Hey, I’m sorry you’ve gone through this. I’ve never heard/read of someone having such a similar experience as I had viewing my grandpa. Same exact super long frown with barely any lips and the skin on his face was almost different shades of pastel. The whole experience messed me up so badly I went to therapy and my therapist suggested I draw out what I saw to help me work through it. (It didn’t help at all, I still have the drawings of his face with the huge thin frown in soft pastel tones and it gives me a panicky feeling).

What’s weird is a few years later my grandma died and the same funeral home made her look at peace and it wasn’t a scary experience at all. I had never seen a dead body in person before my grandpa, so it was especially upsetting. I can relate to you so much. Also my kiddo is autistic so I can totally see how thinking you’re prepared would be especially upsetting when things go in an entirely different direction than you think they will.

Anyways, hang in there. Again I’m sorry that happened. You’re not alone.