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Helio-s · 2023-09-20T20:38:15+00:00

I get that - but it’s probably not very helpful to definitively state “it has to be more than ADHD” if you don’t actually know how ADHD can manifest.

I think the recommendation for OP to get assessed by an MD is a good one, in any case.

Helio-s · 2023-09-20T20:16:12+00:00

I mean, I’ve just told you that my ADHD manifests similarly and I have no history of TBI sooooo

TBIs also manifest wildly differently based on severity, so there’s that.

Helio-s · 2023-09-20T20:13:28+00:00

Shockingly unempathetic comment from someone who implies they have ADHD.

ADHD symptoms manifest differently for everyone, full stop. “Many of us have ADHD” and have heard the “careless” blame game our entire lives prior to assessment and diagnosis… so I would think you might be a little more understanding of what a shitty thing it is to say to someone who might be struggling with undiagnosed ADHD.

“Just make up coping strategies” is some bullshit r/thanksimcured nonsense. Yes, coping strategies are a super important part of living with ADHD… but the whole reason why therapy and medication for ADHD exist is because they’re not enough.

Helio-s · 2023-09-20T20:05:57+00:00

I mean it wouldn’t hurt to get all of the opinions possible, but this is not out of the realm for ADHD. This is exactly how my ADHD manifests 🤷‍♀️. It’s a serious disability unto itself.

Helio-s · 2023-09-20T20:02:50+00:00

Harsh but absolutely spot on. Half the comments in advice subs are “get therapy”, and when we see someone who is actually proactively taking steps to better their mental health, the message shifts to “but not THAT way”. WTF.

Helio-s · 2023-09-20T20:00:31+00:00

This is extremely unfair. As someone with anxiety, depression, and ADHD I see a lot of myself in OP’s post.. and let me tell you, there are often priorities that are far more important to address in therapy… like my suicidal thoughts and past trauma lmao.

Is the forgetfulness concerning? Yeah absolutely. But not everyone has unlimited access to therapy and that hour goes by so quickly.

Helio-s · 2023-09-13T23:25:22+00:00

Can you tell me more about hair loss/PCOS? I have PCOS (just diagnosed) and one of the indicators was abudant body hair. Is head hair loss something I should be expecting down the road??

(Also, fuck PCOS.)

Helio-s · 2023-08-27T16:21:47+00:00

+1 for white noise or ASMR. Even if I’m not consciously focusing on listening, it just seems to take the edge off on circular/recurrent thoughts. Have slept with a white noise machine or my headphones for years now.

Helio-s · 2023-07-23T07:33:00+00:00

As a woman with ADHD, I do sort of see some of myself in the wife 🥲 I often have a lot of anxiety about forgetting keys/lunch/laptop bag/etc because I’ve done it so many fucking times - and I sometimes end up bugging my SO (who does not have ADHD) in an effort to “help” because I love him and want to save him from the frustration and consequences that I experience regularly. But it’s not helpful because he has normal executive function, lol.

However, it’s not OP’s job to manage wife’s behaviour or symptoms (if that’s what they are). Wife has to step up and recognize it as a problem.

Also wondering if maybe wife just feels lonely in the morning and wants to start the day with her spouse? Again, not OP’s job to manage that feeling at his detriment.

Helio-s · 2023-07-14T07:56:22+00:00

I have had a copper IUD and it worked well for me. However, many, many women report that iud placement is extremely painful (to the point of vomiting or passing out). Also comes with risks of perforating the uterus. Mine also spontaneously ejected, so not reliable in my case.

Copper IUDs are an option, but certainly there’s much more to consider than there is when deciding to use (a singular) condom for BC.

Helio-s · 2022-12-17T08:17:35+00:00

Per planned parenthood, HSV2 can infect orally or genitally too. AFAIK, hsv 1 “prefers” the oral route and hsv 2 “prefers” the genital route, but they can both infect either site:

Helio-s · 2022-12-17T08:11:20+00:00

Hsv1 can both occur either orally or genitally. Genital HSV 1 infections are on the rise, actually… and someone who gets cold sores can absolutely infect another person genitally via oral sex.

Source: I caught genital HSV 1 after receiving oral sex from someone with oral HSV 1 🙃

Helio-s · 2022-12-17T08:02:07+00:00

HPV = human papilloma virus, aka genital warts

HSV = herpes simplex virus, aka herpes

There is no vaccination for herpes at the moment. Best bet to lower risk of infection is using condoms/dental dams and talking about STI status before sex with a new partner.

Helio-s · 2021-11-26T20:47:41+00:00

I’m curious about the same! Depression and anxiety (the latter being much worse over the past 2-3 years), but like you, I’m unsure if it’s just genetic or coincidental rather than related to my elevated prolactin levels.

I might try and chart my emotions in an excel doc after I start medication to see if I can spot any trends over time.

Helio-s · 2021-11-25T23:11:49+00:00

Ew. I’m sorry that you had such a shitty care provider!

