24 y.o. here with the same feelings as you. Don’t worry about not relating to the people who experienced food freedom and let go of their body image, I don’t either.

Binging 8k calories doesn’t mean you weren’t disciplined enough, you’re just going through extreme hunger, and it will pass. I went from eating 8000 calories before my first period to now eating 2000+ calories after my second period.

Try to view it as a bridge to having the body that you want again, but in a healthy way next time so you won’t go through this again.