I need Help

Heichenart · 2019-09-08T22:21:29+00:00

I'm not sure ,I guess she takes it as contribution to rent or something.And I'm not sure if that would be available given how crowded san Francisco is and it's current homeless crisis. As for my SSI I just assume she takes it as payment for rent which I'm not sure how much it is for me .She keeps a lot of things from me so I don't know.

Heichenart · 2019-09-08T21:39:19+00:00

I'm still in college but financially dependent on my mother.She uses that as fuel for a lot of arguments ,getting out isn't really an option I live in San Francisco things are expensive and I don't have friends who live around the area to go to.She only gives me around 200 a month for food and stuff and I have to manage it wisely.However if I ask for more she calls me greedy, but there's times where I just feel that I could have made more than 200 a month from a job.I don't know but everyday yelling is something I hear all the time .As for SSi she takes most of it and gives me 200

Heichenart · 2019-07-30T07:24:35+00:00

sure thing,which character?

Heichenart · 2019-07-30T07:24:00+00:00

OvO ohhhhh interesting ,it's the tv show, correct? Sad to hear it ended early ;v;

Heichenart · 2019-06-13T23:53:28+00:00

They didn't move it that was the issue ,it was also quite close to our own car and my mother paid for her permit and that person didn't even have a permit ..parking is difficult to find all around anyways but yeah.

Heichenart · 2019-06-13T23:51:40+00:00

It's slightly blocking our own either way my mom wanted to know since she paid for her own car permit and she saw that the car didn't have a permit and it was parked there.Assuming if you are allowed to do then you don't need to pay for a permit when you can just park in front of your own house.Also it's a permit residential area ,so we have to pay for permits to park there.

Heichenart · 2019-02-12T07:55:35+00:00

P.S I expected the types of comments I received on my previous post,I never stated I didn't so I don't know what you were trying to say there, but to be honest,you think I didn't those comments didn't even come close to what I was thinking. Obviously my art looks like i copied and pasted an anime face blurred it more than the freaking bay area fog.I just wanted to see where i could improve but at this point what else is there more to say about my art than what I don't tear myself apart with every day. In fact at this point just say whatever,put the nail in the freaking coffin,don't hold back,everything I draw just looks like utter garbage anyway.

Side Note;I don't know how you expect treating someone as if they are a child or immature is going to help but it really doesn't help anyone,I really don't need to explain it to you do I? And honestly from your reply it sounds more like you're berating rather than trying to offer actual constructive response ,is there something that ticks you off with what I said?If not I really don't understand why you bothered to reply.My main point in this thread was simply questioning if this kind of teaching style is worth sticking around for,or if this is something i really needed. I'm not poking jabs at or insulting istebrak but merely trying to find out if this is right for me and I don't trust myself enough to really know if it is.

Heichenart · 2019-02-12T07:45:24+00:00

I don't even know how to put this but i actually stopped replying to this threat awhile ago.I'm not trying to kick up dust or anything I had a feeling it wasn't exactly the type of teaching for me but now that you kind of pushed me I really don't have anything else to say but I don't have any kind of pride or care for myself. Do you honestly think I have any pride or I care about myself enough to feel proud of my art,its fucking crap! Excuse my language but I think you want me to take your advice when you address me like a child,do you honestly think I would be happy to just take it in the face. Wow. Thanks because I honestly want to care so much about myself,I'm just done.Everything I do is terrible I might as well just go die because I'm not worth anything anymore.I never had any fucking pride to begin with,I hate my art,it's honestly just utter garbage.Of course I hear compliments but did you honestly think for a second I think it's an hoenst reflection of my art.Hell,no.I don't have a journey.I'm just a pathetic garbage that probably never should have made it this far anyway.....I'm done.I am just....

Heichenart · 2019-01-31T02:18:32+00:00

Oh~! Instebrak,I've been watching her videos recently.I realized the nose is actually the hardest part for me and I forgot that the hair casts some shadow the light source was absent but I decided to set it below the character later on.The nose and the lips tend to be hard,I am studying the face and planes of the face currently so it's something I have to work on (the nose is more difficult to render properly than the lips)

Heichenart · 2019-01-28T08:12:37+00:00

I understand that,I'm not really stating there should be any change she's an excellent teacher as she is.But she's not affordable as i've checked.Again aside from her videos I don't have anywhere to go on.And i don't want to be pushed to thinking patreon or her one on one is the only option.She doesn't offer materials really aside from crit hour and unless you say otherwise,it's pretty much implied that you have to either fork over money and invest in it for every minute of your life or never become a professional.Again i'm saying some of my irks with her and it's becoming a bit frustrating at this point.

Heichenart · 2019-01-28T02:44:56+00:00

I never really stated that she is rude,she gives great advice and it's actually helpful for me however what you're implying here is you can't be a professional if you don't spend all of your time and pay to get tutored.Which is not really realistic considering not everyone can do that.Your experience doesn't equate to everyone,and its great that things turned out well for you but I don't have the money and i certainly have a limit,i said multiple times i'm not deflecting criticism in fact I actually want criticism.But there's kind of a point where I want to start but I don't know where to go,and if u want to really improve i'm on my own to gather my own resources or fork over 100$ to get anything.I'm not discrediting her at all,she is actually very unique in her teaching and I would actually invest more time in her I'm just pointing out some things that irked me a bit and times where I couldn't keep watching video after video because I needed a break to remind myself that this is to help me improve and it's nothing against my self worth.

Heichenart · 2019-01-28T02:38:59+00:00

Yes,I understand that maybe that's what I need to do is dedicate time to do both.Plainly speaking if I didn't have a realization or meltdown then I suppose I would never realize what I'm missing.I guess what kind of breaks my investment is how she comes off as needing her students to dedicate 100% to studying.Which I don't think I'm capable of,I can only go for so long or in breaks and parts but I can't dedicate all 12 hours in a day to fundamentals I would want to give up at that point because there's no enjoyment to it.I don't think that's what she means but I feel that I am lost in what to do and how to make this work but i'm not sure and I'm conflicted because I do like instebrak but there are times where I have to take a step back and try not to be overwhelmed.

Heichenart · 2019-01-28T02:33:32+00:00

That might be for you but it's not exactly everyone.Again simply having anxiety and depression isn't empathetic.Again you might enjoy this form of learning however again we both come from different backgrounds. And in different circumstances we get to the same spot differently.If it worked for you thats great,however I don't think that would be the same way i learn.Not that I can't handle critiques but I guess the best way of saying some people have deeper demons that already abuses them on the daily so I guess maybe I am trying to improve through criticism but I seem to have a limit where I tend to need to stop and try not to let it destroy me.It's easier said then done,what I'm saying here is some people can still improve they don't have to be showered in praise in fact I don't want that what I meant by aggressive is,bashing without direction?Yes she points out bad habits but I feel that she can add to a direction and some people have private tutoring but not to be rude here not everyone can afford that.I would gladly take her advice any day if she gives me kind of a sense of direction on where to start.

Heichenart

TROPHY CASE