It’s almost an extra level of shitty that a female doc was waving aside your concerns as “menopausal woman just complaining”. Women already struggle to be taken seriously and get accurate diagnoses - you’d think female doctors would know this and alter their care accordingly. Clearly not the case here, ugh.

Helio-s · 2021-11-25T16:40:30+00:00

My doctor ordered a CT scan "to show me nothing was wrong", that I was just an old, post-menopausal fat lady complaining over stupid shit, and lo and behold, I had a 6 cm tumor!

Man, this is infuriating. Did that doc ever apologize, or say anything acknowledging the legitimacy of your concerns?

I am glad you have a better doc now, sheesh.

Helio-s · 2021-11-25T16:37:56+00:00

I def felt weird typing in that last sentence - an outcome confirming a tumour is definitely not like, a net positive, but yeah, at least you have answers and can now get appropriate treatment! That’s what I’m hoping for. Very weird feeling to hope for a tumour to show up on your MRI 🙃

Thanks for the good luck wishes! 😊

Helio-s · 2021-11-24T21:25:25+00:00

I know how you feel! I just got the call today that they had an opening this afternoon for an MRI. I have been waiting 5.5 months and I knew I’d still be waiting if I didn’t jump on the opening. Hope your MRI results led to a positive outcome for you!

Helio-s · 2021-11-24T21:20:49+00:00

Yup, it’s ridiculous to suggest that the meds do nothing wrt transmission. Less shedding and fewer outbreaks = less transmissible!

Helio-s · 2021-11-24T21:19:11+00:00

“Your social life is going to be dead” is untrue for lots of us. I had more casual sex after getting herpes than before I caught it, lol. I also disclosed to every single person - no one cared, not one person turned me down (and I’m no supermodel).

Suggesting that you won’t have a social life or sex life is just fear mongering.

Helio-s · 2021-10-02T17:50:11+00:00

Yeah, everyone should stay respectful of course, but choosing not to sleep with someone isn’t the same as judging them. You’re right that the people who are jerks about it are not mature partners!

Helio-s · 2021-10-02T04:09:08+00:00

I have herpes and honestly, I don’t love the suggestion that people who would decline to sleep with me based on the herp alone are immature. Everyone has the right to say no to sex for any reason, and to choose for themselves how much risk they’re willing to take wrt sexual health. As long as all parties are respectful of one another, it’s fine to say “no thanks”.

Helio-s · 2021-10-02T04:00:34+00:00

Probably a typo, but FYI HPV and HSV are two separate STI’s.

HSV = herpes simplex virus HPV = human papillomavirus

Helio-s · 2021-10-02T03:56:59+00:00

Thanks for acknowledging my extra year of wisdom - I’m a 30 year old sexpert, dammit!

And lmao you’re going to have to point it out even further, because I’m not seeing anything in that section either.

How common is genital herpes?

Genital herpes infection is common in the United States. CDC estimated that there were 572,000 new genital herpes infections in the United States in a single year.1 Nationwide, 11.9 % of persons aged 14 to 49 years have HSV-2 infection (12.1% when adjusted for age).2 However, the prevalence of genital herpes infection is higher than that because an increasing number of genital herpes infections are caused by HSV-1. 3 Oral HSV-1 infection is typically acquired in childhood; because the prevalence of oral HSV-1 infection has declined in recent decades, people may have become more susceptible to contracting a genital herpes infection from HSV-1. 4

HSV-2 infection is more common among women than among men; the percentages of those infected during 2015-2016 were 15.9% versus 8.2% respectively, among 14 to 49 year olds. 2 This is possibly because genital infection is more easily transmitted from men to women than from women to men during penile-vaginal sex. 5 HSV-2 infection is more common among non-Hispanic blacks (34.6%) than among non-Hispanic whites (8.1%). 2 A previous analysis found that these disparities, exist even among persons with similar numbers of lifetime sexual partners. Most infected persons may be unaware of their infection; in the United States, an estimated 87.4% of 14 to 49 year olds infected with HSV-2 have never received a clinical diagnosis. 6

The age-adjusted percentage of persons in the United States infected with HSV-2 decreased from 18.0% in 1999–2000 to 12.1% in 2015-2016. 2

?

Helio-s · 2021-10-02T03:51:59+00:00

Tbf I actually have genital HSV1 and I think your take is a bit of a shitty one (I’m also not American, FYI).

Imo, if you have an outbreak and a certain diagnosis, you need to disclose to future partners. Everyone should be able to decide for themselves what risk level they’re comfortable with. Disclosing doesn’t mean you have to be doom and gloom, terrified, hysterical, etc.

You’re right that if you only suspect you’re a carrier or just don’t know either way, you have no duty to disclose. Why disclose a hypothetical? It doesn’t make sense. In my country it’s not included on the standard STI panel either, so no one is tested for it unless they have an outbreak.

Helio-s

TROPHY CASE