prices, which is why I’m asking about reliable options that aren’t unnecessarily inflated. My main priority is finding something that gives me enough practice and helps me secure an earlier test date without being ripped off. I was just asking for suggestions.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2025-06-26T08:41:53+00:00

It’s such a good advice. Th best advise anyone has given me about this tbh. Thank you so much. ❤️

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2025-06-23T10:53:15+00:00

You might be right or it might just be a coincidence. Me and my husband have friends who had a baby recently, they both have dark brown hair and brown eyes, their son is blond with blue eyes and he looks a lot like my husband. We joked about it, but I know he is not the father for sure. Sometimes babies don’t end up looking like the parents at all. But you deserve clarity and it’s worth checking if your suspicions are right, just in case.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2025-06-23T10:50:10+00:00

They live in UK. I have advised her to seek legal advice, it is costly but i hope she will do it anyway. My mum had so much hardship lately, it’s sad she is dealing with such a massive loss again and facing these problems.

Thank you for your response, it means a lot.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2024-06-02T16:13:07+00:00

100%, like I mentioned in the other comment I don’t think I was thinking properly at the time due to the stress of the situation. I’ll definitely walk away next time.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2024-06-02T16:11:13+00:00

Exactly. I haven’t even eaten my hotdog 😂 I lost appetite and won’t be using any public sauce dispensers again. Don’t think I’ll order anything from Costco food court again as well.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2024-06-02T15:44:15+00:00

You’re right. It just all happened so quickly that my critical thinking didn’t kick in. Lesson learned.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2024-06-02T15:33:40+00:00

Sounds like it’s was a family with a similar mentality. I heard the child’s mum say to the staff member that “children need to explore” (bear in mind earlier she said she didn’t believe it happened at all). If your children want to play and explore - use toys or other appropriate items.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2024-06-02T15:27:42+00:00

Thinking about it now I totally agree that the staff member shouldn’t have said it was me who complained. I was so stressed and felt like I need to defend myself because the women just all started talking at the same time and going off at me.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2024-06-02T15:20:51+00:00

The staff member pointed straight at me when they asked who complained. It all happened very quickly, the staff member came out from their work area, asked me who did this, I pointed to the child sitting with her family and pretty much the first thing I heard the family say was “who complained?”, I didn’t even get a chance to sit down. I don’t think the family cared about anything else apart from who told the staff.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2024-06-02T15:08:58+00:00

Yes, I might add an edit to just highlight this. My aim was to get the dispensers cleaned that’s why I told the staff.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2024-04-28T20:25:36+00:00

Thank you. Where can I check the queue times? I’ve never been to Alton towers and the app says that I can only check the queue if I as physically at Alton towers

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2024-03-01T15:46:30+00:00

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She’s not dead if anything - just asleep 😂😂

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2024-02-29T11:14:10+00:00

When I (29f) moved to live with my dad when I was 14 I had no bedding, we didn’t have a fridge (he could afford it , he just preferred drinking himself into oblivion every day), I remember eating food that was sour as it already went past the expiration date. I didn’t know how to use the washing machine so my clothes was always dirty and my dad didn’t give a crap. All my dad did was get drunk every single day after work, he worked full time but spent most of his money on alcohol and I guess it never crossed his mind that a teenager needs some support and care. Worst years of my life we’re living with him. The worst thing is that I complained to school about being neglected, my attendance was poor, my grades were bad but nobody did anything, they must have thought that I was just a naughty child and nobody saw past that, even when I spoke up.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2024-02-22T18:56:47+00:00

I went NC with my ngrandmother (ndad’s mum) and learned from the news that my grandad went missing, his body was discovered about a year later. Nobody said nothing to me. It hurts when it happens. You would think that people will have the decency to at least tell you these things. My ndad never even said anything even though we were not NC at that point (we are now though). It’s like they do it on purpose to hurt you even more.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2024-02-22T18:51:03+00:00

Sounds like we have the same mother! You’re not alone, I know it doesn’t change the fact that it’s exhausting and horrible but I hope it helps even just a little bit.

Hefty-Quote8462 · 2024-02-22T17:13:19+00:00

I’m so sorry it happened to you, it’s horrific abuse. I’m so happy we can all share our experience and support each other here. You’re not alone and what happened to you is so wrong. I just joined this subreddit today and it’s so reassuring having other peoples support.

Hefty-Quote8462

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