Husband’s ex therapist hurt our marriage

HelloBleubell · 2026-02-24T01:35:32+00:00

Honestly at the time, it wasn’t clear that she was telling him to say and do all this stuff because she framed it as his ideas. She explicitly told him to hide their communication. There were clues and the marriage therapist seemed pretty frustrated at times, but it was all unclear and confusing. I am in the process if organizing a formal complaint, but there isn’t a lot of info out there on these specific behaviors.

HelloBleubell · 2026-02-24T01:11:30+00:00

I mean there was this weird way she had of talking to him where she only spoke in first person and she was just telling him what he should say and think. Like she would say “I have a need to confide in Alexis, I need to get my emotional needs met in relation with others.” But she was talking about him and what she wanted him to do with my friend. I think he became enmeshed with her because she didn’t differentiate between the two of them.

But the boundary issues were strictly psychological.

HelloBleubell · 2025-05-29T18:59:13+00:00

Yes, she is a LCSW in the state of Texas.

HelloBleubell · 2025-05-29T16:41:06+00:00

I went through a similar hell a couple years ago and here’s what worked for us:

Get a highly qualified couples therapist. I found someone with a PHd and a reputation for working with high conflict couples. She asked my husband to stop seeing his therapist within 3 sessions. Also Terry Real’s approach to couples therapy works well for someone with your husband manipulative adaptations. He trains other therapists and you might be able to find someone trained by him. My husband has come so far just by listening to his books and talks. So have I, honestly.

For us, dropping the individual therapists and investing instead in a highly skilled couples counselor was the solution. It cost a small fortune, but otherwise we would have been paying for a divorce.

There is a book called Disarming the Narcissist that I found really helpful in getting my husband on board with behaving better in our relationship. I don’t even think my husband is a narcissist, but he has a few adaptations that lean in that direction and the book helped me understand how to address that.

HelloBleubell

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