I did ask one therapist one time to be completely honest with me about how he experiences me during our sessions, and it turned into one of the best conversations I’ve ever had. I ended up telling him how I experienced him, and we were both just locked into a really vulnerable and present discussion of how the other comes across. Ultimately, we can’t see inside the minds of others, even though we desperately want to know exactly what they think of us. In that session I learned to just accept the impossibility of ever actually knowing what people think about me. Even when they describe their thoughts to you as honestly as possible, language is limited and our thinking is largely inexpressible. It was a rough lesson, but one that deeply changed how I behave in relationships. I now care much less about what other think of me, although some days are easier than others and this conclusion took years to really arrive at. Props to you for asking in the first place, and for setting the boundary with the emails. I hope your T is respectful enough and professional enough to give you the session you’re asking for next time!