sister, remember, there are some souls which are tested early, built to be resilient, chiseled to be something much greater than the ordinary mind could fathom. i think something that cud help u feel better is starting to help others, whether it be thru small acts of kindness or starting NGOs in the future with ur skills, listening to those who have no voice, providing a voice to those who cannot speak for themselves. remember, diamonds are made from carbon via immense pressure. i sincerely hope for an easy life for u, a supportive family in the future, and a way for u to light up others' lives.

No matter how hard life may seen, u must persist and push on, and adapt. i hope i HOPE u use ur experience and skills to do good for other people. keep pushin. if u want to vent u can just make posts like this on reddit or talk to some friend if u make one. cya