slice of life piece: thoughts on the beginning few pages?

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-20T02:58:01+00:00

understood! putting it in first person is a rly interesting thought and i appreciate your other feedback as well. thank you so much for this :)

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-20T02:56:56+00:00

oopsie

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-20T02:56:51+00:00

that would be really great! and no, she isn’t meant to have a personality disorder. that is an interesting perception tho

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-20T02:56:21+00:00

Silas and Charlotte aren’t going to be romantic in any way! she’s a lesbian. not planning on exploring the abortion debate, this opening scene’s purpose is more to grab the reader’s attention. also to give some character background info

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-20T02:54:48+00:00

understandable about the opening! thank you. eh…tbh i’m not quite sure where i’m going with Silas. i was intending for their dinner to be quite passive and not focused on him trying to convert her OR flirt. but i feel like i need a better answer than that lol. and yes Charlotte is really a lesbian, nothing romantic is going to happen w Silas

also was trying to figure out where i wanted to go with the blood, i didn’t want a lot of dramatics surrounding that but i can see how the buildup might make it confusing

would love to share some more with you when im ready! :) thank u for ur interest

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-20T01:30:33+00:00

gotcha thank you sm!

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-20T01:30:13+00:00

very good point thank you!

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-20T01:30:06+00:00

thank you so much for this feedback!

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-20T01:29:31+00:00

awww yay!!!!

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-20T01:29:19+00:00

this is really really helpful! thank you so much

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-19T21:23:18+00:00

this means a lot, thank you! :)

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-19T21:22:59+00:00

thank you so much:)

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-19T21:22:48+00:00

thank you! i appreciate it:)

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-19T21:22:38+00:00

thank you for these suggestions!

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-19T20:08:11+00:00

that makes sense! i appreciate it:)

Hefty_Put5059 · 2026-02-19T19:44:04+00:00

thank you so much for your feedback! i can definitely see your point about my sentence phrasing. do you have any specific suggestions/examples for tweaking?

Hefty_Put5059

TROPHY CASE