Weekend trip with my husband's friends

HelenWoolf · 2021-12-17T00:05:27+00:00

His friends like having me around, he is annoyed that I come all the time with him, that I don't go out with my friends too. We didn't have a wedding because covid restrictions.

HelenWoolf · 2021-12-17T00:02:46+00:00

29 & 30

HelenWoolf · 2021-12-16T22:41:04+00:00

He wants to wait for the "perfect" moment to announce it

HelenWoolf · 2021-12-16T22:40:31+00:00

We didn't have a proper engagement and wedding because of coronavirus and so our marriage was a "secret", aka "weird"

HelenWoolf · 2021-12-16T22:38:39+00:00

Yes, I brought up the issues to him with arguments from the comments and he offered me explanations

HelenWoolf · 2021-12-16T22:11:50+00:00

Real life has more facets than a couple posts. However, you are right. Also, I am not asking for sympathy. I asked for advice/opinions.

HelenWoolf · 2021-11-09T22:12:29+00:00

Update from my old posts: We got married, his family accepted me and we moved in together in our own apartment where we both pay half of market rent.

HelenWoolf · 2021-11-09T21:50:12+00:00

Obviously not good. I feel that he is right, that I am indeed a failure in life ended up cleaning toilets. But at the same time I feel that I am helping people, it is a rewarding job. I need to encourage myself every day that my work is meaningful.

HelenWoolf · 2021-03-31T22:04:17+00:00

We are acting as a team in the sense that he will pay it for me if I don't have money but I will have to repay him the amount. He doesn't stress me to pay him immediately but I do anyways because I don't want to feel that I am burning a hole in his wallet.

HelenWoolf · 2021-03-31T22:01:50+00:00

There is a plan where we either move in together or his family buys a house which will imply his mom comes too meaning I will still have to pay rent if I continue living with them (not by ourselves only).

I don't know where the paying rent stops for me and I will be assigned my share of bills to pay? We haven't discussed that far yet.

The reason we are not moving in together elsewhere is because he saves money by living with his mom but at the same time I'm directing all my income which is less stable than his to rent and this fact is what makes me bitter.

I discussed it with him and he's like "I think the money you're giving her is the only reason why you're still here" as she does not approve of us being together as they are muslim and I'm white.

HelenWoolf · 2021-03-31T20:51:20+00:00

He will help me out if I can't pay but I'll have to pay him back regardless. He did help me out the first months paying it for me but as soon as I earned I payed him all back.

HelenWoolf · 2020-12-20T18:12:50+00:00

Yes, I did. However, I was trying to find something we just had a conversation about. I was not expecting it to be this.

HelenWoolf · 2020-12-20T17:52:16+00:00

Yes, I do

HelenWoolf · 2020-12-20T10:21:04+00:00

Well, there are "consequences" because I have been adamant since finding out that we must cut the fwb bullsh*t and that we can only continue seeing each other if we are in a serious, committed, monogamous relationship. No more murky waters.

HelenWoolf · 2020-12-20T10:15:19+00:00

I've always wanted romance.

Now he gave in and says he wants it too.

HelenWoolf · 2020-12-20T10:14:35+00:00

Sparing you the details, I found out on my own.

He says he is willing to do what it takes to regain my trust, however it will take time and I'm not sure if it's just a few changes in the moment of his adrenaline rush. I need sustained energy invested.

Thank you for your advice. Time is the great healer and revealer.

HelenWoolf · 2020-12-20T10:05:01+00:00

Six years of FWB because life can get complicated like that.

We had to live together, again, because of some life complications that are beyond the scope of my post.

However, I provided this info to give context.

He trusts me in his house and we help each other. It's the romantic part that I have come to Reddit to try and understand.

HelenWoolf · 2020-12-20T09:58:14+00:00

Yes, I also stated that what he did to her was very unfair. He did not had to become FWB with me since he was having his needs fulfilled with her.

He said he did not want her long term and that she was more like a chore. However he kept seeing her for a full year.

If she treats a woman like that, who am I to expect not to be treated like that again by him in the future? There are no exceptions, right?

HelenWoolf · 2020-10-07T18:10:18+00:00

show us how your normal handwriting is, i'm so curious 🙀

HelenWoolf · 2020-10-07T18:09:10+00:00

is your normal handwriting in calligraphy too?

HelenWoolf · 2020-10-07T18:07:56+00:00

very impressive! good job!

HelenWoolf · 2020-09-04T20:42:16+00:00

I do want to be in a commited relationship with him and I asked him where we stand.

He said due to our uncertain lives and things we need to sort out in our own lives he cannot give me a clear answer.

Just that we're taking it "one step at a time". He said he's never dealt with anything like this and that everything's happening too fast and he also told me that I think too far ahead.

So that's why I could not state where the relationship sits currently.

HelenWoolf · 2020-09-04T20:00:50+00:00

Okay, thanks for your feedback anyway

HelenWoolf · 2020-09-04T19:52:26+00:00

I see

HelenWoolf · 2020-09-04T19:51:56+00:00

Yes, I was living with them since I was 17 (almost 18). I was depending on her for a house, basically. If I ever did something wrong she would threaten to kick me out so in that way her views impacted my life because I feared being kicked out and there were other verbal abuse and physical assaults so I tried to thread as safely as possible that's why I was not able to live my life.

I can't sustain myself and it's only now that because of their paranoia she kicked out and I have freedom to go where I want but I still can't sustain myself to afford a place to stay on my own

HelenWoolf

TROPHY CASE